• don@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Are there handguns small enough to fit inside a Petri dish? Or do you just aim the handgun at the Petri dish? Does the handgun need to be loaded? If it must be loaded, will blanks suffice? Does a larger caliber reduce the time needed to aim the handgun at the Petri dish? Is there a specific distance to the dish from which one must aim the handgun? Are rifles, shotguns, and machine guns specifically excluded? Will a sword work? It’s generally made of the same kind of material as a handgun. Is it necessary to stand on a chair while wearing a lab coat while aiming the handgun? Can two hands be used to aim the handgun? Does engaging the handgun’s safety have any effect on the contents of the Petri dish?

      XKCD’s not being very helpful.

      • 1024_Kibibytes@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        I don’t know of any handguns small enough to fit into a petri dish. The handgun must be loaded and fired at the petri dish. A large caliber will be easier to aim since it would decrease the need for accuracy. Close range is a better distance. Shotguns and machine guns would do an even better job, rifles are fine. A sword decreases the likelihood of destroying a virus because of its low energy. Standing on a chair while wearing a lab coat makes you look cooler. Two hands can be used to aim the gun if it helps you. The handgun will not fire with the safety on, thus decreasing the probability of destroying the virus.

  • gibmiser@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    They don’t want you to know it works, but I’ve been microdosing lava for years now. Now everything tastes the same and I can fly.

  • don@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    Technically a close-range gamma ray burst can kill coronavirus, but there’s a good reason no one is using it for that purpose: it’s a goddamned close-range gamma ray burst.

  • Nobody@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    My sister’s baby’s daddy’s cousin’s roommate drank lava, and it cured his cancer. Then, he quit taking drugs. Why does Big Geology support cancer and drug addiction?

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Every time you tell this story you leave out the fact his testicle (yeah he only got one) swole up to the size of a basketball and I think that’s pretty important

  • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Why is this forbes article written like the author’s brother-in-law suggested lava as a cure for covid and he rolled his eyes and went “Now I gotta debunk THIS shit.”

  • otp@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    Yup. And to complement this, gotta love when people react to the side effects of water!