Please don’t ask why I need this.
The food has to be something I can easily find.
EDIT: Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.
EDIT 2: I lost. You guys purposefully made me poop I’m never doing this shit again
It all comes full circle. Like a toilet bowl. My first day on Lemmy was the don’t ask why, but I need to not shit for 3 days post. And here we are. So much culture in only a year.
Jack Link’s beef stick & cheese, sasquatch size. You’re going to need at least 6 per day to get over 1600 calories but it’s going to be nearly 3x recommended sodium for the day so be sure to drink lots of water.
If you manage to poop at any time during those three days you deserve a medal.
thanks man
Wait, the title says “while” pooping? OK, don’t eat meat and cheese.
I misread it earlier as “without”
Title is different outside and inside post. Not sure what sorcery this is but it’s funny.
Shenanigans!
You risk Kidney stones with that Sodium. I don’t know what toilet horrors you and your butthole face that have driven you to this point, but heed my warning, kidney stones really fucking hurt.
3lbs of cashews, eat one pound each day, shit will flow
Gas station roller grill taquitos, a 5lb bag of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears, and a case of bottled water.
Start with the taquitos, then eat the gummy bears a handful at a time. You’ll know when to switch to water.
If you want volume, go for as much veggies as you can. Try 4 large potatoes and a lb of black beans per day.
Why do you need this?
You’ve seen the movie the ring? And two girls 1 cup? Mix them both together.
Haribo sugarless gummy bears have a strong laxative effect. I’d say that’s a pretty strong contender
Training for No Poop November I see. I bet I’ll make it the entire month next time.
How easy would it be for you to find (natural) laxatives? ChatGPT names Prunes and Kiwis, Broccoli, Almonds and Walnuts, Yogurt (the white non-sweet kind would be best)
Basically the above is just a who’s who of healthy dieting if you ask me lol. If you need high caloric density for the “eating as much as possible” part just go for anything high in fat and or sugar. Nutella would check both boxes but this is really not recommendable from a health perspective obviously.
Competitive eaters like Beard Meats Food would just chug on double cream if they wanted to get as many calories down as possible. The only “problem” there is that it doesn’t make for a very entertaining video.
Dried prunes, apples and pears have, I believe, the highest poop to volume ratio of any food.
Yellow dragonfruit, refried beans/hummus
Whatever mizu did, do the opposite.
Clean yourself out with a laxative. Like a colonoscopy prep. Safely. Then eat only high protein, low residue foods. Look them up. Should be as close to good as possible. No poop already in process, slow moving food after. Won’t be comfortable, but you should make it.
Rice and beans.
