Funny suggestions only

  • Teknikal@lemm.eeEnglish
    35·
    2 years ago

    Start referring to her as your sexy Gorilla

    This will probably end in disaster

  • OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world
    27·
    2 years ago

    Rent a tuxedo and a limousine; tell her you’re taking her out for a nice night, and do so - dinner at a nice restaurant with drinks and all that. Candles and shit. Before dessert comes, get down on one knee. Look her in the eyes and tell her how much she means to you - how you’ll always love and cherish her. Reach into your pocket, and pull out a Venus. Maintain eye contact. Then pop the question.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    22·
    2 years ago

    “M’lady, may I gently suggest you trim the hedges of your nethers?”

    Serious answer:

    I was the lady in this situation.

    Just say you’d love it if she trimmed tight or shaved. She can always say no, you aren’t attacking her, just expressing a preference. Same as if she said she’d love you to shave, right?

    • nifty@lemmy.world
      9·
      2 years ago

      Yeah, I think just saying “I’d love it if you were trimmed/shaved rn” works for majority of women. As for me, I have neurodivergent tendencies and I like clear messages, so even a “can you shave” wouldn’t be offensive (to me).

  • QaspR@lemmy.world
    10·
    2 years ago

    Just grow out a nice thick beard and go down on her until she turns the tables on you.

  • Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world
    101·
    2 years ago

    Get a miniature machete like the ones they use in the films to cut vines etc. when trying to get through a jungle and bring it with you when you are going down on her.

    Bonus points if you get a jungle outfit like nigel thornberry.

  • LoraxEleven@lemmy.world
    6·
    2 years ago

    Baby, I feel like I been cat-grooming a fuckin Snatchsquatch. I got hot towels, a basin of hot water, clippers and a razor. Spread em. I’m killing that fuckin thing.