• obnomus@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    6 hours ago

    I’m a guy and Idk about this sweatpants things, pls someone give me some context.

  • scoobford@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    17 hours ago

    My brother in Christ, you do not realize how down bad the 20-something girls with daddy issues are.

    My best friend hooked an old guy without custody of his kids. They’re moving in together next week.

  • Etterra@discuss.online
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    1 day ago

    That’s what I’d be telling my fiancee as a joke because I know she’s a chubby chaser (in her own words).

  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    50
    arrow-down
    12
    ·
    1 day ago

    About 16% in men have a fat fetish compared to <1% of women. Also about 36% of women prefer a partner heavier than them. Also, 97% want a man who’s taller than them while about 2 % of women want a man smaller than them.

    Of all the people currently alive, about 7% are women aged 25-35. of those 1% like fat men, of those 2% want the man to be smaller. So you have 0.0014% of any given population who is female 25-35 and likes small fat men. About half of them are single, you you have 0.0007% of any population who will find you attractive.

    In a city of 400,000 people that’s 3

    • AngryRobot@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      7 hours ago

      Physical attractiveness isnt the only kind. Lots of dummy guys get got chicks by being funny or kind.

    • LyD@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      12 hours ago

      Lemmy is finally in its incelposting phase! Not good!

    • REDACTED@infosec.pub
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      17 hours ago

      Also about 36% of women prefer a partner heavier than them

      Wait what? Men are naturally bigger with more muscle. Is the study implying most women prefer skinny marathon runners instead of bodybuilders?

      • SSUPII@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        1 hour ago

        Comment OP provided zero sources. This could be an online form where people can lie and say they are the other gender to feel better about themselves. Removing the chance of lying who got questioned could have also interpreted “heavier” as “fatter”, not generally “bulkier”.

        Or they could be made up or have atrocious sample sizes and selection, as per usual with general polls.

    • SSUPII@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      18 hours ago

      I don’t get the reason for posting all these magic numbers with no source, especially since it is about preference of something that is considered a “taboo” and many will refuse to properly state them, under a completely unrelevant post. So even if there is a source for these, both if the poll is in person or online, they are very unreliable.

      Not to deny the minority that are people that highly prefer a fat person/partner, especially since I am both one and prefer one. I am not here to conquer every single person that sees me even if I was the complete opposite and be jacked, because that is simply unrealistic.

      I am myself, with my personality and a body I feel comfortable in.

      • InputZero@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        16 hours ago

        Me neither, it implies that dating is just basic stats. Which no, because dating preferences aren’t independent variables. If you score low with a potential partner on a particular quality that doesn’t mean they’ve rejected you, unless that quality is a deal breaker. They are variable’s that are dependent to and from other variables, how are you with pets, are you pursuing a life goal you have set out for yourself, how are your relationships with others, ect.

    • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 day ago

      Height was not stated. Also, if she doesn’t care about his marital status she probably doesn’t care about her own. Also also, it is stated that she is 25. Not going to do the math, so I will assume we are up to 1%

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      149
      ·
      2 days ago

      never underestimate the desire of some women for married man. I had a friend once tell me shw only dated married man because she knew he was good enough. No need to say the friendship didn’t last long

      • Troy@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        142
        ·
        2 days ago

        This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they’re already in a relationship.

        There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.

        The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.

          • Björn Tantau@swg-empire.de
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            15
            ·
            1 day ago

            That’s especially great with salary negotiations. When you’ve already got a stable job there is nothing to lose from aiming high.

          • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            1 day ago

            I can attest, got out of a long term relationship a while back and have had absolutely no interest in getting involved with anyone to any degree, and I have been getting way more attention than I’m used to. Having no interest, however, just leads to me awkwardly smiling, a moment of silence while they’re waiting for reciprocation, and then me saying, “Thanks. Well, you have yourself a good one!” and scurrying away to play Red Dead 2.

        • LilB0kChoy@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          43
          ·
          2 days ago

          I must be ugly as sin. My wife and I have been married almost five years and I have yet to be in a situation where a woman is pursuing me and I can shout, “I don’t know you! You’re not my wife!” and run away.

        • blarghly@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          35
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          2 days ago

          Also the reason for the rock star phenomenon.

          A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl’s monkeybrain says “she thinks he’s a good bet, so he’s already been vetted, and he’s probably a good bet.”

          Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he’s a good bet. He must be a good bet.

          Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girl’s monkeybrain: “literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He’s your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!”

        • CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          1 day ago

          Exactly. Some people like things they can’t have. The thrill, the risk.

          Same reason why rich people steal stuff for the thrill.

      • xkbx@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        43
        ·
        edit-2
        2 days ago

        It’s like when children grab the toys of others. They don’t want to play with keep the toy, the fact of the toy being possessed is what makes the toy desirable. The grass is always married on the other side of the fence.

        Edit: choice of wordS

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      12 hours ago

      Youngsters wear Birkenstocks with socks in France.

      Yes and it’s quite popular (age group like 16-20 I guess) possibly the summers footwear.

      I kid you not.

      • Wolf314159@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        6 hours ago

        OG sandals involved socks always. Granted fashion has changed a bit over the various millennia since the invention of sandals and socks.

    • Krudler@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      20
      ·
      edit-2
      5 hours ago

      The dad bod is in

      Among fat chicks. Healthy women want healthy men.

      edit: up/down ratio is PERFECTLY in line with general obesity rates, as I expected, as is ALWAYS the case when I whisper any notion about how being overweight/obese isn’t really a good thing

      • SSUPII@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        23 hours ago

        Nope. Reminding you of thid absolutely golden Twitter moment

        The absolutely insane amount of cope the comment section starts spitting out is almost hilarious, implying that “women are lying” even.

          • SSUPII@sopuli.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            2 hours ago

            Absolutely, I would never doubt it (as anybody should from a picture alone).

            I noticed that a good chunk of many that like to single out people and relations based on size they also think anything different than a stick is unhealthy and only “who is in the league” would consider it. It is just something not grounded in reality, and everyone will like what they want.

        • Vespair@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          16 hours ago

          I mean as a guy I think the dude looks easily 100x better in the “before” pic. I don’t know who this dude is at all, but that before pic is already a perfectly comfortable, healthy-looking body. Before looks approachable and friendly, while still healthy. After looks high-effort and very motivated; that’s a lot for some people. A lot of people want somebody they can relax on the couch with popcorn with, not somebody who is gonna wake up every 6am to go running.

    • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      arrow-down
      44
      ·
      2 days ago

      Oh bless your heart.

      You realize that.a young woman who is even mildly attractive can pretty well have her pick of men her own age. She dont want no tubby dude 20 years older, wearing clothes from Costco and driving around in a Subaru crosstrek.

      Once us guys hit our 40s we just disappear into the hedges like homer, just part of the background.

      • Zozano@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        41
        ·
        edit-2
        1 day ago

        Look, champ, I don’t even know where to start with that screed of yours; it’s like you veered across every social lane marker at once and somehow managed to cut off common decency in the process. People are out here trying to keep their traction in a world full of potholes; maybe set the cruise‑control of basic respect before you rear‑end reality, yeah?

        How dare you talk shit about the Subaru Crosstrek. We’re dealing with a 220 mm ground‑clearance, symmetrical‑AWD, snow‑eating, gravel‑spitting, apocalypse‑commuter that will outlive three of your fashion cycles and still start on a minus‑five morning without a whimper.

        It’s a five‑star‑safety‑rated go‑anywhere hatchback that gulps eight‑litres‑per‑hundred on the highway while your precious status wagons guzzle twice that idling at a café; it holds its resale value like a dragon sits on gold; throw a kayak on the roof, a mountain bike in the back, and go touch grass. The Crosstrek is the Swiss Army knife of daily drivers; slagging it off is like mocking duct tape - it only proves you’ve never fixed anything in your life.

        • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          10
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          1 day ago

          Oh lovely, the Subaru Crosstrek. The automotive equivalent of a bearded man in hiking boots who’s never seen a mountain. Yes, yes—220mm of ground clearance, symmetrical all-wheel-drive, and a CVT that responds to throttle like a golden retriever responds to algebra.

          You call it an apocalypse commuter? Please. The only thing this thing has ever survived is a steep mall parking ramp. It’s not a rugged off-roader—it’s a cosplay Jeep for people who think flannel is a personality. This car talks a big game about conquering snow and gravel, but starts hyperventilating the moment it sees a hill and a headwind at the same time.

          And let’s talk about power—actually, let’s not, because there isn’t any. Merging on the motorway in a Crosstrek isn’t just dangerous, it’s spiritual. You put your foot down, say a quick prayer to the gearbox gods, and hope that the CVT decides to simulate a gear that moves you forward rather than just turning fuel into unpleasant noise. Resale value, Swiss Army knife, duct tape metaphors—fine. But at the end of the day, it’s a hatchback with hiking stickers, delusions of grandeur, and the acceleration of a depressed tortoise.

          It’s not that the Crosstrek is bad. It’s just that it pretends so very hard to be brilliant—while delivering the dynamic excitement of a soggy oat biscuit.

            • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              9 hours ago

              Yes! I was going to write something, but I loathe crosstreks and their owners to the point where I didn’t want to waste my own time.

              • Vespair@lemmy.zip
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                16 hours ago

                Real people use em dashes — the models were trained on real human output after all — so this new crusade against em dashes as the Mark of Beast for AI has always been and continues to be silly.

                • Zozano@aussie.zone
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  12 hours ago

                  Real people use emojis too

                  Doesn’t explain why AI bots loooooove:

                  • 🙃 lists with emojis as list points
                  • 💩 Em—dashes—without—spaces
                  • 🥴 Weird as hell analogies like:
                  • 🦮 “responds to throttle like a golden retriever responds to algebra”
                  • 🍆 For the record GPT didn’t write this
              • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                5
                ·
                22 hours ago

                I use em dashes…I think it’s sad that a proper grammatical construct is so thoroughly ignored by most people that now it’s a sign of inhumanity.

                • Zozano@aussie.zone
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  5
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  21 hours ago

                  Sure, but it’s also in the tone, language and grammatical structure. After you know what you’re looking for, you can feel whether it’s AI written.

                  For what it’s worth, I’d be cautious about using em dashes; people basically associate it with AI without exception.

                  Even when I use a document editor, and it sometimes 'auto swaps" a dash for an em-dash, I’ll undo it. Just because I wouldn’t want to be perceived as copy/pasting something.

      • lowside@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        34
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 day ago

        Older dudes can absolutely get younger girls. However, they are mostly going to fall into 2 categories. Serious emotional/psychological issues. Or looking for a sugar daddy without as much stigma.

        If you are in great shape, have a good personality and a good job, then at 40 you can still pull girls in their 20s without to much trouble. If you let yourself go, and have nothing to show for your age then it will be a lot harder.

        The better question is why would you want to? What would you even talk to them about?

        • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          ·
          1 day ago

          Can confirm. However, something happens in your mid 40s, I think the third growth stage of humans. In the space of about a year I went from beautiful 20 something women actively engaging with me, to suddenly something like primal visceral disgust instead.

          Sort of like how they reacted when I was in my 20s. Which is why I was completely unprepared for that tiny window of opportunity.

          Penis emerged unscathed.

      • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 day ago

        Ironic that you complain about men disappearing in their 40s when this happens so pervasively to women it’s called Invisible Woman Syndrome.

        Aging out of societal relevance is hard for everyone. Let’s not pretend that this is a uniquely male thing, especially when women are pressured to conceal their aging to a far greater degree.

        • grindemup@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 day ago

          Honestly I don’t see them complaining nor are they pretending that it’s uniquely male. I just don’t see any words to support that. Do you think you might be reading a bit too much into it?

          • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            14 hours ago

            Nope. Just reading with basic comprehension:

            Once us guys hit our 40s we just disappear into the hedges like homer, just part of the background.

            The context of which was that women don’t experience this because OP was making the claim that young women can ‘have their pick of men’ when ever they want.

      • robocall@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 day ago

        She dont want no tubby dude 20 years older, wearing clothes from Costco and driving around in a Subaru crosstrek.

        I asked this guy for an engagement ring and he let me pick out the one I wanted!

        • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          20 hours ago

          I switched from the Sam’s Club 30 minutes away because I was tired of getting Walmart grade crap to a Costco 50 minutes away. Prices are a little higher, quality seems not quite as much higher and when we do the math, the savings over just going to Target or whatever aren’t always there

  • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    106
    ·
    2 days ago

    Me: “I’ll do my best but you know how hard it is to resist this.” Gestures at dad bod

    Wife: “Oh, I’m well aware.”

    Me: 😘

    Wife: 😏… 🍆👉👌

  • morphballganon@mtgzone.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    1 day ago

    Hey sweatpants can do some work. Are they grey?

    Also 40s can be good-looking

    And “fat” is pretty subjective; people with average bodytypes can be very successful with confidence

  • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    112
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 days ago

    In a sense of understanding the wife’s perspective, proximity is just as important as the other major factors that affect how likely a relationship is to begin. There was a cool study of college students who lived in an apartment style building that showed you were most likely to begin a relationship with the person who had a door immediately next to yours. The only exception to that was for the person who had a door immediately next to the mailboxes. Proximity matters because it lets another person see you enough to form opinions based on a lot of interactions, and we all know someone who ‘shines’ despite their physical looks.

    Plot twist: new neighbor was wearing a shirt that read, “I <3 dad bods,” and was already flirting (asking for help moving boxes /eyeroll) with the guy in sweatpants.

    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      1 day ago

      asking for help moving boxes /eyeroll

      Just as an aside, I would do this regardless of my interest. If I’m moving and there’s someone watching, I’m going to try to enlist help. They can say no and I won’t be offended in any way, but I’ll give it a shot, because moving sucks and it’s faster with more hands. I won’t gush about how strong the movers are or anything, but I will offer them beer/pizza afterwards.

      • Wolf314159@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        6 hours ago

        I mean, come on. Being not too proud to ask for help, allowing someone else to feel useful and genuinely being appreciative of their help? That’s pretty fucking hot to be honest. Maybe I’m a slut for being made to feel useful and appreciated.

    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      That study seems kinda backwards. I lived next to my future wife in student apartments, but that’s because we liked each other and intentionally chose the arrangement.

      • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        23
        ·
        2 days ago

        The apartments were randomly assigned. Do you know many freshmen who got to choose their dorms? Once I was a sophomore+, I did, but that first year in university-run student housing I didn’t get to pick.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      28
      ·
      2 days ago

      If someone has to tell their spouse not to break their martial vows, or even feels like they have to say it, that couple should go to therapy.

  • Lucky_777@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    2 days ago

    We usually say to each other…don’t bring home nasty STDs. Even though we both know…way to busy to fuck someone else.