Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.
Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It’s for… a personal project.
Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn’t have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?
I am shocked and dismayed.
Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
The woman = Amy Coney Barrett
The pond = DC swamp
The sword = Official acts
Guillotines.
And the billionaires will be the first to try it out!
Sic semper tyrranis
Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days
Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year “off”.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I mean the reality was that the time “off” was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you’ll quickly realize it’s a LOT of work.
Meh,
- They had horrible healthcare they couldn’t afford and WE have horrible healthcare we can’t afford
- They spent a lot of time at festivals and with their communities helping each other and WE spend a lot of time chatting on our phones, but mostly playing games.
- They spent a lot of time outdoors doing a lot of work but keeping active, and we can sometimes go for hikes or walks, but we’re Americans, we as a whole, don’t.
- They knew how an could fix things around the farm, we can watch youtube videos unless it’s electronic or DRM.
- They had witch hunts and misinformation and WE have witch hunts and misinformation.
- All of the food they grew was organic but they had to grow it themselves and we have to pay an arm and a leg for non-poisoned food.
- They spent all day working for the king and we spend all day working for billionaires.
- They have poor starving people during famines, we have a too big percentage of poor starving people (13% of US population was food insecure during 2023).
- They had xenophobia and WE have xenophobia.
Medieval cooking sounds a little bit fun. Besides, maybe, all the slaughtering of animals and heavy use of entrails.
And gathering your own firewood, and water, and making twice as much to prepare for winter, and the strongly reduced options.
I mean yeah, it IS fun for a bit, I do medieval reenactment, obviously I enjoy it. But doing it every day absolutely sucks.
take up subsistence farming
Where?
Plenty of places you can do this. Put “homesteading” into a search engine of your choice and you’ll get more information on the topic than you can handle.
You’ll also pretty quickly realize its a very hard, tedious life and we have it pretty good in many ways in the modern world.
Japan sells rural land for cheap
Is Alaska still giving away free land?
No, but it’s like a dollar per square meter if you’re remote enough…
Depending on the state and one’s farming capabilities, some people could already be halfway there! At least part of the year
My non-joke answer is apprenticeship. Kids could actually learn how to do a valuable job rather than graduating from high school with almost no useful skills.
Thats not medieval, thats everywhere exept the US of A.
Where I live, apprenticeships are officially regulated and for many proffessions you are not allowed to open a business without proper qualification.
The US has apprenticeships as well. Not sure why this person doesn’t think they do …
Trump had an Apprentice
What kind of generalisation are you trying to point out?
They’re referring to the TV Show, The Apprentice, which D Trump was on.
Don’t those already exist in union shops nowadays?
Often, yes, there just aren’t enough union shops anymore.
Wait, you don’t it in the US ? Kids who aren’t comfortable in school start learning a trade at 14, so by the time they’re 18 they have some skills.
I get that it’s a pitty that non everyone reads philosopher or learn about history and science, but on the other hands, some kids are really uncomortable at school, so having them working one week, and going to school one week is an alternative which pulls some student out of the failure cycle
Education in general is quite shit in the US. Apprenticeships, contracts and unions are all things most Americans never experience.
Royal beheadings
As somebody who lives in a kingdom, yes! Fucking parasites!
Thailand? Or the UK?
Netherlands. Thailand and Morocco are even worse I guess. There, you’ll get punished harshly for beinig openly anti-monarchy. I feel sorry for those countries.
The Dutch monarchy isn’t too harsh on lèse-majestè, though I did shift from monarchist to republican almost overnight when our king said that “if you as a civil servant don’t like the far-right party PVV ruling, then you should be free to look for work elsewhere.”
Well gee it’s not that easy for everyone to get accepted in work if you get discriminated, and gee, you need money due to this stupid capitalist system. While all the king does is look pretty and pay less tax… any person in the top 10% of their economy should pay way more.
Thailand’s King is something else. Here’s a photo of him being picked up for his coronation.
I don’t know much about the Netherland’s laws other then you can loose or get your driver’s license restricted if you’re diagnosed with Autism
This is untrue, you can drive if you have autism. However, formally you’d have to undergo an extra “examination” which in practice is a 5 minute talk that’ll cost €300, oh and, you have to pay it yourself.
Even driving instructors tell you it’s bullshit and won’t bat an eye for not doing that.
If you get found out of not having done this examination, and an accident occurs, however, then the police may be an ass. Which is bullshit as there’s your medical diagnosis, and autism should by itself not have consequences for driving ability. Dementia however…
Well, I know of at least one person who’s choosing not to get diagnosed as a direct result of that policy.
Our leaders fighting in the wars they start.
You wanted it… go fucking get it cowards.
Imagine a king fighting his own battle, wouldn’t that be a sight…
On Sep 7, 1944, a group of American pilots was tasked with bombing a radio tower at Chichijima Island in the Pacific theater. The Japanese resistance was strong, and many American planes were shot down. Eight pilots managed to parachute to the ground safely but were caught by the Japanese.
The Japanese military tortured them and then brutally executed them, in at least one case forcing the prisoner to dig his own grave before killing him. After the prisoners were executed, the Japanese cannibalized them, not due to lack of rations but to show “fighting spirit”.
A ninth pilot parachuted away that day. The Japanese sent small boats out to try to capture him, but American airplanes arrived to force the Japanese boats back. The pilot was swimming in the open ocean far from any nearby ships when an American submarine suddenly breached the water in front of him and rescued him.
That pilot then went on to become the 41st President of the United States.
they should also sport appropriate codpieces to match their raging egos
I dunno, that was invented to make beheadings more humane…let’s go back to an axe.
Peasant uprisings, to take down the kings of today.
Let’s do an EU4 Dithmarschen world conquest run from here on out.
Medieval peasant uprisings were inevitably put down and the perpetrators brutally massacred, and also their families.
The first successful uprisings weren’t until the 1800s.
Regicide.
Beheading kings.
Inns, especially if they’ve got an enormous pot of perpetual stew, and people are giving out quests.
That sounds an awful lot like restaurants and jobs…
Yes, but tavern wenches are assumed to be included.
Those are just called lot lizards now.
I can’t believe I just got my CLP and no part of my study material told me or warned me about this term.
There was perpetual stew?
Still is, according to legend
Inns like that existed during the enlightenment up through the invention of the railroad. In the medieval era you slept in a church or maybe someone’s home.
Inns existed in large cities during the medieval period.
The stockade is something we desperately need. Some people need to learn how other people see them. Driving 50mph in a living area, stockade. Making a lot of noise at 6 in the morning, believe it or not, stockade. Being a racist cunt, straight to the stockade.
This was one of the really interesting plot elements in World War Z, where towards the end of the war where they couldn’t really afford to be wasting resources on prisons, they brought back corporal and public punishment. They’d put people in stockades to let the entire community know they were caught doing something like stealing their neighbor’s firewood, or publicly lashing executives who were war-profiteering, and only imprisoning the absolute worst offenders who were incapable of integrating back into society.
For a silly zombie novel, it honestly has a phenomenal amount of prettt interesting social commentary, and is absolutely worth a listen to the unabridged audiobook.
Let’s bring back paddlin’ while we’re at it
Catapults, just to irritate the trebuchet people.
As I understand it, the trebuchet is technically a catapult, I think you are trying to undermine it by referring to the lowly mangonel which is certainly inferior.
If my Age of Empires knowledge serves, you can just crank out a pantload of mangonels and start blasting before the trebuchets have time to set up and reduce your town to rubble
Did you just insult the superior siege weapon?
Guillotines for kings
Dueling. I say we use it as an option to reply to a civil lawsuit. Able bodied adults only, no proxies, and if you refuse then you have to do a trial and they can weigh your refusal as evidence against you.
Swords only, no guns.
The last formal duel in the western hemisphere, occured in 1968. Pretty sure some lemming were already alive at this time, and most of us had parents alive at this time. It was between two french politicians after a heated argument at the parliament.
So it could come back quite quickly.
Omg I found how to get rid of lepen! BRB saving my country
Benefit is that dueling was primarily done by rich white guys over issues of ego, so our tech CEOs would fit in just nicely whilst having the join benefit of removing half of them from the gene pool
I know people who have swordsmanship experience that would to totally sue Musky over privacy violations and choose trial by combat.
Hell, they sound like idiots – so I’m all for this
I demand trial by combat!
