This is not a full English due to the following issues or errors:
- Fried eggs are ideal, poached acceptable, and some oddballs like scrambled. Boiled egg is not acceptable. There should be two eggs as standard, more if the breakfast is a ‘large’.
- It’s missing baked beans, which should have been simmered until the sauce thickens into a syrup.
- While cafes love to serve this kind of tomato that’s only because it’s easy to keep a pot of chopped, tinned tomatoes warm. If you’re going tinned, they should be good quality whole plum tomatoes. But well-grilled fresh tomatoes are preferable. No cherries. No vine attached. Definitely no raw tomato.
- It’s missing the black pudding which elevates the humble fry-up into the glory that is a proper full English.
- Experienced afficionados of the full English almost all prefer cooked sausages over raw ones.
- The mushrooms look like they came in a tin. Ideally whole field or chestnut mushrooms shoud be used.
- There seems to be a lack of hot buttered toast (with optional marmelade).
There is hearty debate amongst the governing body of the full English about whether or not hash browns are acceptable on a breakfast. Many declare them to be unwanted compared to, for example, bubble and squeak or a tattie scone, or even fried potatoes, or a fried slice for that matter. They go further and label them ‘trash browns’, ‘American nonsense’, or just ‘shite’. Personally I don’t mind them, and consider them to be an optional addition, but not a core requirement of the full English. There are many other optional additions, not to mention regional specialities which render an Ulster fry very different to a full Welsh or a full Scottish. Hogs pudding, white pudding, fruit pudding, haggis, Lorne sausage, potato farl, soda bread, laverbread, kidneys, etc.
There is also a hugely spirited disagreement over the serving of baked beans. There are, by-and-large, three schools of thought with regards the beans (not counting those poor,deluded fools who don’t like them). Firstly there’s the ‘put the beans in a pot’ faction who are scared of bean juice contaminating other ingredients. Secondly there are those who eschew the ramekin, considering them to be one of the ultimate signs of pretention. They insist that the beans should be on the plate, but segregated from the other ingredients by a barrier of sausages. Lastly, there is the sane and balanced group who believe that the beans should be put on the plate with no barrier, ideally in the middle. This group of illuminated Full Monty enjoyers recognise that the mixing of bean juice, tomato juice, and egg yolk forms the most perfect gravy of the gods. I, myself, am in the latter camp.
I am available for for keynote speeches on the subject should anyone be organising a full English conference.
This is poetry. If you ever do a Ted talk please let me know.
A long time ago I was in old Blighty for the first time for work and the locals took care of me foodwise. I remember getting all the usual “English food is terrible” remarks before going and I didn’t know any better so I was worried when I arrived.
Everything was delicious, I loved all of it. The full English especially, that could power you through supper.
You rarely have a full English followed by a heavy lunch. More likely a heavy nap.
Love that you took the time to write this out as a comment on a shitpost. That’s dedication!
Some things matter!
Cooked? Looks more like raw ingredients.
Was that /s ? You can see the cooking marks on the meats, potatoes are crispy, egg is obviously cooked, the tomatoes may have started out a whole tomatoes; you typically roast them in the oven till they are ready to pop open. But may canned tomatoes in this image.
looks… raw…
No one talking about a Fucking boiled egg?
That alone indicates the trolling nature of the post.
The utter lack of seasoning make me think this is authentic.
The seasoning is the bacon grease this all cooks in. Besides salt and pepper for the egg, that’s generally all this needs.
Heat is classified as a seasoning now.
I mean, it kind of can be
Didn’t use enough of that either. Only the bacon looks like it has seen a grill or pan.
What sort of seasoning would you require on sausages or mushrooms…?
I understand that the shrooms in a full English are usually just this way, but literally speaking you can season the shit out of mushrooms with all sorts of flavorings.
The place we used to get breakfast (they had a big breakfast with double everything!) started putting herbs in the mushrooms. Absolute shite and ruined them.
You can but often you don’t because they’re delish as is
Always can add some brown sauce.
“Choccy brekky holibobs” -> 🗑️
I see no problems with cooking meals with sunlight. (…as we say here in the solarpunk instance)
However, I do see the practical limitations what comes to attempting to cook meals with sunlight in the UK. I have heard the weather is often not favourable.
You need a lot of mirrors and/or lenses to cook something using sunlight. Unless you’re in Arizona, then just stick your skillet out the window.
Yeah with good luck you could have enough energy, but… who’s gonna ever rely on the sun being available when you’re hungry?
Solar panels, sure, as they’re there all the time, and not just when youre hungry.
But solar cooking, yeah, not so much at these latitudes
And if the sun don’t come
you get a tan from
standing in the English rainI’m not English but I thought there should be toast and beans. The sausage looks anemic.
Also not British… Boiled egg? 🤔
Seems like something they’d do.
Thats a good roast.
Come on, that’s a Full English Breakfast, not a Roast.
DONT RUIN MY DOUBLE ENTENDRE WITH YOUR TRUTHS AND FACTS
nah probably cooked with a hair dryer
They placed it under the car with the engine running for five minutes
And it’s an EV
Boiled, I’d assume
Chuck it in the oven for ten minutes, no drama at all.
Then pre-book the following day off work with a dodgy stomach.
Currently in London on vacation, can confirm that most of the items served to me in the full English breakfast I had were barely cooked, the corned beef was cold out of a can. Do not recommend.
Corned beef? Sounds like they were playing a trick on the tourist.
Monty Python has led me to expect Spam.
“Baked beans are off.” “Could I have Spam instead…”
Corned beef? What in Gods name would that be doing in a Full English? A proper Full English is served scalding hot on a plate that’s nearly glowing red. The egg is fried and has brown crispy bits, the bacon fat is browned but the meat is tender and the sausages are anything between brown and dark brown. The beans, well, if you aren’t mad you ask for it without those because they’re disgusting. The bread should be either toasted & buttered or fried in the bacon fat. Deranged people will add HP sauce or, heaven forbid, tomato ketchup, but it is best to offer such people pity and support in the hope that they will one day recover.
I’m from the countryside in north of England and have lived in London at points for many years of my life. London is generally the worst for proper British food, in my experience. The best fry ups, fish and chips and all that you’re gunna get is in small towns or villages where the place itself is bare bones and no frills. Far cheaper too
That said, I’ll of course take most other cuisine over our own. I do like foods that require a good amount of seasoning and some actual spice. Our cuisine is really helped by those too as I see it. But most people here seem to draw the line at black pepper, sadly
Wtf? Corned beef? Are you in one of the American cities that are named London rather than the capital of the uk?
Nah, not enough high fructose corn syrup.
I wish, the chip shops on the other hand have been great.
Chip shops in London are shit. Most don’t even bother to remove the skin and bones, and the batter is wet. It’s like they’re doing it on purpose.
Lol did you accidentally search for something like ‘where to get the worst English breakfast in London’?
Did you get it from a fancy place or a greasy spoon?
My sister who lives in London took us to The Full Monty Cafe for the meal.
That’s a shame, that place looks good!
Criminal. Not even 5th English.
Everybody hated it
