For context: I’m a young adult, I don’t think I have any serious brain issues yet.
But I’ve recently been just trying to remember the past and although its kinda tragic, there are very interesting moments and I want to keep these memories forever.
But brains aren’t perfect, and I’m just so scared.
Even re-reading the events from a journal woudn’t exactly be the same as remembering it.
Idk, I’m kinda just obsessed with some memories for some reason. Don’t wanna let go of it. Having this “backstory” (for lack of a better term), is what drives me forward, without those memories, like if I get a concussion and forgot everything, I wouldn’t really be… well… “me” anymore, and the thought of that is terrifying.
I also feel this, also talking to my parents about things I think i remember only to be told I’m imagining it.
I dont really think theres any nefarious paranoia-inducing plot, but its fun to pretend sometimes.
I remember my brother got mad at me and tied me up when we were alone at home. I talked about it like a few years ago and my mother denied it happening. Like no wtf 6 years old me couldn’t have made that up, I literally remember the pain of just not being able to move, and its why I’m still scared of my older brother. And like if I push the subject, she’d make excuses like: “If that happened, he [my older brother] was still a child, you can’t blame him too much” or some BS. Bro he was 5 years older than me. Wtf.
Like I think I’m the only person in the entire world that still remembers, that shit literally cannot be forgotten. Abusers just delete their memories and pretend they are good people.