Hi trashgirlfriend, your username is cute, will you marry me so we can have a short, toxic marriage with lots of good sex and domestic violence?

Lmao that’s a really good analogy. If i had extra nipples, i wouldn’t want “extra nipples day of visibility” but i also wouldn’t want anyone to make a big deal about me taking my shirt off at the beach.

“We can disappear into the world and continue to live in the shadows,” he says. “But ultimately, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

Ugh. I really wish people would quit saying this. I don’t want “visibility.” “Trans visibility” feels like an insult. I want to be invisible, and anything less is torment. Some people will never pass as the gender they identify with, but for them to prescribe their feelings on all of us is not fair.

I haven’t bought a house yet. Been house shopping for about 4 months trying to find something in my budget. I drive a beat up old Honda Civic.

I once thought that if i could ever make six figures, I’d be set for life. I could have anything i wanted. Now i make multiple times that number and i can still barely afford a house that’s big enough for my family of 3. I’m house poor and an emergency could bankrupt me in an instant. I’m in the top like 0.1% of income earners. What the fuck?

it wasn’t rape-rape

It almost never is. Reminds me of that one scene in Bottoms. “Gray area stuff counts too.”

This is ultimately a big part of it, and it’s universal, not just in dating. Most friendships are “friendships of convenience” and the other types of relationships typically progress from there. But in western culture, we don’t have any third places, and so we just plain don’t make friendships of convenience anymore.

I’ve found several long term relationships off tinder as a WLW. It seems to work pretty well for me. The system doesn’t seem to be working for guys, and that’s unfortunate. But a lot of the pressure on women to settle for any man has gone away as women have become more self reliant. The whole thing has become far more consensual and less mandatory for survival. That’s going to influence men’s dating success no matter what medium people use to find matches.

I only want gay sex in media. Straight sex makes me uncomfortable.

the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy

Me when i hit on someone in a stable polycule

Prepagaged food is generally quite bad for you. Rancid oils, high fructose corn syrup in everything, low fiber, mystery preservatives, and so on. When i lived on that kind of food, i rapidly gained weight to 210 lbs. I look at pictures of myself from back then and it’s horrifying. I look like I’m dying. I started cooking my own food from simple ingredients, and within a year i was down to 140. I’ve kept it off ever since.

I used to smoke. Roommate and i quit at the same time and kept each other honest. It worked out really well and we’re both still grateful to each other a decade later.

Discord is where i went. It’s annoying that it’s less indexable, but that’s also protected it from malicious advertising.

Here in the Pacific Northwest, the vast majority of people under 50 seem to be in polyamorous relationships. I’m fairly new to poly, but I’ve done a lot of reading and therapy, and it’s working out pretty well for me.

I do tend to be people’s anchor partner, so I’ve admittedly never experienced the pain that comes from being a secondary when you wish you were a primary. My anchor partner tends more towards relationship anarchy and doesn’t like hierarchical relationships, but i made it clear that my expectation is to be the priority in her life. We’ve made it work, although it takes a lot of communication.

I got medboarded out after a suicide attempt related to being trans in the military under DADT. At least i didn’t get OTH, although I’m still not eligible for a VA home loan.

Lemmy is super uncomfy for women right now. The women i know are either still on reddit or just gave up on social media altogether.

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You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s easy to say “things could never possibly be that bad” when you haven’t experienced it. I hope you never do. I’m guessing you’re a white man between 20-40, and while life hasn’t always been easy, the social contract has mostly held for you.

Wildfire smoke 😭

That’s the thing that has always driven me crazy about our way of speaking about these things. Politicians say “we created x jobs” like it’s something to optimize for. People fear automation because it takes away their livelihoods. But, automating work and eliminating jobs should make people’s lives… better? Why doesn’t it actually? Where did the wires get crossed?

Why did we incentivize making humans suffer, at a grand societal level? Are we insane?