Someone in this little thread be like:

From what I’ve gathered, it’s entirely possible that some previously exclusively gay terms are now more generally applied.

A suit of plate armour, and maybe a shield or a weapon.

Not just gay sex, any sex with power exchange. Can also include completely heterosexual mild BDSM.

Second user’s name: “Warm beer is a war crime”

Klok fans: “Now listen here you tyfusleijer”

Next step: roll this out over the internet.

Actually, scratch that, that would make some teenage-run Discord servers become online Fight Clubs.

In the defence of some of us, like myself for instance, I live in a country where we can do literally jack shit to affect American political bullcrap, because it’s nowhere near America. I’m pretty sure Europeans are excused from having to stay up to date every moment, unless we can force the rest of the world to be continuously in the loop about… idk, whatever crap Geert Wilders is up to right now…

If I were in a dramatic mood, I would look at the guy, my fork still in my mouth, put up one finger while putting my fork away, theatrically and exaggeratedly chew my food before swallowing it, equally exaggeratedly, before answering: “You could hardly have picked a worse time to ask that.”

Or if you’re like me and see a thread, be all like “Oh, that could be interesting, I’ll check that later,” and put your phone away for a few hours, and then, when you finally get to check the thread again, and refresh it just to be up to date, you see it’s been permanently deleted…

Throwing weapons only, and they’re all reskinned to turds. You never die, but you win if you get hit the least at the end of the timer.

Nah. At that point it only looks stupid.

This is literally the second item on my front page of subscribed communities. Did I just hit the dopamine jackpot? 😃

This. Oh no, the ice cream tub has a lock on it? Guess I’ll make another opening *grabs a kitchen knife*

Same for this. Oh no, she won’t consent? Then we’re doing it raw!

^(kids, this is a terrible excuse to fuck over your future. Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.)^

As far as I know, UK English also uses the spelling Battery.

They are, in fact, the very model of a modern major general!
They have information vegetable, animal and mineral!

On second thought, could be 1980s Cave Johnson, when Aperture was seriously in decline.

Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without “the following regions:”, it would be more Cave Johnson.

You’re still working, but if the boss has come to rely on you going above and beyond, it’s basically not working anymore.

Doing exactly what your job description entails, to the letter, to specified standards, nothing less and nothing more. No going above and beyond. Way too many places demand 110, 150, maybe even 200 percent of what you can deliver. Working to rule means you deliver exactly 100 percent.

Something something leopards eating faces