I always thought that didn’t happened, but based on what I’ve seen on the Internet, it seems like it is possibly more common that I thought.
So I was feeling a bit under the weather and farted while in bed before getting up. It felt a bit wet but I ignored it. Turned out I basically shat myself and only realized after passing an interview that morning.
Nobody noticed or they just didn’t mention it, I ended up getting up the job so all ended up alright (except my self esteem)
I can’t imagine spending half a day not realizing that my pants were full of shit.
How did you like, get changed and ready for an interview that sounds like it was in person and not notice? Like didn’t your ass get itchy or irritated
It was early in the morning so I basically just put on my pants and went straight there. It was just a bit and all liquid but yeah it got itchy lol. Not my best moment.
I would call it 1.5 times. In the 90s, I worked for a company that gave out $50 gift cards to a local grocery store for the holidays. I was young and still lived with my parents, so I used it to buy $50 worth of beer and fish (orange roughy). Went over to my friend’s house and we drank copious amounts of beer and consumed way too much beer battered roughy. Was standing outside the next morning having a smoke and trusted a fart. That was the last time I trusted a fart with a hangover.
Next time was about 25 years later, stomach gurgling during the last 20 minutes of a 2 hour commute, and well past the last public restroom. Tried to make it home, farting as I could to release whatever pressure I could. About 5 minutes from home, last fart released about 2 tablespoons of poop into my underpants. I phoned my wife to have the door open and make sure she wasn’t in the nearest bathroom. lol.
Man orange roughy is the best fish, young you had good taste in seafood.
Too bad my beer tastes weren’t as refined yet. Maybe then I wouldn’t have shit my pants! Stupid Miller Genuine Draft. lol
Based on my own research, which should not be considered scientific by any means:
Pants shitting frequency directly correlates to one’s personal level of alcoholism.
You’ll know it’s coming when the wet bubbly farts start.
every alcoholic I’ve ever met, none of shit themselves.
but they pissed themselves, and their beds, and their friends and familys couches and beds, and their cars…
I had diarrhea on the day of a performance. I had it earlier but it was in such a minor severity that I didn’t think it would be an issue, especially if I didn’t eat anything for a while. At one point during a quiet part of the performance, one of the vendors was really lowkey pressuring people to buy food, so I gave in and bought chicken bites, with the diarrhea not coming to mind at all. In hindsight, I don’t give any compliments to whoever made/stored made them.
Thirty minutes later, when the performance had heated up, I sensed it and had a split second to comprehend what was about to happen next… puh-vloooooomp! At first I was like “oh shit” (no pun intended) and was able to position myself in a way that (to my knowledge) hid my mess, which combined with the heat and the fact I was wearing a skirt made it uncomfortable, but then, after another half an hour, I had forgotten about it and just left it, heading to the bathroom in that time.
I came back to see people distancing themselves because of how ugly it was and how much it smelled since it didn’t all travel with me, combined with the fact that the place had been hit with a lot of supposed hooliganism, which triggered a streak of rule strictness. I couldn’t get the words “well it wasn’t MY shit” completely out (and a part of me felt like correcting my dishonesty there had I said it) when I was told to not return in the future. I spent the night crying because of what I had done.
wowww, that sounds soooo embarrassing 😦
You definitely wouldn’t be wrong there. My bad luck knows how to follow me, and people wonder why I’m as reserved as I am.
I drank too much cold brew and trusted a fart when I shouldn’t have. I was actually on the phone with my dad when it happened, thank god it was at home.
“Hey dad, I’m gonna have to call you back”
lol, not my proudest moment
I once set my kitchen on fire by pouring flammable liquid on the stove burner while answering the phone while my mom was calling. “Hey mom, gonna have to call you back”
Stomach flu
As an adult, only once ever. Though it’s rather difficult to properly call it poop:
Dysentery. Was homeless. Was thirsty. Drank contaminated water. Ended up shitting transparent slime mixed with blood.
I’m sorry friend. I hope things are better for you now.
I’ve ulcerative colitis so in the last week probably 5-6 as I’ve had a flare up and was in hospital and couldn’t get to the toilet in time. Plus I had frequent diarrhea.
Probably a hundred.
99 of those times was when I had dysentery and had zero control over my bowels and took place over the course of like 3 days. I was literally bedridden and still having to muster the energy to get up every 5-10 minutes to shit… and sometimes, due to pure exhaustion or surprise, I just didnt act in time.
the other time was when I had an awful stomach flu and was literally forcibly drug out of my house by family who didnt believe I was sick until I shit in their car. Then they lost their minds over that
In that situation I would say they got what they deserved.
It wasnt intentional, but I have absolutely zero regrets about shitting in their car.
Had some regrets about having to clean myself off in the back yard and waddle into the house to shower, though, that was mostly cause i was so sick and low energy however.
I dont have any good excuse for when it’s happened to me. I travel a lot for work and the changes in diet plus things like stress and caffeine can cause my intestines to betray me sometimes lol.
Not trying to make a pun here, but Shit happens.
Especially when you start throwing weird new foods and, especially, spices at your digestive tract.
I pooped in my bed in the recovery room after surgery once. Other than that, never.
I’ve done it twice, once was in my mid 20s when I had food poisoning and lying in bed. My boyfriend and I had had a fight during the dinner that gave me the food poisoning and when we were in bed later still a bit mad, I wasn’t feeling good but trusted a fart and shat myself. I was pretty embarrassed but he immediately forgot he was mad and took really good care of me while I puked and shat (in the toilet at least) for the rest of the night.
Then I did it again last year in a gas station bathroom. I don’t have a great excuse for this one except that we were on a long road trip and I really had to go so I went to a gross gas station washroom but then while I was doing my poo my mom kept knocking at the door panicking cause I guess she really had to pee. I felt like I finished so I wiped up, got up and was washing my hands when I trusted a fart. Thankfully I had a change of clothes in the car or else I would’ve had to sit in my own shit for the next 3 hours.
I’m suspicious of people who say they’ve never shat themselves…
Well, in that case, you’d find me quite trustworthy.
Probably twice. Both relating to colonoscopy prepping.
No times. I’ve always managed to get to a toilet in time, even if it was only moments to spare.
Three times.
Twice from trusting farts. Pretty standard story.
Once because I was sick with food poisoning but had to make a 300 mile drive that day. Couldn’t hold the diarrhea in while vomiting on the side of the road. Luckily I had a change of clothes and got home before the second round of duplex emesis hit.
