Heard a guy respond to another guy calling him a motherfucker with ‘yeah, but your mom didn’t complain much’, so it got me thinking. What are your best comebacks for the common insults you hear from time to time?
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Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries.
Which, IIRC, insinuated that their mother was a snackish breeder and their father was a gin drunk. (Also, that she was past tense?)
She got better
Might go for a walk!
That’s just like… Your opinion man
“Well, I guess you’re no longer invited to my birthday party.”
Said to a random person, it confuses the hell out of them.
Someone asked if I was dropped as a baby due to my performance difficulties and I responded by saying she’d know it would’ve been worth it if she was ever held.
“No u”
Ultimate uno reverse card.
“Sorry, I’m not going to have a battle of wits with someone who is clearly unarmed.”
If someone calls you fat.
Ya I’m fat but I can lose weight. The hell are you going to do with that face.
I’ve heard this one!
Heard of. Heard of.
“I didn’t realise the circus was in town!”
“Were your parents siblings, or was it just a lot of head trauma?”
“I’d tell you to read the room, but we both know reading isn’t your strong suite.”
“What other tricks can you do?”
Ignoring them. Nothing grinds their gears more.
The best response to every insult is “ok”. Say that and walk away.
In my southern portion of the US, I find it better to just let shit slide. Never know who is armed with two short cannons, a .38 snub, and the reason for their lifted truck that has never seen “off” roads.
“I’ve been called worse by better people”.
“keep going with that, it’s turning me on”
So?
Excuse me, did you mean to say that out loud?
and
Insecure much?
I think in general, sometimes a glittering beautiful so sharp it cuts to the bone comeback just comes to mind, and sometimes it doesn’t, so it’s good to remember that what people say, says more about them personally than the person they are talking about.
