May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity.
May you have to deal with people like yourself for eternity nonstop.
so no pause or sleep.
Maybe, we don’t know how violent the guy is.
but what şf I am eepy? Do I deal with sleepy people tjat can’t sleep and I can’t sleep either?
Your socks will never feel dry again.
Hey! I wanted to say this. 😡
To me? 😦
No, just to all the cursed people.
May one shoelace be permanently tighter than the other just enough to be annoying.
Wow, you are a particular kind of cruel.
May you start every sentence with “Like,”
May your children be just like you.
Unforgivable. Should have just killed me.
May the other side of your pillow be always warm.
Make them use Microsoft products.
May your Tupperware and zip locks never fully close, click, snap or seal.
May mosquitos find your skin the rarest of delicacies while rendering others around you uninteresting to feed from.
May your front teeth be magnetic to food particles that are extra adhesive so you almost always have food stuck between your teeth.
May your tires always look deflated to others despite being full so you are constantly pointed at on the freeway and stoplights by other drivers.
May you compulsively jig any time you hear any music for a minimum for 30 seconds.
May you be unable to type so you are forced to handwrite everything. May you work for the IRS who accommodates your technological disability.
May people never find anything you say funny but they always give you halfhearted courtesy laughs.
May any TV channel or streaming station have no content other than Con Air on loop.
May you always get birthday cards, invitations and presents at least a month off from your real day.
May all your furniture squeak incessantly.
May your day be as pleasant as you are.
Every 24 hours, at noon, small rock appears in one of the shoes they are wearing.
They will grow a 5 inch translucent hair from the top of one ear every time they drink coffee.
15 minutes after they ride a bicycle they will have violent diarrhea with 5 minutes of warning signs.
Alcohol has no effect on them.
Every time they turn the steering wheel of their car further than 5°, their turn signal indicates the direction that the wheel turns.
They can hear what their dog or cat is thinking over any distance, but it is only a stream of consciousness because the animal is incapable of understanding that their thoughts are being heard.
You always feel like you have to sneeze
May your butthole itch after every shower
deleted by creator
Oh shit I’ve been living under this one.
May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
You are a monster.
All of their drawers are missing the thing that keeps them from pulling all the way out so they end up yanking the drawer all the way out every time
Mine never had those anyway. It’s not at all bad once you expect it.
May you live in interesting times.
That can get violent very easily. “Guess what, you’ll be in the middle of the most interesting war in history because it was the one that caused the most bloodied carnage and most suffering, ever.”
