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ickplant@lemmy.world to cats@lemmy.world · 2 days ago

Thieving

lemmy.world

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Thieving

lemmy.world

ickplant@lemmy.world to cats@lemmy.world · 2 days ago
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  • gac11@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    “Khajiit has wares, if you have coin.”

  • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    No. He didn’t steal. He is a mighty hunter. Yes he is. Yes he is! He hunted down the mighty sausage beast, stalked it, and killed it all on his own. Yes he did! Yes he did! And he did murder while being so adorable! Yes he is. Yes he is!

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      That’s a helluva tale for a neighbor that likely just gave him one

      • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        All cats believe in their hearts that they are mighty lions and tigers. Let them have this. :D

        • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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          5 hours ago

          I mean, to any creature that weighs 3 pounds or less, he’s right. If you’re a field mouse a house cat is a terrifyingly effective predator.

          More tuna are eaten by house cats than lions.

          • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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            5 hours ago

            Well, according to my cats, they get the tuna because they killed the tuna. They are the mighty hunters after all.

            • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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              4 hours ago

              My cat just finds the nearest big idiot to yell at. That’s usually me.

    • iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 days ago

      Honestly, if a cat was super interested in one of my bratwurst, I’d give them a present lol probably one I’d let cool for some time too, so it’s not too hot for them.

      I have a feeling this kitty made some friends, but wouldn’t put it past them to snag it haha. My mom’s cat used to take all the dog toys in the neighborhood and everyone knew just to come to the door to ask for them back lol

      Edit: “if” not “of”

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        I’d probably cut it in half or something. That’s one bigass meal.

        • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          Also probably way more salt than a cat should really have, sausages are (usually) loaded with the stuff to not, y’know, kill you with bacteria.

          • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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            22 hours ago

            and taste good, we need a whole lot more salt than cats do since we’re so much bigger and sweat a bunch.

    • rustydrd@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      For some reason, I’m reading this in John Oliver’s voice.

  • rustydrd@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    “Quick, let me in, they’re right on my tail!”

    • Aimeeloulm@feddit.uk
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      2 days ago

      You almost had me believing this unti I remembered he had a sausage in his mouth, so how could he talk :o/

      • PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space
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        2 days ago

        The Garfield way, of course.

        • AceBonobo@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Assuming direct control of Jon

          • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 day ago

            Garfield Minus Garfield is the best Garfield. CMM.

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        22 hours ago

        i’m very confused what the slash under the emote means, is it dabbing?

        • btr_fan87@lemmy.world
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          6 hours ago

          Maybe the o is a nose and the slash is the mouth? Like how “:-)” uses three characters.

  • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    Good cat

  • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    Hmm, not a single “no outdoor cats” comment in this whole thread (yet.)

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      NextDoor doesn’t know how to log on… yet.

  • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    The furry little god pulled a Ferris Bueller and got away with it.

    Legend.

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Furris Mueller?

      • qisope@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Ferris Mewler

        • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 day ago

          That’s what I said, but with more furor.

    • exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?

  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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    2 days ago

    Greatest day of his life. He will remember this forever.

  • Zwiebel@feddit.org
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    2 days ago

    A neighbors cat once yoinked a hole steak from the table with it’s paw xD

    • Screamium@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      “a hole steak”

      D:

      • Default Username@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        Yeah, no need to censor the word “asshole”.

        • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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          1 day ago

          Calamari ass rings chef’s kiss

          • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 day ago

            You know the chef is sending a message when your calamari includes the hunting hooks. 😵‍💫

      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        A small cross section of a tube steak, obviously

  • renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf
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    2 days ago

    Could’ve been a gift

    • Annoyed_🦀 @lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      There’s no collar on the cat, that’s very likely.

      In other word oop have good neighbour.

    • glitch1985@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Barter.

  • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    Now you just gotta teach him/her to team up with the local corvids. 🤌🏼

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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      5 hours ago

      As a kid I had the genius idea of training magpies to steal stuff and bring it to me thinking it was the perfect crime; can’t arrest a bird and the bird is who stole. But then I learned that is actually still illegal. 😔

      • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 hour ago

        Illegal =/= enforceable, FWIW.

  • ErrorCode@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Good kitty!

  • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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    1 day ago

    They also bring the carbon and salt(?)!

  • dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 days ago

    Then there’s me like: Oh a cat. Here Kitty Kitty. You want a sausage? And there he goes. He’s probably afraid of humans.

  • humanspiral@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    peak cat. Mine brings yukky mangled mice and birds.

    • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Well if you would just demonstrate that you know how to catch and kill your own, she could relax about trying to teach you.

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      You should send them to school with the orcas.

  • katy ✨@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    it’s polite to bring something to a potluck

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