I grew up poor and I think a good measure of whether someone is poor or lower middle class is “Did your parents help you financially or did you help them?”
I never thought about this topic like this. FWIW I’ve done both. Always got financial help (Dad payed for my car, stuff that was not covered by scholarships, vacation, extra curricular classes or interests, etc.) and then when he lost his job I helped financially for a bit while he got up on his feet again. I miss him everyday ❤️
LOL, no.
Somewhat the opposite. My mom started “borrowing” money from me when I was a teenager. I was too trusting, but eventually i learned to say “no”.
Fuck, I haven’t thought about any of this in a long time. My mom was awful.
Edit:
I forgot to explain why borrow was in quotes. Most of the time I never got paid back. I still believe she intended on paying me back, but was never able to get ahead financially enough to do it. In general if she borrowed less than $100 she’d get it back to me and pretty quickly. Over $100 it would take her too long to save it up and she’d forget about it.
So sorry your mom behaved like that. Mine would say “Oh you got birthday money from grandpa? Here, I’ll save it for you” and of course when I wanted it back, she would get bent out of shape yelling that she had given me life and she wasn’t expecting anything in return So why should I. Awful all around.
Kind of. I live with my mother so the house expenses are shared - sometimes I’m short on money and she covers it for me, sometimes it’s the opposite.
Sometimes either of us cover my sister’s financial arse too, even if she doesn’t live with us.
HahahahahahahahahahhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
No, see, I owe them, because they decided, 36 years ago, to have another kid. And now the burden of love falls on my shoulders, after being kicked out at 17 for ‘talking back’? Nah brah, I’m good.
They can both go fuck themselves entirely.
I can’t imagine the kind of shitstain that would kick their kids out as a teenager.
I like to not imagine them either!
I’m doing really well now despite it all. Got some great inlaws.
Yes because nobody will hire someone with disabilities and finding a job is incredibly difficult without disabilities.
My parents are retired from jobs they had most of there life. I only ask out of necessity though.
Fuck capatilism
What type of work do you do
Not at all.
Yes. A lot to be honest and I’m eternally grateful for it. Lots of nice memories of nights out with friends that I wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise.
I was always jealous of the kids in high school and college who were able to do this. It was 100% down to whose expenses were bankrolled by their parents. Not your fault, but it’s left me a little bitter.
Didn’t mean to brag about it. We weren’t exactly wealthy, but my parents put me and my brothers first.
Probably much more than is comfortable to admit but importantly, it was always understood that its gravy and I need to manage my affairs assuming they weren’t in the picture.
Had some slipups but I take it very seriously when I borrowed and would always sweeten the deal by helping out with whatever they needed a hand on and taking care to demonstrate there is an upward trajectory (it wasn’t pissing money down the gutter) and lessons were learned.
I’m really glad for the approach because financial responsibillity was not modelled by the other half and even worse, they used their irresponsibillity with money in combination with abuse to deprive me of control against them and experience in managing that crucial aspect of one’s existence.
My relationships with them is much stronger because its fostered better communication and prevented anything to catastrophic from happening.
Not anymore, since I finished grad school and started a relatively lucrative career. They did help quite a bit during my undergrad and grad years though… which now drives my guilt about not really interacting with them despite them being unpleasant people overall.
No one can buy love, even parents.
A very related question to ask is: did your parents, or extended family, ever help you financially?
Here’s my answer.
Have I ever received help from my parents and/or extended family? Yes. I was able to live rent free after high school while I found my way. When I eventually started college I was able to live at home and commute. My family started a college fund for me when I was little, so I was able to cover about 15% of my in-state tuition. We also got a cash loan from my Grandma to put toward a down payment that we paid back over the course of a few years. Without it we wouldn’t have been able to buy our house.
Am I getting help from my parents or extended family now? No, I haven’t for years. Money and support have started flowing the other direction. I’ve given my mom a (used) car and also let her live with us for a year and a half while she switched careers.
They did. And probably would again if necessary.
Our parents and my grandma helped us so much with everything - getting us groceries, babysitting, taking vacations together, and just helping us out of jams. We had our kids young and without the help from our families we would not be where we are. We help our kids. It’s hard to know what the right amount is- it’s hard to see them struggle, but surviving difficult times builds confidence and resilience and faith in your partner.
No. In fact, I consigned on my mother’s student loans when she wanted to go back to college (and she has since paid them off on her own).
No we don’t talk because they’re crazy.
When my grandmother died, she has willed most of her fairly sizeable estate to one of my aunts, and gave my mother and other aunt each just 25K. I don’t think you could tell your kids that you loved them less than the other than that. I assume my parents will leave me a penny. Which I am fine with.
