People and their kids like to come over unannounced, and without permission, to look at my ducks like it’s the fuckin zoo or some shit.
Need some humor for this situation to ease my frustration
Obvious answer is to give the kids ducklings for every visit. Pressuring kids parents to stop their kids coming over without permission. Unless they want to own duck pets.
Or, the neighbourhood starts a new trend for duckling soup…
Put up a sign that says, “Pursuant to ordinance 347-1236, a sexual predator resides here”
That makes it sounds like it’s legally mandated for there to be a sexual predator there. When the house gets sold, do the new owners now have to go and molest someone??
And to think usually the buyers are the ones getting fucked.
My grandmom used to hang dead birds in her garden to warn others from coming to eat her berries. Maybe this works with kids too, you just need to get a dead one from somewhere first.
Get you some geese
Pro tip - feed them a handful of dandelion leaves twice a day, they’ll be your best friends
I had geese once. It was awful lol
They fucking stink right enough 😂
Waterfowl are absolutely disgusting lmao.
You got a problem with Canadian geeses you got a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.
The plural of geese is “geese” old bean
CAUTION:
BIRD FLUBuild an exact replica of that area right next to the original. They’ll be confused, are they visiting the real ducks or a simulacrum of the ducks?
My joke answer is to directly tell them that they are not allowed to come on your lawn, to not let their kids do the same, and that it’s your property, not a zoo.
This way you’ll guarantee that your house is egged often enough that some of the eggs may not break, and some subset of those could be adopted by the ducks and hatched into baby birds that the kids also won’t be able to come look at.
Had a friend with problem neighbors kids cutting through his yard to get to the store. He was friendly with the parents and didn’t want to stir shit. The neighbors were super all-natural, hippie, no chemical types, so he told them he switched to a new fertilizer packed with micro-plastics and forever chemicals made by Monsanto that he had to sneak in from Mexico because it wasn’t allowed in the US. That fertilizer sure worked because the trail the kids were carving filled right in that summer.
A sign: “Ducks carry Avian flu, please keep 500 Meters away to avoid transmission risks”
Build a moat. It would certainly keep me out.
Update your landscaping to modern fire-swamp and stock it with many rodents of unusual size.
Make sure the place they stand has no vegetation, and is always soaked, so their shoes inevitably get muddy. When they track the mud inside their houses, their parents will flip out and tell them not to go to your property again.
Or just put a motion sensor sprinkler to spray them when they get close.
Charge admission.
Satanic iconography
“I’m assisting as part of an experimental penal system. I just want you to be aware that all of these ducks were once human child rapists who were transformed in exchange for lighter sentences.”
