“Hey honey, would you like to go to Cannibal Island? Oh no, don’t worry, it’s just a name.”
“What he meant is Cannibal Island is actually a peninsula”
You can cannibalise my peninsular.
The cave of hopelessness!
Why do they call it the cave of hopelessness?
Oh dear not my lad, for it was named after its discoverer, Reginald Hopelessness. The first man to be eaten by the tunneling horror!
“I hear we’re going to Ape Island.”
“Yeah, to capture a giant ape! I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.”
“Why, what’s there?”
“Apes. But they’re not so big.”
“…Don’t worry it’s just a name”
Attacking by monkeys
“He said it was just a name?!”
“What he meant was monkey attack island is actually a peninsular.”
Women and seamen don’t mix.
Removed by mod
How many monkeys would you have to kill to become king of monkey beach?
Do they even let you kill them?
Let?
A lot of beaches have rules. I’ve found many are even particular about wearing clothes while sunbathing.
When I’m monkey king I’ll make the rules
As someone from Thailand, monkeys here are no joke. They are mean and act like a mafia gang. There are many places like this; tour guides always warn you not to bring your bags down with you and leave them in the car. Monkeys will suspect you have food in your bags and snatch them away.
What else would you keep in your bag?
A monkey bomb
Is a monkey bomb better or worse than a bat bomb?
If we’re talking about something from Batmans armory then better. If we’re talking about the WW2 Interstate TDR a drone developted by the US military whos counter intellegence was most likely the infamous napalm bats, then its worse.
Going to a monkey beach after a monkey attack on that beach? To me that sounds crazy. You may also say its a little looney. Quite daft. A silly decision. And dare I say it? Bananas?
There was a series of movies about something similar, but with dinosaurs.
Jurassic Park, et al.
Image Transcription:
A world news article by Associate Producer Savannah Meacham titled Aussie family regrets visiting a beach notorious for monkey attacks after being attacked by monkeys at a famous monkey attack beach in Thailand. Below the title is a paused video with two photos side by side, the left one shows a person bent over with a long-tailed macaque running at them, while the photo on the right shows a woman with her hand over her mouth, looking shocked.
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
All I could think after reading the article is a bout the lipsync song “Stop It Now”. I had to ask ChatGPT for a version for this, here is the beginning:
Rockin’, rockin’, on the shore so fine, To the beach in Thailand, we’d align, But those monkeys came, causing a bind, I said, “Monkeys, hey! Leave us behind!”
Everyone warned us, “Don’t head there, beware,” “Monkeys gonna come, with a wild glare,” And they did, and they did, and they tore through the air, No escape from those monkeys, just despair.
Nothing to do, but shout as they pounced on me, Tried to flee, fell down, laughter from kids did we see, Then, hmm, got hit in the neck with a coconut spree, Mm-hm, hm-hm, how’d it happen? Baffling to me.
Gotta dash, dash, dash (leap) I’ll be your backpack while you hurry, Dash, dash, dash, leap, and stop! Let me go free. […]
Full version here: https://pastebin.com/YrZHEdxx
I have been to one monkey sanctuary in Thailand, exactly once. As the locals told me: it is fun for about an hour and you have no desire to ever do it again.
Those monkeys are mean.
We need to send Coyote Peterson there.
That’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time.
Long time…
this is the face eating leopards all over again
Removed by mod
deleted by creator
