I used to work in a new age shop that sold rock salt lamps. A woman came in one time to complain about the lamp she bought.
Woman: My salt lamp was dusty and dirty.
Me: Okay…
W: So I took the rock salt off the base.
Me: Hmm?
W: And I washed it with hot soapy water.
Me: Ah.
W: And it just dissolved!
Me: Yep, it’s salt.
W: I want a refund.
Me: laughs.
This has me wondering if art supply stores have people coming in complaining that their pencil ran out of lead when they were in the middle of drawing.
Yes, I have seen that first hand. Crayons too.
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Stop
Stop
STOP
STOP
STOP STOP STOP
WHY THE FUCK WILL YOU NOT STOP
my ass is installing linux on the first machine capable of having linux installed on it.
You are not safe, there is nothing you can do to stop me.
Your tinder date brings you into their home. While they are having a shower, you grab their laptop to install Linux mint cinnamon on it, but the Ventoy ISO wont boot. The track pad is greasy and crusted up with yellow stuff. Screen hinge is cracked. You boot it up to get your bearings. Windows XP, service pack 1. No password. 1 GB RAM. 32 bit CPU. Super PC clean is running. Blatant malware. No antivirus in sight. Internet Explorer 6 lumbers to the foreground. Fifteen spyware toolbars visible. Popups start flooding the screen. You look at the desktop, its littered with zip files with random file names. The mouse cursor is a pirate with a wooden leg. The CPU fan loudens to an alarming volume even though there’s no programs running that you can see.
Do you:
-
Continue and try to install a 32 bit version of linux
-
leave silently, unmatch them on tinder, and block their number
-
Leave, but not before performing a mercy killing on the laptop
leave, performing a mercy kill on the laptop.
No associate of mine is going to be using windows xp.
-
Nobody has ported Doom to a Himalayan salt lamp.
Yet.
This is your opportunity!one step at a time my friend, one step at a time…
There’s a decent chance that’s still the salt lamp.
as long as i can make it do my bidding for me!
Fuck that’s hot
free and open source software is inherently sexy!
The toilet!
THIS is a classic.
I feel bad for people who have never licked a Himalayan Salt Lamp.
Yum.
Skin cells, dust mite shit and animal hairs.
Oh boy wait until you hear about breathing.
I find breathing to be better than not breathing.
Not licking the Himalayan salt lamp does not have the same effect.
Yeah but you can breath any time. This might be your last chance to lick that lamp EVER
It might be the last chance to try to insert the Himalayan salt lamp into your dick hole too.
But why would you do that
Like the old saying, anything is a sounding rod if you’re not a pussy.
Smell is based mostly on particulate. Anything you inhale gets at least partly broken down and absorbed.
Thus, if you smell a fart, at least some small part of your body is metabolising someone else’s shit.
Deep down I’ve always known this
Why does it never taste like salt?
And why do I keep trying?!?
I think you got a dud. It absolutely should taste salty
I would rather check under the bed in case there are knives.
Yeah if there are no knives we ain’t fuckin
If you go to someone’s house and they don’t have an elaborate and named knife collection that they’re oddly cagey about, don’t fuck them
Why would I be cagey about my odd, elaborate and named knife collection? I’ve had most of those knives longer than I’ve known my wife. They’re great. Not very much blood at all.
Gold karambit means she’s wife material
no that means she’s a csgo character
Are all of you cows
Some may be horses
I am an Alpine Ibex scaling near vertical slopes just to lick that salt lamp.
I’m a hamster (they lick salt too) 👅🧂
Don’t they eat their babies too?
ಠ_ಠ
…yeah, but only sometimes
Only if they’re feeling snacky
I had never seen a hamster lick anything until today. You’ve enriched my life!
Moooo I mean NO of course not
Si, y tengo dos
A whole lot of thise lamps are in my area so I dont understand why we still have a hospital
But my salt lamp is in my bathroom.
Hmm, now I wonder, if the lamp would slowly ‘melt’, from damp air condensing on it.
ew poop particles every time they flush
poop lamp poop lamp poop lamp poop lamp
Sadly, some are plastic…
Right I’m confused.
You’re in the bedroom but they go to the restroom
Which fucking one are they in?
I’m in my kitchen right now
ok
now im in my living room
how are you handling that?
You don’t live in your kitchen
You don’t rest in your toilet
Unless, like I say, throwing a whitey
oh I finally get what you’re saying. You’re taking issue with calling that room “rest” room instead of “toilet”
but seeing as “toilet” literally means “a small piece of cloth” - if we’re going to go down that path, why are you calling both the room and it’s commode a piece of cloth?
You’ve never seen a bedroom with an attached restroom?
I’ve never seen anyone rest on a toilet
Wait, no, I have done while throwin a whitey
They earn a dollar while I earn a dime that’s why I shit on company time.
Congrats for always having had good bosses.
restroom == bathroom
So there has to be a bath in it? Is that not inconvenient?
The place with the toilet that you poop in.
The toilet! Gotcha!
It’s the room where you rest your butt to poop. The restroom.
It’s where I rest my brain from the stupid at work. Being able to sit on a nasty commode with my nethers exposed is a bonus.
There are many reasons toilets are called the restroom dated back in history. However these days it’s mostly just considered a polite way of taking care of one’s business, without projecting to a partner that you may be taking a massive duce.
are you not familiar with houses having attached bathrooms in the master bedroom?
Its a thing here in NA for suburban homes, and for houses in europe to some degree im guessing.
