I pick up the newspaper and everyday there’s a new horrible story about him that’s somehow become trite since all this oaf does is disparage other, loaf about, and take what he can from others to engorge himself. He’s ruining this country in every way, shape, and form but somehow he has millions of cult followers. He’s above any punishment yet forces us to suffer his existence like some sort of sick, kafkaesque joke. This absolute piece of shit has no redeeming qualities and yet we let him keep breathing air. It’s impossible to scroll online without seeing his gross orange face pop up on screen. I swear if I hear him say “I hate Mondays” or “I love lasagna” one more time I am going to lose it. Save us from this Garfieldian agony.
You had me going there
Its so nice to be able to say you hope the fascist dies.
We now live in such a world where you can’t wish for evil dictators to die lest the billionaire who owns the platforms you use has his sensibilities upset.
I’m gonna cry my eyes out when I lose the fat narcissistic orange I have at home.
Cat tax, pay up.
An American visits the front page of a popular news site, then closes it after a quick glance. They do this everyday, never reading any of the articles.
One day, the site recognized that the same browser fingerprint has been doing this several times, so the site sent a popup to that user’s webpage (the website have not gotten paid by the advertisement companies because the webpage was closed too quickly for the view to be counted), asking the user why they only look at it for 5 seconds, they reply: “I’m waiting for a news article about a certain event that would become nationwide news on the frontpage and celebrated by about half of the population, but I’m not gonna eleborate on what I mean, due to potential legal troubles, also how the fuck did you track my browsing?”
(Its a modern variant of the Soviet Newspaper joke)
Hey! That’s no way to talk about my cat! oh wait
Hello, John.
The Land of the Flee
Someone used the monkey’s paw to wish politics not to be boring.
Yes, Joe Rogan
I was told there’s an English lord who was so reviled that when he died they rolled a massive rock onto his grave lest he ever rise again (rumors that he dabbled in magic might have informed the decision).
That would be appropriate for Trump. Or similarly, bury him in a deep geologic repository (where we put our vitrified spent fissile fuel beneath signs warning THIS IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR ) as a reminder of how we never want another person like him to exist.
Nah just throw him in a dumpster and be done with it
That would rob countless generations of the ability to piss on his grave.
Hang Him from something and let that fucker rot.
Fine, I’ll set it on fire with kerosene. Just in case.
Why wait to roll a huge boulder?
That story gives Gruntilda from Banjo-Kazooie vibes
I love this song from 1941, it’s about some other guy… But the sentiment is the same
His grave will be the greatest urinal the world has ever known.
Calm down Nermal!
I’ve decided to hold parties for when horrible people die. Fuck them.
There’s an appropriate song called “Gonna Throw a Party (When You Die)” by a band called Attractive Eighties Women.
Not only will I celebrate it, I want to do it where his grieving followers can see my exultation.
Maybe Garfield can be our Winnie the Pooh
