Image Transcription:

A photo of a page from a book showing Jake, Skully, Izzy, and Cubby from the TV series Jake the Pirate. Jake is standing to the right, while Skully flies above Izzy and Cubby who are holding up an oversized scroll of parchment with the text “A good pirate never takes another person’s property!”

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Image Transcription:

Black text on a white background reading:

"My phone: Changes :) to 🙂

“Me:”

Below the text is a screengrab from the movie Pulp Fiction showing Jules Winnfield looking off to the right and saying “I don’t remember asking you a god damn thing”.

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Image Transcription:

A four-panel Mr. Lovenstein comic titled “THIS COMIC MADE POSSIBLE THANKS TO EELS OF WOOD”

The first panel shows an angry pink humanoid standing on a green circle, holding a bunch of asparagus spears and speaking to a yellow-skinned, bearded humanoid barely in the panel. The pink humanoid is saying “HEY GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE HEALTHY FOOD TASTE BAD?”

The second panel shows the yellow-skinned, bearded humanoid in more detail. It has a halo and is wearing a white robe. It’s rolling its eyes angrily as it responds “OH MY GOD! DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU EVERYTHING?”

The third panel shows the still-angry yellow-skinned humanoid cooking the asparagus spears in a frying pan over the open flame of a gas stove as the pink humanoid watches on amazed. The yellow humanoid is saying “SAUTÉ 'EM AND DON’T FORGET THE SEASONING! STIR AND TASTE AS YOU COOK!”

The final panel shows a close-up of the pink humanoid holding a half-eaten asparagus spear with its mouth full and eyes wide in awe as it says “IT’S… DELICIOUS!” A response from off-screen replies “OF COURSE IT IS!”

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Image Transcription:

X/Twitter post by user grace @brainsoupp_ reading “hey sorry I can’t come out tonight I need to research an incredibly specific and random topic alone and in silence for hours on end for no reason at all”

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Image Transcription:

A four-panel War and Peas comic.

The first panel shows two horse-like creatures standing in a field, munching on grass. Text in a yellow box at the top of the panel reads “One Million years from now…”. Palm-like trees with yellow leaves and mountains are in the background. The creature on the left is brown and the creature on the right is grey. The text “Munch Munch” are over the brown creature.

The second panel shows the brown creature with its head raised up and a concerned look on its face, saying “Hey. Remember humans?”

The third panel shows the grey creature now with its head raised up, the background of nature has been replaced by an orange background, which is lighter in a circle around the area of the panel where the creature’s head and speech bubble are. The grey creature is saying “No.”

The fourth panel is a slightly zoomed in version of the first panel with the onomatopoeic munching text moved over the grey creature’s head.

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I wish I were an AI 🙁

Thank you, fellow human 🤖

Image Transcription:

Text at the top of the image reads:

'“Sir, it’s like I told you the first six times. I can’t refund an item which you bought three months ago”

Boomers-’

Below the text is an image of American politician Addison Mitchell “Mitch” McConnell III standing in front of the self-service checkouts at Walmart.

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Image Transcription:

A crazy trollface stick figure hides behind a crudely drawn square, holding a shotgun and saying “I HATE SUBSCRIPTION BASED SERVICES I HATE SUBSCRIPTION BASED SERVICES I HATE SUBSCRIPTION BASED SERVICES” as an army of harp darps wearing blue helmets with various logos on them come through a crudely drawn door.

Around the harp darps are various statements they are making as they move into the room. At the front left, below a harp darp wearing the Adobe logo, is the text “You can afford it, come on”. To the right of the Adobe harp darp is one wearing the Dropbox logo. Behind the Adobe harp darps is one wearing the Netflix logo, and behind the Dropbox harp darp is one wearing the Spotify logo. Between the front four harp darps is the text “Just $15 bro”. To the upper right of the Spotify harp darp is the text “Limited Ads dude”. Behind the Spotify harp darp is one wearing a Twitter (now X) Verified blue tick, with the text above its head reading “It’s less than a cup of coffee bro…come on”. To the right of the Twitter Verified harp darp is one with the Nintendo Switch Online logo. To the upper right of the Nintendo Switch Online harp darp is the text “It’s just a small monthly payment dude”, and to the bottom right of the same harp darp is the text “You use it all the time Anyway bro”. Behind and to the left of the Twitter Verified harp darp is one wearing an Amazon Prime logo, standing outside the door.

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Image Transcription:

An image titled “who would win?”

On the left side is an image of an Asus RT-AC5300 Tri-Band Wireless Gigabit Router, a square, black router with a red line around the side near the upper edge, and 8 antennas coming up from the bottom. The text beneath the image reads “A $350 router with scary spikes”

On the right side is a blue Cat6 ethernet cable. The text beneath this image reads “A $3 snakey boi”

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Image Transcription:

Tumblr post by user iputmilkinearlgrey reading ‘parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say “i would have to advise against that decision, my lord” followed by a crashing sound’

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Image Transcription:

A message from Meta Quest with a picture of quadrupedal orange alien with purple spots down its spine and large green eyes named Bogo from the Oculus Quest experience of the same name. Below the image is the text:

"Hi Kolorafa,

We are reaching out to let you know that Bogo will no longer be supported as of Friday, March 15, 2024. You may continue to wave at, pet, and feed Bogo on your Quest device until 11:59 PM PT on that date.

We admit we’ve gotten attached to the little guy too! There’s still time to grab that just-slightly-out-of-reach fruit one last time. Bogo will appreciate it. And so will we. 🐾 🎆

Thanks,

The Meta Quest team"

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Image Transcription:

An Opinion article by Michelle Cottle reading “Is the Cure to Male Loneliness Buying A Huge 3D Printer?”

Below is a photo of a man using an Extreme 3000 Pro 3D printer with a drawing of a crying man standing to the side and watching him.

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Image Transcription:

Black text on white background reading

'“GOD: Performs miracles”

“HUMANS: Invent camera”

God since that day:’

Below is an image of Pingu from the TV show of the same name sitting in a chair, flippers folded, legs swinging and eyes narrowed in anger, with the text alongside him reading “well now I am not doing it”

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I’ve received a few "good human"s, it seems to be pretty much whatever you like. I don’t know why one person took offense at your question though.

Image Transcription:

Text at the top reads: what is that small jean pocket actually for The first image shows a hand pointing downwards and to the right and the text underneath “a safe place for my finger to hide”, the finger has a label reading “he is so nervous” The second image shows a ravioli square and the text “ravioli” underneath The third image shows a naked, balding grey-haired man with a mustache, waving and smiling from his place inside the aforementioned pocket and the text “a home for kevin”

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Image Transcription:

Post by user micah @hacimrants reading: cooking together is NOT romantic, MOVE out my fucking way 🙄

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I did consider whether or not to try and transcribe the notes in the sheet music but decided it was largely nonsense.

Image Transcription:

A photo of Frodo Baggins from The Lord of the Rings with someone standing behind him, their hands on his shoulders, and a disgruntled look on his face. The caption above the image reads: The other kids at Stuart Little’s orphanage watching a family adopt a rat instead of them:

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Image Transcription:

A four-panel comic called Inky Rickshaw by Ricky Hawkins (inkyrickshaw.com @inkyrickshaw). The first panel shows a man in a blue shirt, yellow tie and glasses, holding a mug with the text BOSS MUG on it. He’s talking to a woman seated at a desk with her back turned to the desk, wearing a white shirt and black skirt and looking up over her shoulder from her phone which she’s holding in her hand. On the desk is a blue desk phone, which is ringing. The man is saying “What’s that noise?”, to which the woman is replying “It’s the customer service line.” The second panel shows a close-up on the man, behind which is a purple background with a flowchart on it. The flowchart starts with a rectangle which splits into two options resulting in circle or triangle. The circle also has two options which both results in rectangles. The left rectangle has three options, the left of which results in a skull, the bottom option splits into two results, one of which is the triangle on the second tier, and the other is a question mark, and the top option results in the initial rectangle. The second rectangle from the circle has two options, the bottom results in a circle and the top results in another rectangle. The circle has two options, one results in a triangle but the other’s result is outside the panel, the triangle’s only option’s result is also outside the panel. The rectangle has only one option that also results in the triangle on the second tier. The man is saying “Are you saying someone actually navigated our labyrinthine phone tree…” The third panel also shows the close-up of the man, only this time he is leaning back slightly and has one eyebrow raised in consternation. On the green background behind him is a confusing line of sheet music that appears to be in an inconsistent meter. The man is saying “…and still hasn’t hung up after a full hour of mind-melting hold music?” The woman is replying from off-screen “Yeah…” The final panel shows the man and woman once again, the man’s hands are raised with his palms up in a pleading motion and his face shows shock as he says “WHAT’S WRONG WITH THEM?!” The woman has now turned her chair around to face the desk and still-ringing phone, fear on her face as she replies “I don’t know, but I’m scared.”

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