I’m new to the bidet scene, and this one has me slightly confounded. Should I install a new towel rack next to the toilet? Should my wife and I share the towel? Do you wipe first? There are so many unanswered questions in the ways of bidet-ing!
Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.
For anyone with a sewer system built for TP, this is an ideal workflow. Poops and poopers are not identical, and bidets are not magical. Trust but verify, friends.
Pet peeve. Whatever three-quarters of the world seems to believe, any sewerage system can handle TP. That is: real TP has almost zero fiber integrity, it literally turns to goop on contact with water. Goop that has no more structural consistency than an average pile of sh*t. If still in any doubt then just make sure to flush it in single sheets, each one will be a pea-sized ball of goop. This misunderstanding seems to be purely cultural. I’ve been to a ton of developing countries, all with the usual dodgy sewerage systems and narrow-bore pipes. Yet only some of them, notably Latin America, have the disgusting cultural norm of TP bins. The rest understand that there is a difference between TP and paper towels designed for the kitchen and your face. TP is always flushable, by design.
And generally, baby wipes, bottom wipes and face wipes aren’t safe to flush, even if they say flushable on the package. If they were safe to flush, you wouldn’t be able to pull out a wet sheet from the package; it would be goo.
The cheap toilet paper can be submerged in water for like 48 hours before breaking down. So for many who only buy the cheapest, clogging pipes is a reality. Their own fault, but still.
I mean you could always just wipe your ass, leave the TP in the bowl for like 48 hours, and then flush it, but then that kinda seems unsustainable unless everyone has their own toilet and only needs to poop every 48nhours which isn’t gonna be the case in a poor country I bet.
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like RaulDook! 🤦♂️
This has always disturbed me. As a non-bidet user, when I have used them (a dozen or so times) an additional final sweep has definitely been required. And yet so many bidet users are adamant everything is magically 100% clean. I now just assume they’re walking around oblivious to a spot of wet mud peppered around the rim of their margherita.
People are different, some folks are hairy, some folks aren’t. I am unclear as to why this is “disturbing”.
I think of it as being (sorta) similar to spraying and wiping down a dirty countertop. The spray alone isn’t going to get it fully clean, but it makes the wipe about a thousand times more effective at finishing the job.
It’s certainly much cleaner than just spreading it with paper…
Which is like trying to wipe peanut butter off a counter top with just a dry paper towel.
If you have mud, your gi tract is not as healthy as it could be. Bidets are not designed to clean Peanut butter of carpet
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You have created a mental image that cannot be undone. I hope you’re happy.
It took me a little bit to figure out, but it’s all about the “aim” of the spray. If you’re not positioned just right, it might not be washing the area completely. But when it does, it’s so satisfying seeing a clean piece of wet tp.
I suppose it depends if you are using it correctly or not. I’ve used a bidet all my life, and where i live bidets are a separate bowl from the toilet, made from the same materials, and virtually every household has one. I’ve never had a problem of it not cleaning enough
EDIT: Here’s an image. You can see the bidet has a kind of jet of water coming upwards with force, exactly below where you would sit. You can regulate the intensity and if done properly you can clean yourself completely https://images.app.goo.gl/6w3EMWrAk34DBwJd7
My experience has been that it makes the perimeter squeaky-clean, but obviously with a finger, you can do some digging. And if you dig deep enough, there’s always going to be mud.
And also in my experience, this digging doesn’t actually help. You’ve got a great gate down there. If the outside of that gate is clean, you’re clean. Digging out from behind that gate doesn’t do much, because new mud will push up against it pretty soon.
You bidet it clean enough, then use your hand to wash your backside, then dry.
What, and I can’t stress this enough, the fuck?
I think it’s a Muslim thing
This is the case with many countries where toilet paper is cheap and shitty and will clog the hundred years old shared plumbing systems which probably drains into the same system as the rainwater drainage. They still have plumbing systems, though, so some form of bidet is still viable. So, wash with your left, eat with your right, as is common in india. Not too big of a problem, I’d say, so long as you have soap and water to wash your hand afterwards and you do a thorough job, and maybe also have a diet where you’re not shitting your brains out every time, and maybe also have a shaved asshole or something, but yeah.
This is the way.
Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.
Actually though, just dab with TP. You’ll use much less TP and not need “flushable” wipes that still clog your main sewage line
I know you’re joking, but i think I’d enjoy a Dyson ass dryer.
Technically, why not?
Because the butthole is sensitive and repetitive exposure to heat can cause issues.
No heat, imagine just a hand holdable blower with a complimentary vacuum to suck in everything blown away. Like at the dentist. The dentist makes a mess in your teeth while the assistant uses a little vacuum tube to clean it all up.
Got a solid chuckle out of me man, thanks. Needed that.
I wonder when Dyson is going to bring out their arse-sized airblade?
I twerk a bit over the bowl.
I’m sleepy and read that as “Biden voters, how do you dry your ass afterward?” and was very confused. But like… not as confused as I probably should have been.
with the amount of US political shit on here its no surprise really. honestly I had a pretty similar thought as I was scrolling over.
Yeah, I came into this thread expecting to learn more about some new brain-dead meme the right is using to pwn the left. Then realized it was a normal question I could answer.
You dab with toilet paper, for the love of all thats good, do not share an ass drying towel with your wife unless you went her to get chronic utis.
I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn’t always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.
Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.
…toilet paper…?
Wipe, rinse with bidet, then wipe again to dry.
Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?
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Because it’s a funny haha bathroom post
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if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?
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Actually I’m a lemmy user, I use Arch btw, live in my mom’s basement, I’ve never been on a date and I never go outside. Of course I’ve never used water to bathe before.
if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?
The purpose of a bidet isn’t necessarily to make toilet paper unnecessary, it’s to clean properly. Before getting a bidet I would just step into the shower and use the removable shower head to wash my ass with a little soap and warm water, towel off after, bam super clean. I still do that, but now the bidet can save a step if I’m in a hurry.
Basically, try this experiment. (Quoted from some comedian) Smear some poop on the back of your hand. Then wipe it with dry paper and nothing else. Do you feel clean? Ready to go through the day? Of course not! You want to actually wash that off, and that’s the pleasant feeling from using a stream of water to feel thoroughly clean, not just removing residue but getting up in there into the outer wrinkles of the butthole, reduces the chance of getting the itchies later.
(This is particularly of consequence if there is ANY chance whatsoever of ending up naked with another person. You might not notice it, but other people would get hit with a musk the moment your underwear drops, and not the nice kind.)
two sheets versus a couple of giant wads? You’re definitely reducing your TP usage.
Tell you what. You drop a nice creamy dump on your floor, then try to get it clean with dry toilet paper. Let us know how it goes.
You don’t shit on yourself though, or at least I hope so.
You only wipe away the residue and not the entire shit
The residue of shit is still shit.
I feel like this comment could be applied in many diverse contexts.
Yes, but your comparison was shit.
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Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?
I feel like some people were never given actual hygiene instructions from their parents growing up. I can only imagine the way some people are so hung up on genitals and waste products that they can’t even think about it, those kinds of people going on to have kids… do we really think they’re going to pass on useful information on self-care?
And it’s not like there’s tons of social messaging and helpful guides all over the place on proper bathroom habits, it’s purely a passed-down skillset.
Every time this comes up on reddit, there are a lot of people sharing stories about knowing men who literally don’t wipe their own ass or touch it while showering and just constantly walk around with shit all over their ass. I used to think it was a meme, but then met people in real life who also had encounters with men who thought touching their own ass would “make them gay.”
So yah, people getting anxious about using a bidet? That tracks. I think a lot of people are at very least, just anxious because they’ve never really been shown anything and might be doubting their own habits. Basically the bathroom and poop and related topics are just this mysterious realm that nobody talks about. Insecurity over our most intimate and private acts is a tradition as old as time itself.
Upgrade to one with power. Never look back. Automatic flush, automatic seat raise and lower with a foot sensor, uv lights inside, foam/soap dispense into the bowl before and after, all the bidet features with constant and pulsing, articulating arm, heated seat, heated blow dry air, etc. It’s absolutely amazing.
Assuming you’re in the US just because the question only seems to come up there, and for our house there we imported them from Asia for less than $1k to the doorstep. Adding a power outlet is usually easy as most washrooms in the US have an outlet somewhere.
Bidet is like going to level 100 from 5. Super automatic Asian bidet is like a level 5000.
1k? Like… That’s it !?
Yes exactly! A bidet attachment plus a cheap bowl is like half of that. So it seemed like a no brainer.
Got a link to this black magic you speak of?
I am not affiliated with them at all:
I purchased from a sales rep for the company over WhatsApp and using Alipay because it was easy. They sell their products on Alibaba as well which would give you the sales protection and all that. I’ve bought about a dozen of them so far for 3 different houses. Wonderful.
What I didn’t understand from their catalog until I got one, is that they are very modular. Basically they have a couple bowl designs, lots of lid module designs, and then a few tank designs. Mix and match them to get all the SKUs.
I got the extra large tanks in-wall with wall hung bowls and then the super awesome everything lids. So the final product installed is just a floating toilet, with some buttons on the wall above it. You walk up to it, the lid opens. You either sit and the seat is heated or you wave your foot and the lid opens for guy mode. When you’re done in guy mode just walk away and it will flush and close and clean. In sit mode press the little knob on the side and it starts the water and then heat dry. You can also rotate the dial to get articulating wash and dry action. It comes with a remote control (why?) and an lcd on top. The soap dispenser inside creates a foam that shoots down when the lid opens. I’ve never been so impressed by a porcelain throne.
Just to second the other guy: Link? Brand? Any info to hunt this down?
I am not affiliated with them at all:
I purchased from a sales rep for the company over WhatsApp and using Alipay because it was easy. They sell their products on Alibaba as well which would give you the sales protection and all that. I’ve bought about a dozen of them so far for 3 different houses. Wonderful.
What I didn’t understand from their catalog until I got one, is that they are very modular. Basically they have a couple bowl designs, lots of lid module designs, and then a few tank designs. Mix and match them to get all the SKUs.
I got the extra large tanks in-wall with wall hung bowls and then the super awesome everything lids. So the final product installed is just a floating toilet, with some buttons on the wall above it. You walk up to it, the lid opens. You either sit and the seat is heated or you wave your foot and the lid opens for guy mode. When you’re done in guy mode just walk away and it will flush and close and clean. In sit mode press the little knob on the side and it starts the water and then heat dry. You can also rotate the dial to get articulating wash and dry action. It comes with a remote control (why?) and an lcd on top. The soap dispenser inside creates a foam that shoots down when the lid opens. I’ve never been so impressed by a porcelain throne.
This guy bidets
Pat dry with toilet paper
Did you dab? You have to dab!
Stop saying dab!
- The Venture Bros.
Yes. This prevents the tp from ripping.
In Italy, where the bidet is its own “seat”, we use small towels, one for each person. The ones that usually people vacationing in Italy think are for the face, they are actually for your ass. Hard to tell the difference on American tourists sometimes.
Noted
I invested in one of those super fancy “smart” toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.
I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.
Its the fanciest thing I own.
what’s on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?
I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.
Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:
- Start/Stop
- Water temperature
- Seat temperature
- Water pressure
- Angle of nozzle
- Oscillator
- Turbo mode
- Air dryer
- Deodorizer
- Children’s mode
- Women’s hygiene mode
- Default run duration timer setting
- Power save mode
But what I really want is for it to say “Arigato Daddy-sama (ʘᴗʘ✿)” after I shit in it
I promise there’s no scoffing here! I love my analog bidet, and am always on the lookout for an upgrade, if the price is right. Especially if it can be fitted to a standard american toilet.
Happily taking recommendations, if you have any. The features you listed sound refreshing, relaxing, and somewhat intimidating. Which, to be clear, I’m into.
The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.
Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.
- Some settings like when to open the seat/lid, when to
I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.
I have one too, I’m on it now.
My bidet does not shoot at my whole ass. It only laser focuses on certain parts, which I dry with toilet paper.
Exactly and you can control where it goes by wiggling your ass.
One piece of toilet paper. Just enough to get it mostly dry.
I bought a couple sets of washcloths that are only for drying butt. I fold them and lay them on the tank lid, and then put used ones in a little basket/bin beside the toilet. When I run out, I wash them in the laundry room. I haven’t bought toilet paper in 5 years.
