Then she told me that I’m the only one causing problems about this, and my siblings and father have no objections.
Maybe suggest that one of those without a problem should be volunteered to support this guy and invite him into their bedroom.
Otherwise I don’t know what to tell you. Trying to help people is extremely hard, extremely draining. You absolutely have to have boundaries when you’re helping people.
So the right thing here, while you have that healthy sense of the wrongness of this arrangement, is to stick to your guns.
Your mother should not be volunteering you for charity. Nobody has the right to volunteer anyone else’s resources for charity. So if you don’t like the guy or feel personally inclined to help him, don’t.
That kind of help only helps when it’s genuine. People volunteering others for this kind of thing leads to burnout.
It’s okay to give. Just not when it feels wrong to you. That means there’s some resource of your own that, even if you aren’t consciously aware of, will get depleted by doing the help.
Maybe suggest that one of those without a problem should be volunteered to support this guy and invite him into their bedroom.
Otherwise I don’t know what to tell you. Trying to help people is extremely hard, extremely draining. You absolutely have to have boundaries when you’re helping people.
So the right thing here, while you have that healthy sense of the wrongness of this arrangement, is to stick to your guns.
Your mother should not be volunteering you for charity. Nobody has the right to volunteer anyone else’s resources for charity. So if you don’t like the guy or feel personally inclined to help him, don’t.
That kind of help only helps when it’s genuine. People volunteering others for this kind of thing leads to burnout.
It’s okay to give. Just not when it feels wrong to you. That means there’s some resource of your own that, even if you aren’t consciously aware of, will get depleted by doing the help.