I’ll get the ball rolling:
Dead Man’s Shoe (2004)
Sounds like a tearjerking tale of a recently-bereaved man returning the shoe of a road accident victim he found in a bush to the victim’s late wife, through which they spark a deep friendship that goes beyond mere love. PG-13 5/10 Oscar-bait shite.
A crow on the orient express.
This is the best of the whole thread. 🏆
Edit: playing with this theme,
A Lion and Prejudice
Insides Out. A Pixar horror film.
by Chuck Palahniuk
James Bond: Singlepussy.
James settles down and gets monogamous.
I did it for King and Cuntry
Screenplay - “Goldfinger” (1964)
---- SCENE
James Bond lies strapped to a table and looks on with increasing anxiety at the laser beam between his legs as it moves slowly towards him.
Bond: “Do you exshpect me to talk?”
Goldfinger: Scoffs “No, Mr. Bond! I expect you to ask Moneypenny out. She’s really into you!”
Bond: Relieved “Sure, I could do that.”
Goldfinger shuts off the laser.
Goldfinger: “Good.”
---- END SCENE
ROLL END CREDITS
🎶Goldfinger. He’s the man, the man with the matchmakers touch…"🎶
Lord of the Fly. One man’s battle with forgetting to do up his pant zipper.
That’s not a conch!
Snow White and the Dwarf
Gremlin (1984)
A 160 minute slog of an arthouse film presented in black and white with almost no dialogue, chronicling not much happening over the period of several days to the owner of a chronically cantankerous compact car, which he can’t get to start and thus can’t go anywhere. Unrated; for some inexplicable reason, also subtitled entirely in French.
Waiting for a Tow
Beautiful.
Snake on a plane.
It’s just one snake and Samuel L. Jackson stomps it to death in 2 min. The end.
The Incredible - Instead of his whole family being super, it’s just him. He’s hidden his identity his whole life and is killed by Syndrome trying to reclaim his glory days because there’s no one to come help him.
Dead Poet Society - Just the sad story about the one guy who kills himself
One Samurai - Weeb who thinks he’s a Samurai tries to defend the innocent. Gets killed on his first attempt.
The Magnificent One (so many thing this could turn the movie into but I choose to believe it’ll end up about some religious figure)
Ghostbuster - Just Bill Murray being a quack scientist the whole time, or maybe Egon having a fruitless search for ghosts
One (previously Seven) - A documentary about some billionaire who thinks they’re special and the only one who can save the world.
Star War - Stops after the first movie. Wait, this may make it better.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - It’s just the scientist on his quest to make the first turtle
The Musketeer - Given this movie exists and I doubt many people who watched it could even tell you what it was about, speaks for itself
Transformer - Documentary about the making of the first electrical transformer.
Tremor - becomes a movie about an earthquake that happens in Perfection. Destroys the few buildings in town and they are forced to rebuild or move.
X-man - Story of the last person in the X-men group, basically a rehash of Logan.
The Warrior - Yet another story about some special person in the distant past who’s a great fighter or saves his village from some bandits.
Overachiever
Helps that I’m sitting in front of my wall of movies.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - It’s just the scientist on his quest to make the first turtle
I’d watch that documentary
deleted by creator
1 fast 1 furious
A League of Her Own.
Just 90 minutes of Geena Davis playing baseball by herself. Tom Hanks bullies her the whole time.
- A Fistful of Dollar
- One Amigo
- One Idiot
- Gone in One Second
- 1 Going on 1 (13 Going on 30)
- 1 First Date
- 1 League Under The Sea
- 1: A Space Odyssey
- 1 Maniac
- The Bird
A Fistful of Dollar
The Man with no Name is not in this movie because one dollar was not worth his time.
Christmas with the Krank
A yuletide tale of joy and meth
A League of Her Own
Geena Davis stars as a Dottie, a WWII housewife who thinks about playing baseball while her husband is away at war, but then decides not to and instead spends two hours tidying up the house and getting started on a casserole. The movie ends before the casserole comes out of the oven.
1 Angry Man
The Bird. Movie about one bird being a bird doing bird things.
