Man, I must have missed that day in Sunday School when they taught that Jesus cheated on his wife with a sex worker and then used money from his carpentry business to have his lawyer cover it up so he wouldn’t lose credit when running for the office of Roman prefect.
It’s only in John.
I have no idea why, but my first thought was it’s only in “the John”. As in it was in some ancient bathroom graffiti. Just scrawled hastily on the bathroom walls, explaining all about the son of God’s legal woes.
Funnily enough, we have learned a huge amount about first century Rome from the graffiti in Pompeii and Herculaneum.
Here’s the family-friendly stuff:
http://ancientgraffiti.org/Graffiti/
Here’s the absolutely filthy stuff:
https://kashgar.com.au/blogs/history/the-bawdy-graffiti-of-pompeii-and-herculaneu
That’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility to be honest.
The words of the prophets are written on the bathroom walls, and toilet stalls.
When did Jesus put it in John?
Nono, he did it on the john.
Don’t forget the time Jesus told his disciples that when you’re rich, women let you grab them by the pussy.
They might argue Jesus had sex with a prostitute.
Tbough I imagine they would need some special type of cross to crucify Trump. I don’t think his body weight could be supported by nails through his hands or wrists.
He would immediately fall to the ground, tearing his wrists and breaking his legs.
The Roman soldiers could dip the sponges in Diet Coke, and wouldn’t need a stick to raise it to him. But it would be pretty gruesome.
They could give him one of those kids crowns you used to get from Burger King. Instead of INRI it could read IMXXL.
Then they roll him into a cave and three days later he is lifted into heaven by a Chinese spy balloon.
What about the time when Jesus was feeling a little threatened by John the Baptist’s popularity so he started chanting “Lock him up! Lock him up!” I believe that was during the Sermon on the Golden Stairs.
Only for John to be
relentlessly investigated by the GOPbeheaded by Herodias for no good reason.
I came into this thread thinking, “huh, I thought MTG liked Trump”. It literally didn’t occur to me that she wasn’t making fun of him. How can you possibly call Trump a convicted felon, compare him to the perfect son of God, and still think you’re a serious person? It’s insane
I’m surprised she didn’t extend that to, “and both were persecuted by Jews!”
Sigh, one of these days we’ll place the blame where it really belongs. On the Italians. Who told people to blame the Jews for Jesus? That’s right the Roman Catholic Church.
It’s not like we’re going to start coming to agreement that religious leaders are prone to corruption regardless of what religion it is, and that this is especially true in tumultuous times and places like Roman Judea in the early Julian Dynasty.
The same person who also said the Jews have secret space lasers. 🤔
jesus, also a billionaire, oh wait
Jesus hated money lenders. Trump relies on them.
money lendersmoney lauderersThat’s the one time in the new testament (that I can recall) where Jesus got pissed, started whipping people.
So you’re saying it’s sort of like when Trump had Stormy Daniels spank him with a rolled up Forbes magazine?
They are the same!
Not just whipping people, he went and made a qhip for an entire day and then went back to whip them.
Trump hates them too, when he has to return the money.
OK, just crucify Trump, and look what happens (or not) on the third day…
Most people shit themselves when they die, but Trump comes pre-shitted apparently. So that diaper gonna be FILLED.
I’m pretty sure Stormy Daniels did a lot of things with Trump, but washing his feet with her tears was not one of the things she did when his wife was pregnant.
You know, comparing people to God is basically blasphemy already. Not that I trust people who genuinely support Trump to understand anything about their own religion - or anything really.
Just like HER Jesus, that is.
No no, her perverted idea. Jesus only has one form, and it’s not up to her imagination.
Hi. I see that you’re religious. Have you met other religious people before?
A lot of people like majorly tainted green
“He’s just like me frfr” — Jesus apparently
Ah, but the difference…
Yehoshua “Jesus” ( Iosa, actually, according to a Roman friend I had ) benJoseph was:
- falsely-convicted
- by legalists
- whom benJoseph had consistently shown to be hypocrites, &
- they were using legalism to convict him, to get even with him.
Trump, however, admitted in court that “Mother Theresa couldn’t beat these charges” or something like that:
Trump was convicted:
- fair & square
- honestly,
- of actual-crimes
- he himself committed.
“Just like Jesus” my arse.
_ /\ _
He was not falsely convicted.
Jesus claimed to be a king. The Roman’s took that literally. He was given a chance by Pilate to recant, and doubled down.
That’s what he was executed for (Rebellion, inciting insurrection. All that nastiness.)
Sure, his followers took it metaphorically, but he had an opportunity and doubled down on it.
Sure the mainstream jews wanted him dead because he was (in point of fact, yet another) mystic running a cult, and it was stiring up the common sorts enough they were having problems.
The Pharisees would have knifed him and left it at that, But the romans were getting a little irritated with all the dead bodies being left around- untidy that. The Roman’s cracked down on that sort of thing, so they had to have him tried in Roman courts for breaking Roman laws. Pity he made it so easy.
…
they both “incited insurrection” o_o;
huh.
except trump did it literally and jesus did it metaphorically.
Not how the Roman’s saw it. Saying “I am king of the Jews” was tantamount to rebellion against the Roman Empire.
It’s the kind of thing that gets people killed.
Also not to mention that as a Roman province, Judea couldn’t execute anyone without the Romans’ permission. So they sent Jesus to the Romans and the Romans were like “WTF this guy is innocent” but the Jews were like “Yeah but we still want to kill him”. Then the Romans were like “Okay, how about I give you the choice of freeing either this innocent man or this convicted murderer” and the Jews were like “Free the murderer and kill him”. Then the Romans were like “Fine, we’re literally washing our hands of whatever happens but you do you boo” and the Jews were like “Yay, now all the threats to our religious dogma are gone!” and nothing bad happened to them ever again.
Yep, that’s exactly the same as Trump going before a court, having evidence presented against him, having a defense presented for him, and having a jury of his peers decide on the evidence. The parallels are obvious 🙄
Nailed it.
And she is a Putin Puppet.
Just like Jesus
Will we one day get treated to the sight of MTG going down on a life-sized Trump sex doll on the stage in front of a thousand MAGats, all speaking in tongues?
You have a weird definition of “treat”
Don’t kink shame me.
Weird isn’t necessarily bad!
Its really sad to see someone so absolutely full of shit that they have to unload it on the public
