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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 4 months ago

This is a JOKE. Its NOT real. But how about a law that forbids masturbation

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This is a JOKE. Its NOT real. But how about a law that forbids masturbation

lemmy.world

Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 4 months ago
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  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    At the moment it still is a joke. But some things that sounded like bad jokes years ago are currently become reality.

    Without any problems I can imagine this text entering the political stage in the not-so-far future.

  • Valmond@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    This will never run, it only targets poor males!

    ./s

    • MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io
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      4 months ago

      This👆, but without the “/s”.

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Well without it felt something was missing but you’re probably right.

  • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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    3 months ago

    'every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate ’

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 months ago

      I know you meant god and not good and I agree with you

      • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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        3 months ago

        Thanks for the forgiveness Mickey. Fixed it!

  • shneancy@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    ah yes, the law that prohibits sneezing without the intent to copulate. very well thought out, so clearly worded, very sane, truly makes me feel like we’re in the 21st century

    • ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝@sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      You are also prohibited from shedding skin cells without the intent to copulate.

      This is just a permanent horny law by breeding fetishists.

  • abbadon420@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I’d believe it

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      They already have Onan as a Biblical source.

  • pH3ra@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    You’re free to go if you just donate the sperm to a fertility clinic every time you crank one out.

    Follow me form more loopholes

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 months ago

      After a week, the clinic would say, “not you again”

      • pH3ra@lemmy.ml
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        3 months ago

        After the first afternoon probably

  • RubberElectrons@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I’d leave, because I’d literally be danger of jail at least twice a day. Straight to jail.

  • yamaonan@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Ah yes, the ol’ Sin of Onan

  • linkinkampf19 🖤🩶🤍💜🇺🇦@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Sadly this isn’t a joke…

    https://billstatus.ls.state.ms.us/documents/2025/html/SB/2300-2399/SB2319IN.htm

    • cAUzapNEAGLb@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Real bill, but he’s trolling

      https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/mississippi-lawmaker-introduces-contraception-begins-erection-act-rcna188938

      • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        So guess you could call this a case of…

        (•_•)
        ( •_•)>⌐■-■
        (⌐■_■)
        

        Poe’s Law

    • jeffw@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      It is, quite literally, a joke. The point is to mock conservatives

      • linkinkampf19 🖤🩶🤍💜🇺🇦@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Oh I misread it this whole time… The insanity in week one alone has really messed with my psyche.

  • Rhoeri@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    This should protect an untold amount of children from future congressional…. “acts.”

  • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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    3 months ago

    How about something that is NOT a joke. If you are a Catholic you only have sex when you are married. You only have sex to recreate. You never have sex that does not end with the man injecting his sperm into his wife’s vagina.

    So what this means is any type of contraception is forbidden. Forget anal sex. Forget blow jobs and swallowing. Forget your wife is really not into it but willing to give you a quick suck and finish you off by hand.

    There are many who say they are Catholics but I have no idea how many actually follow these rules. But they are the rules and as absurd as they sound the clergy still defend them.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I spent 20 years as a Catholic, and I never met one who cared about any of the rules. It’s just a hobby for them.

      • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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        3 months ago

        I have found the same thing. Which always makes me wonder why be part of a group if you are not going to follow the group rules

    • saigot@lemmy.ca
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      There are many who say they are Catholics but I have no idea how many actually follow these rules.

      https://www.guttmacher.org/article/2012/02/guttmacher-statistic-catholic-womens-contraceptive-use

      In April 2011, the Guttmacher Institute published the results of an analysis finding that 99% of all women of reproductive age who have ever had sex—including 98% of such Catholic women—have used a method of contraception other than natural family planning.

      By their early 20s, some 79% of never-married women—and 89% of never-married Catholic women—have had sex

  • mariah@feddit.rocks
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    3 months ago

    im a lonely nympho. id die

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