Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.
The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.
Proof homophobes are full of shit.
Sounds like he enjoyed the way it felt and that scared him.
How does this even come up in conversation, like what’s the context? Do they not wipe either?
It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.
Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.
I sleep naked. My sheets would be so very rank.
An ex of mine refused to wipe and would shower after every poop, claiming tp was ineffective, BUT WOULD ALSO refuse to purchase a bidet; the toxic masculinity here was thinking he was outsmarting us all while also contaminating every shower he had ever used
Washing your ass isn’t contaminating the shower, that’s almost as bizarre as thinking using tp makes you gay.
Washing your ass under the shower doesn’t “contaminate” it. Sure, use toilet paper first, then go wash yourself. But you would be surprised how much shit (literally) is in the air. It’s everywhere, even on your toothbrush.
Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that’s “for women”. It’s acetone, my dude, acetone.
All solvents are gay. That includes water, the gayest of solvents.
This makes sense, every gay person I’ve met drank water.
Water, the universally gay, solvent.
If only it could dissolve the gay away.
The H in H2O stands for homosexual, it’s true, look it up.
Meanwhile I buy my wife nail polish that just happens to be the same color as something I need to touch-up or paint.
“metallic grey…gee…thanks?”
I have at least 2 dozen metallic grey nail polishes lol… I’d be stoked to get another!
Real men use isopropyl alcohol.
I don’t even know what that means… Like you got a sharpie mark on you? Permanent marker on a white board? What scenario is that lol
I only use carb cleaner!^(1) /s
1 also acetone
I’ve been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I’ve had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.
These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.
They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were “disgusted” by these people.
They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.
But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.
Then the boss would come around the corner and you’d never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.
It’s in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the “gayest” trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.
All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That’s kinda gay dude.
The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.
To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.
I’ve walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That’s still not as gay as watching “straight” acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.
Ick…
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That reminds me of this Ron White joke
Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I’ve seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn’t like that she was “telling him what to do.” They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.
Bankruptcy is so alpha male
Was an old car salesman tactic to basically tell guys they weren’t man enough to risk something they could barely afford.
I heard a motorcycle salesman tell a customer to call his wife and ask if he could have his balls back for a couple of hours so he’d be able to make a decision on his own.
Yep, that’s what I’m talking about.
So funny how poorly this would go for me. I’d just tell the guy he’s being a dingus and go to a neighboring town’s dealer in hopes of finding someone less douchey.
Salesmen are pretty good at judging what works with which people. It’s still really douchey and manipulative though.
My last car purchase involved something like this but without the misogyny. I knew exactly what I wanted, for how much, and had my own external financing. The dude loudly sighed on the test drive multiple times after trying to build a rapport unsuccessfully. I was perfectly courteous to him, but I wasn’t giving in to his sales pitch one inch.
Sorry guy, I view you as the cashier at Walmart and not my buddy who’s gonna get me a killer deal on undercoating.
Still is. Attach emotion to a sales pitch and if the buyer is dumb enough to play into it, you’ll sell every time.
One word.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
“Oh you want to talk to your wife before making the second largest purchase of your life? Who wears the pants in your relationship?”
Weird, I know a couple who did exactly this about 13 months ago. They’re divorced now. Unfortunately they spawned a child who will now have to deal with two parents who hate each other and can’t stop fighting in front of them at every meeting.
All from some kind of weird macho trip fuelled by insecurity.
That’s how the salesman guy got Homer to buy the Mister Plow truck lol
The dangers of telling your man what to do!
Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they’re issuing out bed linens. We’re all thrilled because we’re getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because “they have flowers on them”, then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.
He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.
The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.
I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.
Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I’m guessing this isn’t the same.
My bad, I didn’t realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)
What do they call those where you’re from?
To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you’re describing (we call that a “crib” in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.
In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven’t ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.
Surely there is a name for it in Brittain since their soldiers probably use something similar.
Probably, but I’m not/don’t interact often with soldiers, so I don’t know
I guess what’s called a ‘crib’ in the UK is what we’d call a ‘bassinet’ in the US?
Sometimes called a “camp bed” but I’ve heard cot in the US
it’s like a glorified stretcher
I just had a concrete floor cut for plumbing, and neither of the guys wore a mask or respirator which is insanely unhealthy. I have a feeling it was “not manly”.
Which makes that quite literal Toxic Masculinity.
“Why are you in palliative?”
“Silicosis.”
“Brah, that is so fkn chad!”
Well Chad is like the second worst men’s name, so checks out.
It’s up there with Kyle
And Todd.
Ugh and Doug.
Shame, one of my favourite workplace proximity associates is called Kyle.
Theyre not going to feel very manly after the silicosis kicks in
they’ll walk it off
/s
These are typically the big right wingers who later in life live in a constant state of rage because they’re crippled or disabled and blame the government or immigrants for the fact that they live on a $1200/mo disability check, can’t work, and have nothing to their name. At least that’s my personal experience.
When I was 18 and my buddy was 17, we went to the beach. He wouldn’t let me put sunscreen on his back because that would make him gay. What if a woman saw?
He ended up with a severly blistered back, horrible, serious burns.
Me, I went up to the cute girls and just said excuse me hehehe… I can’t reach my own back.
He was also too chickenshit to do that.
You should have suggested you put sunscreen on each other’s backs at the same time to get it over with quicker.
Good idea. Squirt some sunscreen on one back, then rub balls together until you’re both covered.
Edit: I meant backs, not balls, but I’m leaving it.
One point awarded to autocorrect.
You absolutely meant balls
The OG reach around
Back to back. Back to back.
Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it…
The worst I have heard was when my husband’s old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn’t even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.
He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.
We live in Australia too, so it’s not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.
I’m American and the last two lines killed me 😂
How unsupportive. My dad at least took an hour off to drive mum to the hospital.
The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they’re so tuff and manly and they “just won’t crash”.
I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.
This is my 4-year old’s logic.
Me: Come down from there! You need a helmet if you want to climb that high on the snow pile/rock/whatever!
Him: But I am not falling! Look!
Me: 🤦♂️ No, not yet, but you might!
Him: But I’m not!
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤌🤌
Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I’ve ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they’re living out some early 2000’s Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.
One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would’ve otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it’s not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.
Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked “why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls” and I’ll never forget how they responded with “why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?”
Tbf that’s not toxic masculinity usually, just stupidity. It’s the same shit for men and women a like, and some idiots even teach their spawns to ride without one. But I guess you only buy helmet for the kids you want to keep…
If something I’ve learned from 15 years of bmx and MTB, is that there’s no such a ride that doesn’t warrant using a helmet; was it visiting shop, picking kid from daycare or a day ride
I disagree I would say most kids/teen’s refusing to wear helmets for cycling and skating are doing it because they think it’s uncool, why is it uncool? Because it makes you look less tough afraid of falling, definitely toxic masculinity.
Head injuries, accidental bad falls can ruin your life.
I’d call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem. In skateparks sure it is, but when you look at the streets people commuting, a helmet is a rare sight and it’s almost even more common to see a guy with helmet than a woman.
It’s similar to toxic masculinity, but I’d rather call it hivemindlessness lol
I’d call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem.
Toxic masculinity is not a solely male problem, it’s a set of behaviors that’s harmful or potentially harmful to either the person itself or people around them that is perceived as normal masculine behavior.
It’s similar to toxic masculinity, but I’d rather call it hivemindlessness lol
Those are the same things, Toxic masculinity is literally the product of the hivemind, the idea that you are a wuss if you protect your brain and wear a helmet isn’t something that you are born with.
Yes, it is the same thing except the “masculinity” part. The “feminine” counterpart is toxic femininity.
We’re talking about a problem that’s not specific to either of those
It’s not just stupidity, some people might just make different risk calculations than you. BMX and MTB is way different than visiting a shop.
If your risk calculations exclude every other person on the streets, sure I can understand why skipping helmet in order to preserve cool factor and hairstyle seems reasonable.
If you count in the fact that any idiot might just hit you down with their car after mixing pedals or some kid run in front of you, it’s just obvious to wear a helmet unless if you’re an idiot.Using a helmet is basically comparable to a seat belt. Zero effort really, just a habit you’re supposed to learn from childhood and automatic ever since.
How would you call a person refusing to use seatbelt other than a idiot?You should stop mountainbiking if you really care about risk avoidance so much, “unless you are stupid and an idiot”. It’s much riskier than casual cycling without a helmet.
Yes exiting your house is also a huge risk, and statistically staying home is even bigger risk. Better just lock yourself to a soft room in an institute or commit unalive. /s
You clearly seem unable to understand what a stupid risk is. You’re ignorant to the point you’d take a risk with zero possibility for a positive outcome, just for your fragile ego. Just like the rednecks too cool to wear a seatbelt or a construction worker at hights without harness.
I’d call it fair if it was for the thrill, that’s cool and we all have done and are doing stupid dangerous things for it. That’s maybe not always smart, but it’s what keeps us alive. That’s what we’re talking about when we think of calculated risks. If I hit this trail, there’s a chance I’ll hit a tree if I make a mistake. Or I’ll grind that rock garden with my face. I’m well aware of those risks.Stupidity is to imagine those risks don’t exist or let your ego ignore them because “I’m so fucking tough” or “I don’t want to mess my haircut and I’m not gonna fall anyways I’m not a kid”
Your friends sound like proper douchebags too btw.
TIL there’s a proper way to be a douchebag.
I wasn’t trying to define grades of douchebagness, but to tell you that your friends come off just as bad as their counterparts in your little anecdote. Since you seem to think your friends had a cool rebuttal, i suspect you’re a douche too.
I never implied that, I just didn’t know what you meant by a “proper” douchebag. Excuse me for having non-native-English skills.
Yep that’s the dumbest thing. I’ve gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn’t wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.
Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider’s comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it’s manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?
I’ve never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I’d have put that thing on ASAP.
Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that’s totally apart from the safety issue.)
Only protect what you want to keep, as they say.
I can’t see without a helmet when the wind picks up! Wife and I have bluetooth comms that make riding way more fun
Vega?
For me it’s between refusing to use an umbrella because “it’s gay” or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.
TIL: being a top is NOT gay 🥳
A good portion of Hispanics believe this. The gay one is the bottom one.
I did very well when I visited Mexico for this reason. The amount of dudes just totally cool with topping was excessive. Guys who are, by their own cultural standards, completely straight hanging out of grindr. It was a glorious week.
This is stupid hot — and a cross-cultural win–win
It was stupid hot. Lol. Also, apparently in the US I’m a disgusting fat fuck, whereas in Mexico, I’m whatever the Spanish word for thicc is, and have an ass worth pursuing. Lol.
Huh, like in ancient Rome. Nothing wrong with banging boys, but utterly shameful to be on the receiving end.
"Muh
anal penetrationgaysex is the only straightsex
I’m alright with not holding an umbrella but I’d want a raincoat or something to keep me dry still.
But “fellas, is it gay to be dry?”
Sitting in the middle seat of a work truck can get a little gay if you’re driving a manual and need to shift into 2nd or 4th. Joking aside, I would probably use any excuse not to sit there because it’s incredibly uncomfortable to straddle the transmission hump.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DmTgpsvkqt8 obligatory Bill Burr.
Basic hygiene.
cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)
He only “cleans” himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore… and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.
Is the twice a year an exaggeration, or does he actually only shower every six months…?
Sadly, no exageration.
And yes, the smell is even worse than you can imagine.
Had the misfortune of entering his bedroom one day and his sheets were black (they were originally beige…), and stiff, and cracked when he sat on them.
Had a dude in my division on a US submarine like this. Stupidly gross. Ended up having a medical order that basically made him shower every day under supervision from our doc to ensure he bathed. Imagine the dude you mentioned but enclosed in a metal tube under the ocean for months at a time.
Shower parties aren’t a thing anymore? In my days scumbags were assisted in their shower by a few larger shipmates and various brushes. It usually only took one to convince them to mind their smell in such cramped quarters.
Post 9/11 there were sweeping changes and a few high visibility hazing incidents that put a hard stop to that kind of bullshit. Not entirely a bad thing but I know what you mean.
“I went to med school for this.”
No, joined the military for it. Could have been back stateside, examining some fat person’s ass or something.
Holy fucking shit. Does he have serious mental illness? I’ve never seen or heard of someone being even remotely like that and not have some form of mental illness. Dude needs some kind of therapy either way, goddamn.
Refusing to do normal human tasks to the point where it interferes with your ability to meet your life goals is sort of definitionally mental illness.
Nope, no mental illness.
Just grew up in a house where it was normalized and unshamed, apparently. Which is why the only thing that can make him “shower” is the doctor visit, under threat of not seeing the doctor/getting refills if he didnt.
Growing up in a house where something unhelpful is normalized is essentially a mental illness. His brain is wired incorrectly for normal social behavior. He could rewire it with a lot of effort and attention. Being unable to do so, or even realize there’s a problem, is part of the illness.
Yeah idc how you spin it bathing 2 times per year and having sheets so dirty they’re black and crack when they move is serious mental illness.
If his home was like that growing up it just means his parents had a mental illness as well.
Yeah, this dude definitely has something wrong with him mentally…
What do you mean he sounds perfectly sane? Doesn’t everyone smell like the ass end of an anime convention?
I think you mean a SSB tournament.
I think it’s important to call most of these stories what they are. They’re not toxic masculinity, they’re homophobia, in the most literal sense of the word.
Edited for clarity
Who are you responding to?
The thread in general. After reading a bunch of the stories, it occurred to me that they are all homophobic. Men engaging in certain behaviors, or avoiding behaviors and activities to avoid being perceived as gay are homophobic. You make a good point though, I edited my response to make it more clear.
I think it’s very much related. Avoid being percieved as gay could be related to gender as well as the set of stereotypical behaviours that are associated with gays. And it could be both.
I think it’s that doing something that’s conceived as “feminine” being gay - say for example caring for your looks. I think the homophobia (and sexism) is an afterthought and the root is toxic masculinity
being attracted to a man is obviously a feminine trait. and we hate everything feminine, did i tell you i hate the woman i confessed my love to and have been married to for 30 years?
/s
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Yeah well let’s be honest a lot of toxic masculinity traits are deeply rooted in homophobia and sexism…
You’d think someone obsessed with masculinity would realize there’s nothing manlier than two dudes fucking.
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The venn diagram of toxic masculinity and homophobia is pretty much a circle.
Edit: fixing my dumbass phone’s autocorrect.
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One time I heard a guy say he wasn’t gonna push a shopping cart cause it was “f***y”. Never understood that. He looked like a real doofus pulling it by the front.
Funny? Funky? Frisky? Feisty? Frosty? What mystery do you hide behind these asterisks?!
My guess would be “faggy”.
Dude couldn’t type it once and you ended up typing it twice. That’s hilarious.
(And yes, I’m a card-carrying gay fag queer homosexual)
We have cards now?
Did you not get on the mailing list?
Yes as soon as someone figures out their sexuality they have to apply for a government ID declaring their sexuality, it’s like a driver’s license but it’s for sex. A sexuality license. That’s where they formally declare their pronouns too.
Like a bundle of sticks! Like a pack of ciggies!
My guess would be “faggy”.
I know, I know, but I really don’t like to use that word even in context. It’s the bad word for gay that also means bundle of sticks… y.
I really thought it was “fruity”. I guess it seems obvious in retrospect. Neither is great but, yeah, that one is worse…
I wish i didn’t know.
My guess would be “agg”
I worked in retail for 8 years and I occasionally pull from the front too out of habit. It gives you more notice with people when approaching aisles. I don’t see the connection to it being more manly though.
Wear a covid mask. Sounds simple, but the issue was everywhere. You could say it was history’s most destructive example of toxic masculinity, especially when the protests kicked off and people were (and still do) denying any damage had been occurring due to that.
I made a big deal when it happened because I for one hate dress codes, yet dress codes were and still are somehow fine and something you’re not allowed to argue against, all the while something that was actually practical as well as small was like peoples’ kryptonite, so I remain in a lowkey boycott over dress codes if the business was apathetic to antiviral measures.
Is that really an example of toxic masculinity? A LOT of Karens shrieked about having to wear them.
It was the reason for some guys, for sure. The same crowd who refuse to wear safety glasses under any circumstances were pretty anti-mask.
Seatbelts
One of my idiot uncles cut the seatbelt out of his car.
oh god, and the same people end up almost deaf by 40. i wear hearing protection to almost every public event.
Safety glasses actually work, the face rags were security blankets. And I’m not claiming N95s did nothing, i know they helped. literal cloth rags don’t stop fuck all, they can’t even stop dust, ask anyone ever tried that method for shoveling grain.
They seem to help surgeons, what was the difference?
Surgeons change them every 20 minutes, and it’s not to help them.
Then why wear something, if it’s actually the opposite of help, especially during something crucial like surgery?
Read that again, captain strawman
For a lot of people it seemed that way. Seeing a protest of Canadian truck drivers who didn’t want to wear the “face diapers” made it seem like they were acting on an outright masculine honor culture. It’s something that softened my previous view that Canada was living under an unlucky streak of bad authority. Now I look at them and think “well no wonder”.
Being too ashamed to tell people I couldn’t swim as a kid in situations that seriously could have ended in me drowning.
Reminds me of this macho guy
It was almost that absurd.
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