Thank you very much! Know that I really appreciate your help, even if I can’t Thank you individually!
Was a serious alcoholic for 12+ years.
I do things the hard way. I lost apartments, jobs, girlfriends, etc over and over again for years, scraping by at rock bottom. One DUI wasn’t enough, I had to go get another several years later. That’s the one that pushed me truly past the edge to be ready to quit. By that point, I knew very well how awful my addiction was for me. There was nothing romantic about drinking anymore. Just pain and shame. I harnessed my guilt, depression, and self-loathing and turned it into absolute, seething hatred for alcohol. Otherwise I’d fail, again, and swing through a gas station for a 40. I couldn’t be around people drinking anymore. I started buying cigarettes from places that didn’t sell booze. I started painting miniatures for DnD and Warhammer 40k to keep me busy at home, which worked really well for me. I didn’t go to AA, but I had in the past (and I had the nerve to pound a beer beforehand and then insist - to other alcoholics who clearly knew better - that I was sober, to my unending shame).
Addiction is insidious. It talks to you in your own voice, all the time. I had to drown that out with hatred. I started replacing “alcohol” with “poison” in my thoughts. I watched drunk people downtown with absolute disgust, mostly at myself for having acted like them. And I set goals for myself, because a large part of why I drank was out of despair. I went back to (trade) school. Met a great partner. Anything and everything I could do to keep myself moving. I used to just lay in bed, drinking and watching Netflix on my phone, so I forced myself to at the very least get up and dressed and spend my days off in the living room instead. Breaking patterns, you know?
It’s a lot. Sometimes, 6.5 years later, I still find myself thinking a beer would be nice. I have to shut that shit down hard. A year after I dried out, my mom passed from alcohol-caused organ failure. It was a sad, painful end for her. That memory helps keep me on track.
Find something to do. Find lots of things to do. Rewrite the way you think about your addiction and turn it into a conflict you’re dedicated to winning. That voice in your head isn’t your friend, it’s The Enemy and it Wants You Dead.
This is how I quit smoking. Not comparing the two but you need to not be around it, if you are around it admit you are NOT in control and have a trusted friend help you (easier to not be around it).
Everyone says replace it with something healthy. No, replace with absolute hatred and loathing.
People underestimate how powerful anger yoked to the proper cause can be.
“Anger is a gift.” - Rage Against the Machine
Something something dark side…
I know you’re meme-ing, but bear with me.
Media tends to present things as black-and-white because it makes for an easier story to digest. The occasional downside is that people take in the media without adequately critiquing it or pulling it apart and thinking about it. So you get your “something something dark side”, or other people operating on advice about anger that they got from children’s shows when they were 5.
Anger…yoked to the PROPER cause…is powerful. It can be useful as all hell.
Waking up my anger is how I got myself out of an abusive home–it gave me the ability to act instead of just staying there frozen. So, being motivated by my anger got me out of the situation, which bettered my entire life.
Anger is also how I broke the cycle of abuse, funnily enough. I got so angry that they DIDN’T break the cycle for my sake that I dove head-first into self-improvement to figure out how not to repeat it myself. Anger at them being stupid failures is how I drove myself to be better.
Sure, you can think of anger as something that only ever is destructive–but in the real world, that’s not true. It’s a kid’s tale. You can yoke the motivating factor of white-hot anger to get you out of shitty situations or to improve yourself…and you won’t actually get black veins crawling over your skin and red glowing eyes.
Hi, I was joking, you are correct, but in an earlier comment I agreed with the person and said anger was how I quit smoking.
I don’t want to make it seem like it’s on the same level as what you have dealt with and I really feel like you seem like a strong person that has been through something that can break you.
Again, I was just goofing around, and basically agree with what you said here, despite my attempt at levity.
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I was able to quit drinking 10 months ago thanks to the piss water know as Miller Lite and the ready availability of delicious Nonalcoholic IPAs. Thought I would be a drunk till the day I died. I slowly stepped down from drinking everyday for over 10 years by starting with 2 Miller lite tall boys and slowly stepping down to 1 then a smaller tall boy, and then finally the smallest tall boy. I had previously quit a year before and had terrible night terrors, then i relapsed aftet my father unalived himself. Still can’t believe I’m sober, recently went on antidepressants and have gone over a week without smoking weed because i guess i had a severe serotonin deficiency which the antidepressants fixed. Its crazy being sober and I like it. Highly recommend reading Epictetus’s Discourses or other stoicism to help you build up the mental fortitude to quit. It ain’t easy, but if i can quit anyone can. You got this shit OP!
The antidepressants are so key to quitting. Most of us were just self-medicating with our addictions. Take away the depression and it is a lot easier to give your addiction up
125% i used to have to be stoned as a mountain goat all damn day just to feel normal, and now I have a normal baseline and only dry vape a little weed on the weekend as opposed to doing dabs all day. Its nice to use weed recreationally again and not use it just to feel ok.
Got a friend off Meth with antidepressants and adderall prescription recommendations. Turns out they had ADHD and self medicated to get their executive dysfunction to function again. They had been using for like a year so I think bamboozling their brain to the safer option was the key.
Also fun fact, lead was banned from gasoline in commercial cars in 1996. Lead also has developmental defects on growing embryos, of which ADHD is common. Like a 60% chance with toxic exposure, the rest of the % is Autism and Cerebellar Hypodysplasia (undersized cerebellum).
Addiction is so hard. It’s also so easy.
You just need a fucking purpose. Get into something that will consume you in a positive way.
Buy a nice backpack, and get into a group with some novice backpackers. If you find the right thing, weaning off addiction is kinda cake. If you don’t find the right thing, it’s impossible.
Hiking worked for me.
For me it came down to feeling seen within a group and feeling connected to that group through some higher purpose (hiking).
Yes! And to add to purpose, human connection sounds like an important part of your story there. We’re meant to live in community and connect with other people. Stopping an addiction in isolation and without a sense of purpose is very, very, very difficult.
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Meetup App!
I used to smoke. Roommate and i quit at the same time and kept each other honest. It worked out really well and we’re both still grateful to each other a decade later.
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I am coming up on three years sober from alcohol. I lost my dad to alcohol and many other members of my family have gotten cirrhosis so I knew I needed to make changes. I joined the stop drinking community on reddit before I was ready to officially quit, and lurked. I loved hearing their stories and reasons why they were doing what they are doing. From there I learned about a book called “This Naked Mind” and reading it was just what I needed to finally kick alcohol. It talks about what alcohol does for you, what it doesn’t do for you, and what it claims it does (but doesn’t actually do) and it is all backed by science. It really resets the way your brain thinks about alcohol and by the end, I didn’t really want to drink anymore. I realized that alcohol doesn’t help me relax (it decreases my baseline so that I needed alcohol to feel normal). And it helped me better understand that alcohol is addictive and that anyone who drinks enough will get addicted- there isn’t anything wrong with me for becoming addicted.
Since the book, I’ve been able to stick with sobriety and been really happy with that decision. My health is better, I’m more relaxed, my sleep is better, etc. I replaced cans of beer with cans of sparkling water, and I am surprised at how much I love that stuff. I now know I can’t moderate drinking- there is no such thing as “I’ll just have one.” And that is ok. I’m happy with my non-alcoholic beer at happy hours and sparkling waters on normal nights. My friends and family are really supportive of my decision and that makes a difference too. I wouldn’t have stuck with it if my friends pressured me to drink.
Whatever your addiction may be, find a positive community of people that have similar view points to you. Alcoholics Anonymous wasn’t for me, but /r/stopdrinking was. Try a few things and you’ll find your people. Good luck to you! You are stronger than you think!
Sierra Nevada had a Sparkling Water that is infused with Hops and it has replaced NA beer, cant recommend it enough if you were into hoppy beers!
Stopping was the easy part, I drank myself into liver/kidney failure. I’ve stayed sober one day at a time.
Getting counseling, a psychological evaluation and a prescription for my anxiety helped me learn about the root cause of my drinking and how to manage it in a healthy way.
