Silverback. Yeah mambas should be scared and stay away, but one crazy one and you can’t hide anywhere. With the gorilla I just need to stay somewhere closed off, like on top of an elevator car. But also silverbacks understand conciliatory gestures. If you’re submissive they won’t attack you. Literally the opposite of a black bear encounter. Make yourself small, look away, and slowly move away.
If the both animals are angry I feel like you can just loot some food and drinks then lock yourself into a freezer or something (ofc you turn it off first).
I dont know how realistic this is but I kinda expect a gorilla to be able to smash the freezer door but no way a snake is getting in or 5 for that matter
Gorilla might come at you because fuck you. Mamba is scared shitless of you.
There are hidden hallways behind the shops, if you can get back there the gorilla won’t ever find you. Hell go to the elevator or a bathroom and just chill for a day.
Gorillas are some sneaky motherfuckers. That’s the first place they’ll hide waiting for you.
Stop at the CinnaBon first then. Throw a roll and run away.
Decoy roll.
That’s terrible! You just don’t mess with a person’s sweetroll…
They’re not drop bears!
A gorilla is just five five drop bears in a fucking trench coat and you can’t prove me wrong.
They may be, but it’s still terrifying to find out one was sleeping in your bed springs after you found one on your windowsill the night before.
I feel like the same is true of a gorilla though.
All the people who are not choosing to chill with a usually calm intelligent mammal because “snakes will get out of your way” apparently don’t know shit about black mambas:
Skittish and often unpredictable, the black mamba is agile and can move quickly. In the wild, black mambas seldom tolerate humans approaching more closely than about 40 metres (130 ft)
When confronted, it is likely to engage in a threat display
During the threat display, any sudden movement by the intruder may provoke the snake into performing a series of rapid strikes, leading to severe envenomation
Give me a big strong dude intelligent enough to leave you alone after you’re demonstrated that you’re not a threat any day!
Malls have food, I’d be that gorillas personal chef for 24 hours
That was my thought. Me and my new best friend are going to learn to make pretzels! Together!
Couldn’t you just like go in an upstairs bathroom and just lock the door?
The snakes could go down the drain of a toilet in the other restroom, and come out inside your restroom.
I am sick of these mother fucking snakes in the mother fucking bathroom
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING BATHROOM
Maybe, but that would work with the Silverback too 🤷
Regardless, 24 hours locked in a bathroom could be its own kind of hell tbh…
Meh that isn’t too far away from my life most days. Except I don’t have to wash dishes.
At least with the gorilla I’d feel safe sleeping after locking enough doors, can not say the same with the snakes.
From the same Wikipedia article:
The black mamba’s reputation for being ready to attack is exaggerated; it is usually provoked by perceived threats such as the blocking of its movements and ability to retreat.
Despite its reputation as a formidable and highly aggressive species, the black mamba attacks humans only if it is threatened or cornered.
Good thing there’s no corners or enclosed areas in malls
Yup, I’d feel much safer with a gorilla. But I’m stupid enough to try to befriend him with fruits lol
As long as you’re careful about displaying submissive body language and not getting too close, the worst thing that could happen is probably that he gets to snack on fruit and ignores you 🤷
Probably have to REALLY know what you’re doing though lol
Me and 24 gorilla pals going to Auntie Annie’s after a movie then looking through GameStop.
Actually yeah, gorilla and have him smash into the GameStop for you… The perfect heist
Black mammas at the mall shopping for pant.
I have a pair of those
Black mambas, or pants?
Yeah!
Plural, pants. Actually, since there are 5 of them, that would actually be pantsssss
Sorry I don’t make the rules
Sure, lots of big animals are gentle. However when something the size of a car decides to gore you or rip your spine in half, there’s nothing you can do about it
It’s not like we’re better at defending ourselves from snakes either
A snake can’t sprint at you at 25 miles an hour and then rip you in half like a phone book as soon as it sees you. Nor would it. A panicked gorilla placed in a strange location like a mall will potentially kill anything in sight.
Just don’t go into corners, it’s 24 hours and only 5 snakes. Go to the Asian imports and get a mall ninja sword if it makes you feel more comfortable. The snakes are going to fuck off anywhere small where they feel protected… just don’t go adventuring and you won’t have any snek issues.
Now if it’s 50 mambas that definitely changes the calculus.
If they are not mad at me I’ll just go to the fruit stand with the gorilla and chill.
There’s always a gorilla in the banana stand.
Is that how that saying goes?
I’m Australian so obviously a black mamba. Dealing with more venomous snakes than that in your house and property is just how you grow up, even in outter suburbs of metro areas.
Plus the gorillas in Australia are venomous anyway.
That tracks.
Almost half as venomous as the Liberal Party politicians, even!
Not Australian but we used to get snakes in our house. Usually just bull snakes which aren’t venomous. One time though there was a diamond back rattle snake that got behind my bed, did not like waking up like that.
I gotta ask why‽ Not to disliking a snake wake up but why were they there? Was your house built on an Native burial grounds?
oh its mamba time. for sure.
Mambas numbering five…
Ah 1, 2, 3-4-5…
I hope you’re proud of yourself. 🤣
Yeah, I’d take the snakes anyday. You probably won’t even encounter them in the mall. You’ll probably notice the gorilla. Also, I’m confident that I could easily find something in a mall to deal with the snakes. I can’t think of anything I’d find in a mall that would let me take down a gorilla.
Heck, the mall is probably safer with the snakes in it. They’d eat the rats, which can carry dangerous diseases.
Gorilla any day. If the Black Mamba kills you, it is not a pleasant death, 7-15 hours. Gorilla will probably beat/bite me to death as fast as possible to minimise any risk to itself. The Mamba will also be much more unpredictable vs the Gorilla. But I wonder how this situation would be if it was over a week and not 24 hours
As to the gorilla killing you quickly:
Not that it’s a direct comparison, but have you ever seen the video of the baboon ripping a gazelle to pieces from the back end up without a care in the world that the thing is still entirely alive and aware?
(Do not look that up if you’re at all squeamish)
That’s the thing, though: baboons are absolutely vicious. You can’t take them anywhere without them spoiling your day with absolutely unnecessary levels of brutality.
Gorillas might fiercely protect themselves and their family when threatened, but far from being vicious predators, they’re mostly pretty chill herbivores who just want to eat fruit and be left alone.
Can I have both?
“Let them fight”
Yes
Take some warm clothes, hang out in a walk in fridge at the the food court. Easiest however much they’re paying me for this I’ve ever made.
That would work for the gorilla too, unless it saw you go in, and was particularly mad.
It might be, it knows about me and his brother. :/
I’d take the snakes. If you can find the thermostat you can turn it way down and immobilize the snakes.
That depends. Is there a Hot Topic in the mall?
