(A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)
So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.
The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.
But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.
A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.
Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.
EDIT: made formatting better
The fact that you’re asking the question means you’ve made a lot of progress already. Give yourself real credit for wanting to be a better person. A lot of people don’t ever reach that point.
I’m working on the same things myself and I don’t think there are any simple or complete solutions. All you can do is keep in mind where you want to be, look at where you are, and try to get a little closer all the time.
You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do about it. Don’t act on your anger. Treat everyone as if they are a decent person, even if you don’t really think they are. You don’t have to enable them or accept the destructive things they do, but show kindness when you can and show sorrow, instead of anger, when you can’t.
Do this for yourself. Even if nothing else changes, it will change you. And over time, it will have a positive effect on other people, even if you often won’t know.
You’re were probably talking to mostly trolls, bots, and “hive minded” people. Avoid that daily dose of cortisol from just being pissed off talking to stupid people in general. Here’s a thing you can try: write all the mean things you want to say, but don’t post it. Instead, cancel your post, downvote, and move on. It’s kind of therapeutic, almost like writing a mean letter you’re not going to deliver and destroy. It may not work for you, but being angry talking to stupid people all the time is very draining. Another saying, “You can’t win an argument against stupid people. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
Hate eats away your soul.
I would like to use a different expression but I lack one at the moment.
Stupid, despicable, divisive, angry individuals are plentiful. Small minds that feel empowered through anonimity and the sense of security coming from attacking other from their own space.
I don’t need to tolerate them but you also don’t need to allow their vitriole to poison your mind and sap your well being. It is not worth it.
Dealing with the way the world is is tough. I wish I could tell you how to feel better, but I can’t. Certainly not without knowing you, anyway.
Very few could actually totally isolate themselves, and there’s all kinds of people out there in the world that you’ll have to meet. On the other hand, maybe you’ll spend a more manageable amount of time being angry if you stay off of the internet.
It’s also important just to recognise why you’re angry. You’re probably thinking it’s obvious, but as therapists like to say, you’re feelings don’t come from other people’s actions, but what you think about them. So they’re bigots, what about it? People being bigots makes me sad, personally. And then, if there’s another way to look at things will depends on your values, and what you want out of life exactly.
Best of luck figuring it out.
It’s easy to be hurtful when you’re anonymous. And angry.
These kids who were so hurtful to you probably had shitty lives.
I’m not trying to change your mind about hating them, just offering a possible explanation.
I realize that this is just satire in a cartoon and everything but I don’t really like the negative stigma given the gamers being a 42-year-old gamer at this point in my life and a professional that makes good money and is a responsible adult, it’s kind of annoying to see any group of people painted poorly like this. it’s funny how phrases like One bad Apple ruin the whole damn bunch seem to just always ring true.
I think it’s a bit of conflation going on, kind of how ‘nice guys/girls’ doesn’t actually refer to people who are genuinely nice. (Referring to people who are nice on the assumption that they are owed something in return for it.)
The stigma around ‘gamers’ really boils down to the sort who make it their whole identity, as opposed to people who just enjoy video games. And unfortunately, it’s easy for people to not even care about the difference.
The comic itself does kind of lean on the more general ‘he just plays video games all day’, but I guess that’s why the post reclaims it a bit.
Reddit’s decline was inevitable, sadly. The redesign (and re-redesign) are clearly tailored to idiots.
I read your comment and I feel you. I have a little advice.
First a but about memI “left” reddit for the same reasons. Left is in quotes because I was permanently banned because I argued with a major mod. Specifically I said after they banned me from a sub “ouch ouch ouch, sorry sprained my ankle tripping over 3 identical communities” to which they replied “don’t message me again” and I of course did with a “or what? You’ll silence me? That’s not very intimidating”
Anyway my point is this:
There’s no point in arguing with stupid people… But if you are going to I recommend being dismissive or different. They are prepared for aggression they can’t handle being dismissed. It really messes with bigoted people especially.
An example from my life
Guy at the gas station to me: can you believe the cashier is speaking Spanish? This is America lol
Me: it’s 7 o’clock in the morning. Can you save the racism until after breakfast please.
An example of "different " would be this
I live in Orlando, we have Nazis who protest. I LOVE to walk by and say to a random one “you don’t look good bald. You’re heads too boxy to pull it off”
It fucks with them more than yelling I promise you lol. They aren’t expecting that kind of thing.
The add on comment implies the existence of women that ironically marry men.
My first wife did that. We had a good laugh about it 10 years later and got divorced.
We don’t marry ironically we marry for social/literal survival and cope however we can
You can accept people as people without accepting their positions, claims, or views.
You can be mindful of when to engage in comments or not.
You can shift your mindset from arguing with a random stranger/bigot to defusing their talking points, or not letting them stand when you feel they should not.
People are more than one thing. You don’t have to like everyone. And you certainly don’t have to like all their aspects like the limited view one can see from their online profile or comment.
I don’t think Lemmy is fundamentally different from Reddit either, in terms of how people behave, and how it will develop with more users. You just have more choice regarding choice of instances and communities, and blocking.
If you want to become more accepting of other peoples view points, be mindful of your own prejudices, automated thoughts, classifications, and emotional responses. Consider perspective switches, or considering the value of different views in general.
Get some sleep.
Mvp
You know, intolerant people are people too, just like you and me. They have feelings, hopes and dreams. Biggots are also human beings. Hell, even nazis are people too. If listening to this bothers you, I don’t know how to break this to you…
I guess you’re not wrong, but people or not, fuck Nazis.
Agreed.
I wouldn’t even go as far as to group people into tolerant vs intolerant binaries. Everyone is intolerant about something. Everyone has boundaries. You wouldn’t just let someone walk into your house and start using your toothbrush. But that’s not very controversial!
One of the biggest issues with tolerance vs intolerance debates is the unequal burden of tolerance. When it comes to housing, this is reflected in the classic NIMBY vs YIMBY debates. Many many people complain about NIMBYs but are actually NIMBYs themselves: they just want someone else to bear the burden. For example, they may be pro-early-release for a sex offender while not wanting that sex offender to live in their neighbourhood.
This applies to all kinds of issues. People may be pro-immigration but are they pro-giving-up-their-job to a (lower paid) immigrant? Probably not.
We as a society were much more tolerant and welcoming towards immigrants before we put all of our social welfare programs in place. In a society with no minimum wage, no social programs, and few/no regulations to limit housing development, there is no cost to immigration because immigrants have to claw their way up from the very bottom. That was how the big cities in Canada and the U.S. were built: by immigrants who choose to come here (fleeing brutal oppression and lack of opportunity) and make their own fortunes.
Everyone is intolerant about something. Everyone has boundaries.
Exactly, like white chocolate eaters. To anyone who prefers white chocolate to dark chocolate, fuck you, you’re the problem!
Agreed.
I had to look up NIMBY. If anyone else is curious, it’s: Not In My BackYard!
Oh yeah, that’s like a common household term for me.
I get that they’re people, but honestly, I kinda reject them, even though in an ironic way I guess most of them wouldn’t have a problem with me if they didn’t know this about me. I usually keep to myself. But I do want to accept that for all their faults they also have a right to live, just for my own sake.
I think it’s valid to want to defend those who you feel compassion and closeness to from those you perceive as threats.
Bless your cotton socks, god speed.
I don’t know what that means, because unfortunately I am both autistic and not and english speaker
It’s a British idiom used to show endearment. Don’t worry about not knowing it, I’m near native in English and didn’t know.
Huh. I assumed it was a joke about shooting load in socks.
It’s what some people say to others when they want to call them naive, silly or childish but in the absolutely nicest possible way. <3
Like “you sweet, summer child” except less obviously condescending?
I mean, that’s how I’ve heard it, yes.
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I hope the subreddit you’re missing you’re not talking about some fucked up shit like r/fatpeoplehate
Honestly it depends a lot on who you’re hating and why. this is some therapy level talk here
I’m talking about a niche, but normal sub. I just don’t want to reveal it bc it’s irrelevant and I also don’t want to be identified even if there’s not a huge chance of that.
I understand what you’re talking about. The subreddits for the city and country I am in have been horrendous for the past 5+ years. Back in 2010 they were more helpful and less hateful, but right now I don’t bother visiting them unless I want my blood pressure to rise!
Offline I encounter none of that, but then no one talks about being on Reddit, like at all.
I used to be pretty active in my city and province’s subreddits, and while there were occasional assholes everyone was mostly reasonable.
I went and checked my city’s subreddit the other day and it has gotten substantially worse since I’ve left Reddit two years ago. It’s all people posting the same trashy racist rhetoric about immigrants. We used to post screenshots of those same takes from the local FB groups to make fun of those idiots, now the subreddit is those idiots.
