Ramzan Kadyrov, the brutal dictator of Chechnya and prominent Putin ally, has invited Elon Musk to visit him in Grozny. Kadyrov wrote the invitation in a Telegram post where he praised the Cybertruck below a video of him driving the stainless steel monstrosity around Chechen city streets.
Kadyrov smiled like a child while driving the Cybertruck. “We received a Tesla Cybertruck from the respected Elon Musk,” the post said. “I was pleased to test the new technology and was personally convinced that it is called the ‘Cyberbeast’. A real invulnerable and fast animal.”
The bed of the Cybertruck was open and someone had mounted a Russian PK machine gun in the bed. Kadyrov said the car was a dream to drive and that they may soon send it to his soldiers. “I express my sincere gratitude to Elon Musk! He is, of course, the strongest genius of our time…a great man!” He said on Telegram.
To be fair, Tesla autopilot does a decent job killing people in civilian applications so this feels like a natural move.
Well isn’t he going to be surprised when he finds out just how ineffective it is against gunfire.
It’s not even especially effective against baseballs.
I mean…that wasn’t a baseball. It was a steel ball.
That said, it’s a stupid vehicle that is stupidly designed.
Per the Tesla patent, they took the approach of laminating dissimilarly toughened layers with a special adhesive. Unlike actual ballistic glass using a polycarbonate/polymer layer in the stack, Tesla’s 100% glass and glue is just better than tempered:
…at most a 10% chance of failure with an impact of 2 J.
However this glass type is rejected on the side and rear windows by everyone else, because it slows emergency rescue efforts - laminated windshield glass is difficult enough when no other rescue path is available.
Yes but how will it handle rain?
I’d be more curious to see if it could survive an Iraqi sandstorm because my bet is… absolutely not.
Lithium ion is pure shit in extreme temps… and of course an added load of ordinance and armor… this thing will have less reliability and range than a kids power wheels.
Not to mention, they like to catch fire.
I’d be willing to bet tracer rounds would be very effective. Fun fact- the “bulletproof” doors aren’t actually all that bullet proof.
They might stop 9mm pistol fire, but after a few shots, not so much. Rifle? Naw, it’s going through.
Now I’m just remembering the 80s commercials, where the adults are surprised that the kid is driving…and then the camera zooms out, and it’s a power wheels. Which means if the kid was keeping up with the real car, why the FUCK was this adult driving at like 1/2 a mile per hour???
How cold could the foot of the Caucuses really be?
Poorly.
“and then there’s a shark coming his way”!
I’m in favor of dictators worldwide standardizing on the cybertruck thanks. It’ll be easy to disable all of them with a garden hose or a baseball.
Or an OTA software update. Or some water.
Oh my god, could you imagine Zelensky sending a hacked OTA update to a bunch of battle Cybertrucks and they all just freeze on the battlefield, then turn around and start shooting in the other direction?
I’m going the other way. I’m imagining Ukrainian forces just chucking water balloons at them, and the cars catch fire upon impact.
Or some mud, or a slightly steep incline.
The Cybertruck being used to quash freedom. Musk would have been Hitler’s right hand man.
I’m so glad that this guy’s cat ran away from him.
Cannae fuckin wait for some despot to beef it because the cybertruck somehow killed them.
militarized upgrades
Extension cords that reach all the way back to HQ?
https://youtu.be/-isSZhkAVKA?si=w_5mhFC79DJckXZ9
Better hope it only has to go on the paved streets.
Just don’t slam the door
Great! Let’s hope it won’t rain there! /S
HIMARS:
lolwut
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