I showed it to my brother who’s flavored straight vanilla and he didn’t get it, either. I’m glad to know we’re not alone. Lol.

Yeah, same. I chalked it up to the homosexuality, but I’m not sure after reading some of the comments.

The taste is generally okayish, it’s the texture that gets me. It’s always so granular and just… Eugh. The impossible burger, to be clear, is amazing in both taste and texture.

Now, to be completely fair now that I’m really thinking of it, most of the meat replacements I’ve had were cooked by my brother’s ex fiance, who also ruined tofu for me for years. And my vegan buddy is the one that made me try tofu again and I loved it, and the impossible burger…

You know what. In retracting my comment. It’s absolutely possible that I just didn’t like it because she was an awful cook. I will go about trying them all again

That’s a real shame about the web boards. I miss real forums :(

Here’s a fun little story about the first time we saw black squirrels.

We had just moved to Norfolk, Virginia. My mom is driving through Norfolk, Virginia. Have you been to Norfolk, Virginia? Norfolk, Virginia is heavily African American. Heavily. We are white.

My mom is driving, downtown Norfolk. It’s very heavy traffic, we’re going slow. It’s one of those areas where you worry about someone randomly starts cleaning your windshield, or if it’s late at night you might you may worry about carjackings. We do not have air-conditioning, and our windows are down.

My mom sees a group of black squirrels for the first time in her life. And she yells out “OH MY GOD THEY’RE BLACK! THEY’RE ALL BLACK”

I swear to you, I have never seen turn so pale so quick. She looks around and sees that lots and lots of people walking around have, indeed, heard her.

Luckily, traffic was moving fast enough there wasn’t too long of an awkward time with the people on the street.

Given the reaction everyone has to black squirrel I’m pretty sure the folks on the street knew why she’d yelled, but we didn’t know that at the time. Lol

My mom told us that “taste buds change every 7 years” but that each individual tastebud was on its own 7 year cycle, so one could change at any time. Try it today, you may hate it. Try it tomorrow, you may love it.

Made us very adventurous eaters as kids, and if we didn’t like something she never forced us to eat it. But we were always willing to try it again later on.

Except for raw oysters. That’s a texture thing. Shudder

Former smoker, current vaper. I know inhaling anything other than clean air isn’t good for me, and I know nicotine addiction isn’t good. I plan on quitting, and I’m making decent progress to that point.

But it bugs the shit out of me when people try to act like it’s worse than cigarettes. It’s not. Shitty Chinese vapes marketed to kids that we don’t know the ingredients of? Sure, ban em. Black market vapes made in some dudes garage with oil? Absolutely track em down and end that man’s whole career.

But properly made, regulated vape juice in a rebuildable tank? Leave me the fuck alone. Please. Please do not take the thing that has helped millions of people quit smoking!

Can you link me any decent articles to help the next time someone says some dumb reactionary shit?

I don’t look like bubbles! 😭

A friend I had not seen in about 15 years, upon seeing a picture of me while we were on the phone, without a skipping a beat, no hesitation, blurted out “You like look bubbles from trailer park boys!”

I played it off, got off the phone, and cried. Straight up cried.

It’s not totally unheard of. Firefighters do it. I imagine back in the day when doctors lived at hospitals (does this still happen?) they did it, too. People who do live in caregiving often practice waking up routines in case of emergency.

Basketball shorts are my normal attire. I’ve also been a caregiver for many years for my mom, and I can assure you, in an urgent situation, I can have the shorts on before I stand. I’m a pro at wake up, reach down and grab, and slide my legs into them as I’m standing. It literally takes no more time for me than it would to walk out of my room naked. They sit directly on top of my flip flops that I also slide into as I stand up. Shirts take more time, but that’s less important for me as a guy (still pretty important as a fat guy that hates being shirtless beyond what I can even explain).

That said, not everyone is such a seasoned professional. Robe is probably the better call. I’d wear a robe more often if I could find one that wasn’t so hot, I can only handle them in deepest of winter

My poor little boy gets his eye gookies cleaned daily, but I would never wipe them back on him! That’s just cruel

We had “the devil is beating his wife behind the kitchen door with a frying pan” and sometimes really old people would finish it with “on Sunday”

I seriously have no idea where the fuck this comes from, and it’s so weird and I love it

As a lifelong meat eater, anytime I’ve been in a situation where I abstain from meat for whatever reason, I avoid meat substitutes. They’re just not good. Black bean burger? Fantastic. Beyond burger? Satan’s taint. Stir fried veggies with fried tofu? Delicious. Qorn chicken stir fry? Beelzebub’s unwashed ass.

It’s so much better just to stop trying to imitate meat, and just focus on how frickin delicious veggies and stuff can be. They’re very good, all on their own!

The exception for me is the impossible burger. I legitimately like it better than a regular burger. It’s like if meat could be sourdough. I love it so much. But it truly is an exception.

Bill’s is so accurate it hurts

They did you dirty, my friend. I’m so sorry. I will observe a moment of silence for your loss

You talking that weird orange with the bits of brown in it they used in the 70s?

You talking that high maintenance, orange brown shag?

You talking that deranged, I’ll never-have-to-clean-it-myself carpeting?

Best shit ever.

My best friend bought a house that was last redecorated in the 70s, and had been unoccupied (but maintained and cleaned regularly) since the early 80s. I loved that carpet so much. Eventually we pulled it up and redid her hardwood floors, but my God did I miss that carpet when it was gone

Story time!

I had a grey tabby named Lucy. She was a wiz at sneaking out, and I would frequently get calls from neighbors and friends telling me she’d been spotted, and to come get her from under their house or out of their doghouse or whatever.

Got a call one day, “hey, man, Lucy’s over here, I tried to get her for you, but she’s acting all mean”

I went and got her, and sure as shit, she’s being just hateful. She’s normally sweet, but it’s super hot outside, and the yard she was in had a dog and it might have freaked her out. So I take her home, and she hides. Over the next three days whenever she comes out of hiding she alternates between being my sweet little baby Lucy, to being the spawn of an ancient demon bent on the destruction of mankind (and their upholstery). Hissing, scratching, biting… Just weird and crazy.

After about 3 days, I’m sitting in my mom’s room and she’s laying there in my lap, being so sweet. I’m telling my mom I think we need to take her to the vet because of the mood swings. We’re actively calling to make the appointment for her when Lucy walks into the room and starts trying to shred the blankets.

Lucy walked into the room.

Lucy was laying in my lap.

What the actual fuck.

I had straight up kidnapped someone’s cat.

I was going to ask if she was a Cornish Rex or a desert lynx! She’s so pretty!

I’d specifically think of myself as an anarchafeminist, so yes, I’d say I’m a feminist. Fuck bullshit gender division, and fuck anybody who thinks someone is less capable because of their genitals or the clothes they wear (or if those things “match” or not)