• SabinStargem@lemmy.today
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    21 hours ago

    DM: “You rolled a natural 1 on your charisma check. What is your response to your neighbor’s question?”

    Player: “I was searching for my pussy!”

  • Cid Vicious@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    “Oh haha sorry I was talking to my cat”

    I really wonder sometimes if people are actually so bad with using their words or if they just play it up for Internet clicks.

    • Nima@leminal.space
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      1 day ago

      he probably did say that after. but the story is still funny so I’m glad that person shared it.

      i got a kick out of it.

    • angrystego@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Why not both? Anyway, I know this does happen irl. I was once leaving an office and the lady there had a really cute chihuahua, so I said “Goodbye” and added cheerfully: “Bye bye, sweet creature.” It took me about a minute to realise I didn’t check whether the lady saw I was talking to the dog. Hopefully she’s used to her dog getting lots of attention - that’s what I tell myself now to cope.

  • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    This is why I only talk to my cats like adult humans.

    One is a lawyer and the other an investment banker.

    It’s important to not coddle them.

    • Landless2029@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      Mr. Pickles the vase was found on the floor in pieces by the lady of the house.
      You were witnessed on the mantle shortly after the incident.
      What is your defense?

      Meow?

      That’s convenient. It seems to be an odd coincidence indeed. And yet we have a long list of witnesses of your blatant disregard for elevated objects.
      I myself witnessed you dislodge a flower pot last week. Can you explain that as coincidence?

      Mrow.

      No. No you can’t. With all these repeat offenses how are we supposed to judge you?

      Meow.

      Yes I see. That’s right. You are indeed a cat. We don’t judge you. You judge us.

      • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca
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        19 hours ago

        Sometimes it feels like it’s their house and I’m just living there, but I earn my keep by providing meals.

    • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Your cats are lawyers too?! My 3 boys just made partner at “Cat Butt, Cat Butt & Tail”

    • Sabata@ani.social
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      1 day ago

      I talk to my cat as if I’m summoning a demon. I’m sure the old lady next door is concerned.

      Neth’Sin the Eternal Tormentor can only actually torment you by pissing off the side of the cat box, or a protest turd by the toilet.

  • Skua@kbin.earth
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    1 day ago

    I did this recently when I walked past someone’s garden and their pet sheep came over to see me. I was happily chatting away to the sheep about how much it had been munching away and how hot it must be with all that wool when a very confused postman I had not noticed responded

  • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    I hope my neighbor doesn’t think I address her as “my little quadropus.” Especially since mine is an indoor cat and I never talk to my cat outdoors.

  • BurgerBaron@piefed.social
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    1 day ago

    I talk sweet to my cats too! The words aren’t because it’s endlessly self amusing to insult them without their knowing. Haven’t been caught by a stranger yet.