For context: I’m a young adult, I don’t think I have any serious brain issues yet.
But I’ve recently been just trying to remember the past and although its kinda tragic, there are very interesting moments and I want to keep these memories forever.
But brains aren’t perfect, and I’m just so scared.
Even re-reading the events from a journal woudn’t exactly be the same as remembering it.
Idk, I’m kinda just obsessed with some memories for some reason. Don’t wanna let go of it. Having this “backstory” (for lack of a better term), is what drives me forward, without those memories, like if I get a concussion and forgot everything, I wouldn’t really be… well… “me” anymore, and the thought of that is terrifying.
I have this nightmare of a traumatic experience when I was around 5-7 when I was just outside alone, after being in a fight with my brother, and my parents were at work, and I was still too afraid to go home. So I was alone for several hours wandering around tge city. (Stupid thing to do, but I was a kid and my brother was, in my mind, the danger)
I mean… I just…
Idk…
That could never be forgotten.
And I’m not sure I want to forget. Or if I could even forget.
Does forgetting that really improve my life?
It just lets my guard down around family members.
The other event is the unjustified arrest incident. I mean am I supposed to pretend that didn’t happen and that the cops are the good guys? Sorry I think I’m gonna need that memory.
Without the memories, I can’t navigate life and avoid the dangers.