I date/have sex with who I’m physically attracted to. Otherwise I’m OK if we just stay (non-sexual) friends. Us having stuff in common doesn’t make me horny for them or want to romance them.
If we have nothing in common because of an age gap, then the sexual relationship becomes a reason to learn about them. As long as we agree with each other on politics.
That said I have no expectations, admittedly atm all I’ve been getting is one night stands every once in a while and I’d like deeper relationships (I’m poly). But fuck maybe I just wont get one. shrugs I’ll just keep trying until I get one.
And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.
They have nothing in common. There’s no way. It’s pure physical attraction above all else.
Or both sides like to learn from each other and grow towards each other over time?
There are worse reasons why an extreme age gap is seen as creepy, “not knowing each others interests” is not one of them.
I’m 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.
Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.
Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.
Half your age + 7 is a reasonable formula for determining creep factor.
Acquaintances/Friends and “dating” are not the same.
What if you like having sex with your friends?
I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.
That’s the mindset of plenty of people at 25 or 30 even. I think personal development/priorities are to blame more so than the age gap
I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)
I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn’t interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.
This is the best relationship I’ve ever had but I won’t deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it’s like to have a boyfriend in the city.
Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was. The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.
I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30’s, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.
The brainrot is real, even with “old hags”. My ex was 3 years younger than me, but she was an avid tiktok scroller. I was often being shown and taught about new “memes” that everyone promptly forgot about by the next week.
What does that mean ? mid fr fr ? doesn’t fr mean for real ?
Mid must mean “underwhelming”
And big mood ? that’s very obscure
I think big mood is a relatable mindset
people both younger and older than me talk like this and I just want to go anywhere else every time I hear it
No cap
ong
I once made the mistake of dating someone 12 years younger than me (she was 25). Man, what a mistake, nevermind the cultural differences, her emotional maturity was…intolerable, and this from a person I’d considered a friend for a year already. It was the first and last time iv ever done that.
OP doesn’t understand what cultural progression is. Of course different people gonna do stuff differently as time progresses, the class she was when you where in high school is just irrelevant.
This is the case where op just has skill issue, and is stuck in the past like a boomer he is.
When you call someone born in the late 1990s a boomer though. It might be “hip” or “trendy” to do. But Boomers were born in the 50s man. Young kids calling adults from different generations “Boomers” just makes you sound like you didn’t pay attention in history class.
Born in the 1900s? What’d you do before they invented fire? Ride dinos?
Ironic…
Can’t fathom calling a 28 year old a hag 💀
It’s a similar joke to calling 30-yos boomers
My man just wants to fuck children.
Late-stage brainrot
You haven’t seen the 28 year olds Anon dates
They’re 48 in crackhead years.
Meth does some wild shit to a person’s looks but heroin addicts can look just as fucking gnarly
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I’m 34 dating a 25 year old myself. Which I checked, it passes the “Half your age plus 7” test
(34 / 2 = 17 + 7 = 24) Sometimes I still feel weird about it though
I’m just a bit older, but been there.
I could never get past it though. I have a daughter too, and it really just takes one experience where they really remind you of your kid and… yeah, I don’t think I can do this y’all.
“My girlfriend did this test and I think its broken? Her minimum age is higher than her starting age”
@ 30 22 feels waaay too damn young. tf am I even gonna talk to this person about? I’m a decade in to a high stress high reliability industry. I’m starting to get
Greggrey hairs! I make jokes about all the child rapists I met while working for the state! Too much happened in that 8 years between us. Too damn much.God damn it Greg!
When did we as a society give up on the “½ X +7” minimum dating age formula?
Probably about the time that we decided that a certain age means you’re an adult and can, in fact, make decisions for yourself
When we decided to mind our own business and stop moralizing other people’s relationships based on our personal feelings.
Exactly, this “rule” is really just equivalent to other forms of snake oil there is. It is baseless and completely made up.
Found Leo’s account.
Seriously though why so hostile about this? Of course it’s made up, it’s a general rule of thumb, and it describes whether people are likely to look at a couple and say, “ew”.
What’s interesting is this rule apparently originated from the early 1900s.
Just FYI, this rule falls apart after a certain age (in the 60s or 70s).
Nah I think it holds up. Bill Belichick, 73, was in the news for dating a 24 year old and it’s not only as creepy and gross, but also like she’s taking advantage of him by inserting herself into his interviews.
If he were dating a 43 year old, I don’t think anyone would be nearly as concerned.
That’s not the only thing that falls apart in your seventies, eyyyy
This reminder me for some reason of how my grandfather cheated on his wife a few years ago and had a heart attack during sex. He’s like 80 or so.
When you have heart procedures/ surgery, they tell you, “no sex for 6 weeks with your spouse, 8 weeks with anyone else.” Theres science backing up the extra strain/excitement of having sex with someone else
But honey, the doctor said I could have sex with other women if I waited 8 weeks after the surgery, so it’s not cheating!
Gotta look after your ticker if you’re going to stay active at that age. Condolences and/or congrats to his wife though.
Sigh, ain’t that the truth.
I mean, once you’re both above 30 who fucking cares
After that age, the older party is essentially a lottery ticket
laughs in Medicaid
Wow that actually makes sense.
But then again, I’m born 1994, there’s not so many I can actually date. I have like 1990 - 1998 available, and they must be an only child or have siblings within that age as well, otherwise the interests are not overlapping enough to spend time together: those younger are TikTok addicted, those older are Facebook-relicts. I’m in limbo where I know all of that but don’t like anything.
Edit: to those who downvoted, why?
…those younger are TikTok addicted, those older are Facebook-relicts.
You’re being very assuming with people and that’s why the downvotes.
Not every person will be “TikTok addicted” or “Facebook-relicts”, you’re just assuming they are which is only affecting your own chances finding someone.
Try just getting to know someone first before you start assuming about their interests or what they do.
… and they must be an only child or have siblings within that age as well, otherwise the interests are not overlapping enough to spend time together…
Who says you have to spend time with your SO’s siblings for any great length of time? Parties and holidays you can get through, but it’s not like you’re going to go live with the family.
You and your SO should both have your own friends and hobbies (in addition to joint friends/hobbies). I’m not trying to crap on having a relationship with your SO’s family, just that it’s not mandatory.
I feel like removing these two arbitrary requirements would vastly increase your dating pool. I get that people are looking for traits in a potential partner (doesn’t smoke / drinks / poly / not-poly / uses Arch) but the ones you’ve picked are just self limiting
The clumsy portmanteau of facebook and derelicts if I had to guess. That one is just dreadful. Go with Facebougoise or something, The Faceborg maybe (I actually like that one), something like that.
to those who downvoted, why?
Because of this part:
they must be an only child or have siblings within that age as well, otherwise the interests are not overlapping enough to spend time together
Just for a little context, the minimum age being ((your age / 2)+7) is meant to be “this is the minimum age of someone you can date without it being creepy” (i believe it originated from the TV show how i met your mother)
If you were born in 1994 you are either 30 or 31. Let’s call it 30 for easy math.
30/2 = 15 15+7=22
So anyone who is 22 or older fits the minimum age concept, which is anyone born in approx 2002/2003 or earlier. If you decided to include that, the extra 4-5 years does increase the dating pool quite a bit.
I’m not telling you who to date, just giving a little context to the math since that’s what was brought up in the original comment.
Edit: Lots of folks chiming in with some really good insight about the history of the math. Thank you all for that!
Although the historical accounts seem to be math for the “ideal age” in a (probably female) partner and not “minimum age before it’s creepy” as it was presented in HIMYM, it’s really interesting to see how that equation has been used for over 100 years!
No one knows the true origin of the idea but there’s a number of examples that predate how I met your mother by over a hundred years.
The first published example is Max O’Rell in Her Royal Highness, Woman: And His Majesty—Cupid from 1901
I heard the other day a very good piece of advice, which I should like to repeat here, as I endorse it thoroughly : A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven. Try it at whatever age you like, and you will find it works very well, taking for granted all the while that, after all, a man as well as a woman is the age that he looks and feels.
Interesting stuff thanks for adding. I added an edit to address. Appreciate you chiming in
Interesting, though this sounds like it’s not supposed to be the minimum age, but the ideal age.
It had to be a thing before how I met your mother, I remember it being a thing during school in the 80-90’s
Totally fair, lots of folks have chimed in about it. Really interesting to see it’s over 100 years old (although more focused on ideal partner, not avoiding being creepy)
(i believe it originated from the TV show how i met your mother)
Although the provenance of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes said to have originated in France.[81] The rule appears in John Fox Jr.'s 1903 novel The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come,[84] in American newspapers in 1931 attributed to Maurice Chevalier,[85] and in The Autobiography of Malcolm X, attributed to Elijah Muhammad.[86]
In many early sources, the rule was primarily presented as a formula to calculate the ideal age of a female partner at the beginning of a heterosexual relationship. Frederick Locker-Lampson’s Patchwork from 1879 states the opinion “A wife should be half the age of her husband with seven years added.”[87] Max O’Rell’s Her Royal Highness Woman from 1901 gives the rule in the format “A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven.”[88]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships
See I didn’t know that was the origin. I like it better as an outside boundary.
That’s really interesting, thanks for sharing!
Invert this rule to get the maximum age you can date (defined as the person whose minimum age is your current age):
min age = (your age / 2) + 7 max age = (your age * 2) - 14
If you’re 30, then you can reasonably date people between 22 and 46. So the other guy can add even more years before 1990.
Also, for the maximum age they are the younger one. So assuming age is 30, substract 7 and multiply the outcome by 2, maximum date age is 46…
I have not heard someone say “big mood” in years
Anon’s girl is already falling behind
i say it al the time lol
Big mood!
I actually vibe more with the generations after me than my own; but I would find it creepy myself to be with someone who isn’t relatively close to my own age.
Anon isn’t down skibidi style
Getting head while on the toilet?
He doesn’t know
Nothing ever changes.
