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My trick for dealing with “blushing bladder” is a Palovian response on myself. I realized I had certain pee triggers. Long story short, there are certain places and situations that cause me to need to urinate. So I figured why not use a word as a trigger? While at home I began saying the trigger word just as I felt the flow begin. Every time I pee, I say the word. My blushing bladder went away. Some of the music venues i frequent have urinals literally elbow to elbow so it’s awkward but there’s no trouble when I say the trigger word. The only problem now is people look at me weird when I’m looking at my dick saying “shazam”.
I do the same type of thing, but I just swish saliva around in my mouth. For some reason that gets my mind off it and next thing I know, I’m peeing.
I read on reddit one time—years and years ago—that doing simple multiplication can help occupy the part of your brain keeping you from pissing. A sequence like 2x2=4, 4x4=16, 16x16=256…etc.
I’ve been doing that ever since, and it really helps. Usually by the time I get to doing 16x16 in my head, I’m already peeing.
This cartoon can’t exist. Urinal etiquette requires:
That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.
I agree with all of this except the “always go to the nearest urinal.” I don’t think it matters which you go to as long as you follow the pattern that allows for the maximum number of urinals to be filled while leaving a one-urinal gap between you and the next person.
Let me explain:
🚽 = urinal, 🚹 = person peeing
You have the following setup:
🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽
Correct urinal to occupy:
🚹 | 🚽 | 🚽 OR 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚹
Incorrect:
🚽 | 🚹 | 🚽
Notice how the correct solution allows for a second urinal to be occupied while still maintaining the courtesy urinal between. The incorrect solution doesn’t.
And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
I usually go to the one closest to the wall. It seems comfier
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I’m not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I’m pissing. I have shit to say
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I’m not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I’m pissing. I have shit to say
I’d also like to say that some of the funniest things I’ve ever heard have been uttered by a random at a urinal.
There are plenty of dudes at the bars and ballgames who try to sneak a peak
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You are either a republican or a pervy pervert.
./
Might be both
You’re kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.
You must spend a fair amount of time in bars to be so wise. Bars and even restaurants have limited floor space so they can often have just one urinal and you wait your turn. And I have never had anyone even try to talk to me in a bar or restaurant restroom. Why would they? We are there to drink and eat, not discuss philosophy.
You have not peed in enough bars, friend. Once the conversational juices get flowing, people sometimes follow you in to the toilet to keep the conversation going.
Truthfully, I have very seldom hung out in fancy clubs or bars. The places I have hung out in, if you followed someone into the restroom just to talk to them, you would have gotten the shit beat out of you and barred from ever coming back.
Well. This comic certainly isn’t making it easier.
Why are you reading comics at the urinal while you’re trying to pee?
It helps me relax. Usually.
HEY @[email protected] IS JUST HOLDING HIS WEENER
Actually, that’s a totally different jerkface.
I went with autocomplete in Voyager on iOS and didn’t think anything of it at the time. Sorry for the false accusation, I doubt you are just holding your weener
It’s a statistical likelihood.
And a phone.
Urinals should definitely exist because they speed things up a ton. If you’re too shy to piss into a urinal just go to the shitter instead. But don’t dare try to take the speed and convenience away from the rest of us, goddammit!
Where else is my uncle going to tell me what should have happened at state if he got first string?
There are also flushness urinals which use zero fresh water, just a floating, replenishable barrier fluid. I want one at home.
Most I see these days are the flushless ones of one sort or other. Some of them have a bit of a smell but doesn’t bother me since what do you expect, it’s an urinal
Is this comment ironic?
I’ll be honest — I think they should exist. The piss shy phase is short and universal… but we all get over it.
No I’m serious about liking urinals
Okay. It had a lot of upvotes so I thought it was ironic as there is a movement in my city to stealth eradicate urinals. Every remodel now replaces urinals with stalls… some leave one stall so there isn’t backlash.
I’ve seen it happen too. Some consider stalls nicer and more accommodating (not just to shy pee’ers) and that’s fine. I just dislike how it makes the wait a lot longer.
But could be worse, they could’ve made them gender neutral. Now that makes the wait long hah.
Oh… I’ll confess: a feminine looking person avoids the three open urinals to my right an uncomfortably be-lines to the stalls and suddenly I can’t pee at all. Yeah… good times.
THANK YOU!
Do you think that you need to pull your pants all the way down and sit to use a toilet to pee, if not what are you doing in the stall that wastes a ton more time? It’s not much slower from my experience just do it the way you would a urinal, with the only difference being that you have a door and real walls.
The speed comes from space efficiency. Instead of one stall you can have three urinals (idk the conversion rate, but you get the point)
You can fit more urinals in the same place as stalls…
When buffalo wild wings put small TVs infront of every urinal I think pee times must have increased, haha. I agree urinals speed things along through.
The movie ‘Waiting’ has a character whose entire arc is them trying to get over urinal anxiety while working one crazy shift at an Applebee’s clone.
Early Ryan Reynolds. Some of the humor hasn’t aged well, but it shines a light on the service industry for those that haven’t worked in a kitchen/bar/restaurant.
“Waiting” is the most authentic movie about working in a restaurant as a waiter there ever was.
It’s so true.
Just don’t shake it more than twice while its in your hand and the police needn’t be involved
No matter how many times you shake it, the last drop will still end in your pants
Tust du schütteln oder stoßen - der letzte Tropfen geht in’d Hosen. Ancient German proverb.
Press up on your taint. Helps much!
Are you not into taints!?
No not in to your taint, on your taint.
Why is this post full of people who are seemingly overtly defensive over the idea of urinals? Did I miss something? The comic is a joke. Every other poster here trying to make sure everyone knows they can and will always use a urinal. An ode of fragile masculinity.
Did I miss something?
Sounds like you missed the toilet OOOOOHHHHH
I’m here trying to understand what’s wrong with urinals lmao
They’re just bad. The pro is that they take up less space so more people can pee in parallel vs toilets.
The con is that using one without splashing piss all over everything is a skill check.
The BigO of urinal is basically “piss on a wall”
Let’s be honest. Standing and peeing anywhere is a skill check that only about half of us pass reliably.
I’d much rather my co workers miss the urinal than miss the bowl. Those animals don’t always lift the seat before they piss all over it.
The pro is that they take up less space so more people can pee in parallel vs toilets.
That’s a really big pro in a lot of cases. Big enough that it make urinals great imo
It has nothing to do with fragile masculinity, and everything to do with the dysfunctional personalities of Lemmy users.
No disagreeing with the title or you have fragile masculinity!
If you don’t like urinals, don’t use them. If you say something shouldn’t exist when many people prefer to use it over the other options, expect pushback, even if it’s in a humorous context.
The comic feels like a joke here but the title feels like there’s some serious sentiment behind it, even if it doesn’t have any real intent to actually ban urinals.
Well I stand facing AWAY from the urinal and pee over my shoulder!
“I personally don’t have a problem with urinals, I don’t think they should be removed”
“FRAGILE MASCULINITY”
lol
The only evidence of the “grand gay conspiracy” people keep talking about is the existence of bath-tub (multi-user) urinals.
I haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid when my redneck racist homophobic dad would drag us to the dirt track to watch other drunk rednecks race each other in their first track cars… Hang on…
Yea nah, that is not a sexy situation.
It’s very sexual. All that pee in the trough where you can dip your bread. It’s very elegant, very European https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupeur
I would have thought trough over tub… but i guess that depends entirely on the type of multi-user you’re going for…
Legend has it that alpha males stand in front of each other when they pee, looking straight into each other’s eyes and sometimes arm wrestling with their free hand.
That’s pretty thoughtful to put drink dispensers next to portapotty’s.
I’ve pissed into these at student events. Everyone was just chatting while pissing and having a good time, it was weird but also pretty great. It also made things really fast for men, women lined up up to 20 minutes.
I need both hands to control my alpha male fire hose. The girth of my manly urethra is enough to fit an average penis. I can empty my bladder in 3 seconds, but it is an intense 3 seconds. You’ll be damned sure I’m staring you straight in the eye from across our opposed urinals as I do. And I expect a small kiss, out of respect, before I leave.
I’ve definitely stood next to guys who pee in about 3 seconds, sounding like a gosh darned race horse, while I’m stuck there for 3 minutes. Gosh darn it!
This hits me deep. I will often walk into a bathroom and walk right out if I see too many people. I’ll either find a quieter bathroom or just hold it because it’s physically impossible for me to pee if I can sense anybody within close proximity. Sadly, that applies to stalls too.
I don’t mind urinals. It just sucks when you have to double or triple up on them. Sharing with someone else just isn’t fun
You may be joking, but the ones that are just a trough with no barriers at all between them I always hated. I don’t want my shoulders touching 1 or 2 other guys while holding my dick in my hand trying to convince myself I am not to nervous to pee.
They were common in country themed bars for a while, I would have to be drunk and NEEDing to pee to be able to go. So usually I just stopped going to those places.
I agree with that, it’s not the urinals that are the problem it’s people standing next to each other to pee. Something that wouldn’t even happen if you were pissing outside on a tree or behind some bushes.
“Nice watch”
Well…I have paruresis and it was a struggle when I used to go to nightclubs and use the urinals, for some reason there was always only one toilet and a bunch of urinals, so I had to get drunk fast to be able to use the urinals like a normal guy. Most of the time the bathroom door didn’t have a lock, so I’m glad I never had to do number 2 there.
Basically my nightmare.
I’ve never used a urinal. it’s weird and also some of them are disgusting, they almost guarantee splashback
edit: are, not ate
If you’re eating at a urinal you’re doing something wrong
