Take your pick:

3 years old I took a corner to fast at Mervins and almost took out my right eye on a glass shelf, 2 stitches.

6 years old I tried to do a backwards wheelie on my bike by jamming my foot in the front fork… while going down hill and carrying a load of oranges in my shirt. Went right over the handlebars, came to a stop on my chin. 13 stitches.

[…] I really wanted a broken arm, so people could sign my cast, but I never quite managed to break anything.

Common in Florida, this sign warns tourists that locals may be wearing a banana hammock.

IDK man… in my experience vegan balloon-knot and carrots 🥕 🐖🦩🎟️🤙

I’m just guessing on the vegan part obviously…

College is tough, sometimes you just forget your carrot in the shower. —Sigmund Fraud

I don’t think it was possible to ruin fractals 😭

So close! 365 is right around the next 4 corners.

Could have just been washing it for later consumption. Best to see if it’s still warm.

Nobody.

My fraudy-sense is tingling… that said, I tossed $6 at some German company a few weeks ago and patted myself on the back.

Remember kids, you can donate to the Signal foundation… Moxie Marlinspike is an international treasure #changemymind 😉

I could laugh, I could cry… what a fucking parasite of a company. They are basically just PatientTrolls© trolls at this point. Why didn’t I renew my copyright on trolling 😭

Chowtime boys 🐕

Back in my day we’d post a Polaroid a day, but that was only if you were a successful turnip farmer like myself… wait, what was I talking about again?

That almost amazingly, it will get worse.

LOL Cow-kitty hello.

I was incorrect…

Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier said a largely abandoned airfield in the Everglades would be repurposed as a detention facility to house immigrants living in the U.S. illegally with criminal records. He dubbed it “Alligator Alcatraz,” saying any detainees seeking to escape would face alligators and pythons in the treacherous wetlands surrounding the site.

But now I’m wondering what largely abandoned airfield in the everglades was constructed for? Does the C.I.A. /still/ get their cocaine delivered there?

P.S. Yes, all of this was sarcasm.

Visited an alligator farm in Florida when we were kids… the prisoners/detainees/involentary-vacationers —you know, whatever we’re calling them soon are fucked… but the alligators are probably coming out ahead on this one.

Getting DAN DA DAN vibes… UVaporWave? Come back to me I can do better.

That beats my Space Shuttle Certified roll of Cat5 by miles! ;-)

Calm down kids, it’s called sarcasm.

Come on… other than the eugenics movement the 20’s sound decent. Lots of nice art deco a few years later….

Take that with the mid 50’s though the late 70’s and you’re talking about a solid half century. It’s not a bad run given our assumed trajectory ;-)

I was always kind looking forward to seeing the dystopian wasteland phase.

That’s true, it took them 10-15 years but they built a huge service business. I was specifically referring to the loss of the desktop market to the “clones” which has a rough equivalence.

It was more of a cheap shot than a serious prediction ☺️ As long as MS controls the licensing and software this is a completely logical move.