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no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

I know it's one of you guys

lemmy.world

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I know it's one of you guys

lemmy.world

no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I know it’s a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he’d get flamed

    • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they’re done.

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        My ex would disagree as she’d leave hers lying out even when we had company over.

        We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.

        Don’t use conditioner guys!!!

        For the 4th time (I’m an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don’t know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It’s painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.

        Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.

        Don’t use conditioner guys!!!

        • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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          2 years ago

          What in the bed bath and beyond is this shit

        • Herbal Gamer@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          Are you sure that’s conditioner and not bleach?

        • dingus@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Even if you accidentally use conditioner instead of lube, there’s no way it will make the skin of your dick turn black and fall off. It’ll irritate your skin sure, but that won’t happen.

          One of two things must actually actually be happening…

          1. You’re using the conditioner lube to fuck something like sandpaper or a sex toy that is literally set on fire

          2. You’ve confused conditioner with something like lye or hydrochloric acid

          For the love of Christ, get your shit checked out

      • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        When my sister and I lived with my parents our shower broke for a bit so we had to use my parents’ shower for a few days. Guess who forgot to take their dildo out of there… It was my sister not me but lucky for her and unlucky for me, my parents never clarified so they’ll just think what they will.

    • scottywh@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      A shower dildo left there to be found? No… that’d be fuckin weird too

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I’ve covered that aspect already in other comment chains.

        Also this picture is clearly a joke. You wouldn’t be able to actually use that to masturbate as the hole would grow rapidly. You’d have to lather your hands first using either bar or liquid soap.

        Yeah jamming your dick into a solid bar of soap is gonna cause a lot of issues. The one I’d imagine being the first to worry about is your dick getting bruised cause bar soap ain’t exactly soft

        • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          What if you make the hole and then soapy fidget spinner?

          • Herbal Gamer@sh.itjust.works
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            2 years ago

            Now we’re getting somewhere.

            • ghostdoggtv@lemmy.world
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              2 years ago

              And that’s how hula hoops are made!

              🤮

    • Ledivin@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      If it was a dildo sculpted out of soap, we’d have the exact same replies as here.

  • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Stupid. This dude has the cleanest dick in the country.

    “Eew this penis is too clean to go inside my body” that’s what this whiny bitch sounds like.

    No, they totally SHOULD leave. They are clearly too filthy for this CLEAN KING.

    • FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      “yeah baby you like my baby smooth dick?”

    • nonplayablecharacter7334@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      CLEAN KINGS RISE UP.

      YOU DROPPED THIS KING 👑 🧼 👀

      • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        > Implication: dropped soap
        > Implication: you picked it up
        > Implication: and you did it for him

        B A S E D

  • Pinklink@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    That’s just a handhold so you don’t drop it

  • 100_percent_a_bot@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “It’s a part of me and I can wash it however fast I like!"

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Or long… Or hard… 😏

  • saltnotsugar@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Look, if there’s a more subtle cock soap, I’m all ears.

    • icerunner_origin@startrek.website
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      2 years ago

      If you’re all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?

      • jaybone@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        You don’t have to propose, you can just keep it casual.

  • MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    How else are you suppose to clean it?

  • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Innocent, I’m not that big.

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 years ago

      Stop bragging, I can’t even afford soap

      • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I can spell that from my instance.

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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          2 years ago

          Yeah spelling is easy if you’re on the right instance

          • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            Lol just saw the typo

  • arthurpizza@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    At least it’s clean.

  • ohlaph@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I didn’t know that was an option.

  • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
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    Soap is abrasive. His dick fucked up.

    • voracitude@lemmy.world
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      It’s not that it’s abrasive, though some soaps do have abrasives in them for “exfoliation” and that is also bad for the dick. The problem is that it strips all the oils from your skin, and oil is what keeps skin stretchy. You fuck a bar of soap (or use soap as lube, whatever) it’ll strip all the oils off your genitals and then the minute the skin goes to stretch (like if you’re fucking, or masturbating, or get aroused) - RRRRIPPPP, microtears and friction burns everywhere.

  • ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Soap on a rope, but slipped off the rope?

  • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Chill he was just blowing bubbles

    • johker216@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      He also knows Bubbles? Small world!

      • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Hi, I’m Bubbles.

      • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Your browser does not support playing HTML5 video. You can download a copy of the video file instead.

  • KISSmyOS@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    How else are you gonna tie the rope to it?

    • JustMy2c@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      The butt cleaning rope?

  • BuffLemmyworlder@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    His penis will burn from that

    • Koordinator O@lemmy.world
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      you talking out of experience? 😏

    • Arthur_Leywin@lemmy.world
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      Not if he’s cleaning the foreskin.

      • BuffLemmyworlder@lemmy.world
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        I suppose you could say that hypothetically

    • Enzy@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Ever tried perfume free soap?

      • BuffLemmyworlder@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        No

  • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I just have one question,

    What did you do with the rest of the sculpted butter bust we had made for grandma’s wake?

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