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I’m not sure whether I want this to be read by GLADOS or Cave Johnson. Both would deliver the hell out of these lines.
It was Cave Johnson for me.
I just read it twice, with both, in my head.
Cave Johnson was funnier.
I read it as GLaDOS first and got a little smile, then went back and reread it as Cave Johnson and laughed.
For Cave, the signoff would be:
I’m Cave Johnson, don’t @ me.
Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without “the following regions:”, it would be more Cave Johnson.
The enumerations would work if he’s reading it as a press release, probably uncomfortably, and with a few asides to an off-screen character about how he doesn’t like it
With irritated paper-shuffling noises.
On second thought, could be 1980s Cave Johnson, when Aperture was seriously in decline.
emergency testing initiative voice from the start of P2, just for the maximum level of unpersonness
JK Simmons would do this press release proud.
I think specifically Portal 1 GLADOS.
I prefer the robotic announcer with the fake uplifting, soulless tone.
I’m a little surprised nobody thinks of that
I think I’ve seen this with audio for both.
Corporations supporting pride are canaries in the coalmine. When they stop chirping, you know something is wrong.
Besides, I don’t like cynicism. Yeah, most big corps don’t give a fuck. And this is what this meme is about. But regular gays work everywhere, and support does make a difference in those places
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Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it’s disturbing to see how in the last few years I’ve seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.
Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it’s disturbing to see how in the last few years I’ve seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.
Well, if the homophobes hate it, and the LGBT people constantly post “I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT” why should they bother anymore?
When LGBT people say, “I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT”, we’re not saying please do even less. We’re saying, “please back up your superficial displays with real, meaningful support”. Do more, not less!
Fair viewpoint, but the majority of memes I see are lacking the “make more authentic” part.
To be honest, I think some of those memes are being made as false flags to discourage corporates from doing pride stuff, some are accelerationists that just want to shit on corpos, and the rest are lefties sick of the kind of support that only comes after the battle has been won.
I agree with your desire, having more assistance during the strugge, and aiding the struggle in other places, not just “the west”
Idk this has similar energy to “If conservatives hate foreigners and progressives see through the bullshit PR - why shouldn’t Shein just continue using child slaves?”
I’d love to engage, but I don’t understand the Shein child slave thing
Jesus, it is the company in Portal. It is a satire
I hear you. My reaction to the banks/other massive conglomerates draping colors for whichever things will retain the most customers that day/week/month is the same as the people who wait until the Super Bowl and then show up at work decked out in Eagles gear. It’s sad that it has to be tied to something so fake but the support isn’t exactly going to be turned down.
Great analogy.
Can hear Cave Johnson saying that, it’s missing an off script line after “your favourite colour of gay”
Cave Johnson standing away from the mic: what do you mean the colour gay? Gays not a colour! It’s a rainbow, it’s all the colours! Who wrote this script? I want them fired, fire them now!
“And then, there will be cake.”
There was cake, just not for you.
Lol, this dude didn’t find the cake, everyone point and laugh at them!
I prefer to habe cake outside an industrial crematorium
Your loss, it was a pretty damn good piece of cake.
Very moist!
Although not flaky
ich habe und du, bis sie unterschätzt werden
So “So that was a fucking lie” was a fucking lie
*parts of North America
Most accurate depiction of corpo pride month attitude.
Some conservative is gonna see this and start a “Boycot Aperture Science” campaign.
We’ve both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret.
Quick spread the word to them
god I hope so, love seeing dummies putting their dumbness on public display.
Contempt for Dummies
No one plays Portal here? No gamers?
I’m more of a Black Mesa guy.
Same
Got it on sale!
Same thing happens at Christmas.
Much more pronounced too. It goes way beyond a few posters and flags. Xmas songs, trees,food etc. It’s on everything all over the place. Pride needs to really up its game to get up to Xmas level.
The Safeway here puts up Xmas decorations in September, so does math we’re going to have to start in February…
And keep it up till halfway the summer when you switch out for Halloween…
You might get accused of waging a war on Easter though. I suggest joining forces with the Easter Bunny, hares that lay eggs are queer as can be.
Ok but is that voice GLADOS or Cave Johnson?
in my head it was the other robotic voice. I think it was used in both portal 1 and 2
Definitely Cave Johnson. The tone is disregarding and corporate, GLaDOS would have been insulting and condescending.
In my head it was definitely Cave.
I saw this or something similar a few years ago.
It’s outdated today. Aperture is a defense contractor that wouldn’t risk upsetting trump.
Yeah and now that certain companies run the risk of getting flattened into the ground by Trump, only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.
only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.
By which you mean only those companies that believe appearing to give a shit will be more profitable than sucking Trump’s dick continue to support Pride.
Isn’t that’s company in Portal (video game)?
Yes, a company that heavily satirizes American capitalism.
Yes.
Are you telling me that there are companies out there that actually care about the LGBT for real?
There are at least a few companies owned by people in that community.
Any of the multinational conglomerates, though? Not a chance.
Netflix don’t add subtitles just for deaf people.
If it makes them money, they care.
I’ll do my own pandering thank you. With a collection of clear virtue signals, a rigorous purity filter and a crew of fanatical moderators.
You never play Portal?
BASED as FUCK
Is it just people having unrealistic expectations of what a corporation can do?
How can such an entity have empathy, its like expecting a computer algorithm to have empathy. Pure fewelishness.
He didn’t say “Chariots!”, so we know it was a Cave Johnson from an alternate universe.
