“Hey, I need to use my lunch break to get away from work things/have some quiet down time. Give me a break and I’ll be better for the afternoon.” Subjects you don’t want to discuss: “Oooh, that doesn’t seem like a topic appropriate for work. What about [thing you are comfortable discussing, work thing].”

I highly recommend becoming very willing to spend time discussing one personal thing so they feel like they’re making a connection. I use my pets, but you can use a sports team as some others suggest, or a hobby you don’t mind sharing, like your progress on painting minis/knitting that sweater/book you’re reading/ latest album from favorite musician. Extroverts want a connection, give them a little and redirect to that thing when they probe.

If your boss persists in bothering you at lunch, ask if you should clock in since this is a work discussion, or if it’s really your personal time to use as you wish.

If they persist in bringing up wildly inappropriate topics like sex, say that you’re uncomfortable. Make it obvious they’re being weird at work. saying “I don’t like discussing my sexual preferences at work”, or similar, loud enough for others in the breakroom to hear should make them uncomfortable. if that doesn’t get you anywhere, there are protections in the US for some things. go to HR, explain you’ve tried explicitly telling them not to talk to you about whatever inappropriate topic, and it’s continuing. Call out that you’re feeling harassed by them continuing to bring up this subject that is not work related. HR might want to try a mediated discussion about it; 1 is reasonable, multiple is not.

if it gets to where you need HR and are worried about your legal rights, find a local worker’s rights lawyer to provide advice. they should be able to tell you what is reasonable effort from the company to fix the situation. be prepared to lose your job if it gets this far.

you shouldn’t have to discuss sex at work as small talk. it can come up in some jobs (medicine, sex work) but shouldn’t be in most workplaces, and there are protections from this kind of harassment in the US.

quoting from your link: No reductions were statistically significant. Only one difference [re:disease] was statistically significant.

plus it was done by a pro-vegan group with obvious bias. so the results from the pro-vegan funded study are not terribly good at supporting veganism for cats as more healthy. it’s about the same, maybe less disease (severity of disease wasn’t covered in the abstract but would be a significant part of a decision). show me a study not funded by a pro-vegan group with similar or better results before I consider feeding my pet a diet very different from their natural diet.

my cat loses it if she wakes up and can’t see me. I live in a studio. there aren’t a lot of “out of sight” options. at one point, there was just a screen between me, in my computer chair, and her, on the bed. we still did the whole call and response.

she doesn’t look for me, she just starts yelling until I respond.

mostly, yeah! it was a very dysfunctional childhood, but we’re all mostly functional adults.

my HS graduation was on a Saturday, and my mom’s attempt was the following Monday. so I guess this has that beat for awful.

chronic depression really distorts your view of things. my mom honestly didn’t think it would taint my graduation or change my plans. sort of, like she was already gone from my life, so she was just trying to wrap things up?

unsurprisingly, even though she wasn’t successful, she still managed to screw me and my younger siblings up for a fair bit. it’s been 20+ years, and only one of us still is in contact with her.

my cat thinks “up” and “down” both mean “get off my lap”.

she also recognizes that when I sit and talk to myself (voice chat) is perfect petting and cuddles time. she’s well known to my therapist and team because of zoom meetings.

and both guinea pigs and the cat have all decided that we do cuddles about 830pm. I thought it was “after work and dinner, sometime before bed”. but the number of times I look up to see what the fuss is, and it’s 830 and all 3 are looking at me expectantly… I assume they figure the time by daylight, because it’s not consistent when I get home.

not the OP you replied to, but someone else who loves the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain book.

I think 5 days is ambitious. but a lot of what the exercises are doing is training you to see a different way. so it’s not impossible.

someone neurodivergent may struggle to get what the exercises are trying to teach or to reach the point they’re aiming for, so it might take them longer. those more inclined to pick it up faster probably aren’t going to need the exercises in the book; it’s already natural to them.

as we grow up, we learn “this is what a tree looks like, this is a dog looks like, this is what a car looks like”, etc etc. the way we see a new car then goes through that filter of “this is what a car looks like”. those filters are great for quickly identifying things and generally being a human in the world, so you don’t get hit by a car while you’re still figuring out if it is a car.

but those filters get in the way of drawing accurately. your eyes aren’t literally filtering anything; that’s all in your brain. so you need to learn to stop that part of your brain when you draw. that’s the biggest part of being able to draw decently. the rest is technical skill you get with practice.

I’d still recommend the original OP look for an artist collaborator, since children’s books need the illustrations to be as strong as the writing. there’s no way to get there in just 5 days.

oh weird, Lexapro failed entirely at managing my anxiety. worked great on the depression side, which meant that dampener of the anxiety wasn’t in effect. spiraled quick, had to email the doc for an emergency appointment.

Effexor (venlaxafine) is the first SNRI I’ve tried and it’s been like magic.

in the same vein, I’m so glad they reprinted Glen Cook’s Black Company books, because no one I tried to get interested in them would read them with the old covers. I’m not sure even I did. I certainly can’t imagine I deliberately chose to pick up a book with this cover.

when we had a lot of cats and the occasional intruder cat, “duels” between one of ours and one intruder were most common. meet on neutral territory, hurl insults, maybe there’s an attack but maybe not. and only after sufficient insults.

this was a specifically male behavior, too. we got a young female cat, and the 2 older males were horrified when she came and jumped their opponent. she was very no holds barred, get off my lawn, don’t mess with my guys. a different time, a different young female cat was equally willing to jump in swinging claws and skip the insults.

typically the other male cats would be hanging around, observing and jumping in only if things moved from neutral ground to their territory.

I like this. in my family, I figured it out at about 3 or 4, promptly told the 2 year old, and broke the reality to the next two before they could even start to believe there was a real Santa.

instead, Santa was the spirit of Christmas, so any of us could be Santa if we gave presents with no expectation of recognition or a return gift. much more Secret Santa than magical man leaving presents.

this did lead to several years where the youngest would give away all their toys, only to then reclaim them after presents were opened. generosity isn’t an easy concept for the pre-schoolers.

she doesn’t drink tea (yet), but she does know head butting my hand when I’m holding a cup is a bad idea!

My cat recognizes the tea kettle whistle as time to get off my lap. “Up” and “Down” mean the same thing (you need to get down so I can get up).

She’s not the brightest, but a warning that she needs to move means I get clawed less.

I live in WA state. the state and county response to covid seemed very informed and measured; they based policy on WHO and CDC recommendations, tried to ramp up and ramp down to make it easier, and were transparent with the numbers they were looking at.

We still saw our medical facilities struggling, especially as one of our neighbor states was not particularly great at covid prevention. so when their situation was bad, a lot of them came over here.

when Roe was overturned and abortion bans started going into place, our leaders realized our neighbor was going to once again flood our medical system. so they started stockpiling abortion drugs and doing what they could to increase support.

they’re also trying to increase public transit, which I appreciate. it’s plagued by corruption and delays, but they are slowly making progress.

I think there’s a human bias towards certainty, to believing in true facts. research is work, and when it undermines personal certainty, there’s an urge to just go with whoever does seem to be most certain. if you can’t be sure of the facts on a personal level, go with the guy who is loudest and most certain. and because people seeking to relay truth will make room for doubt, conspiracy theory guy wins.

understanding probability helps here - if 90% of climatologists are 90% sure of climate change, their doubt doesn’t make climate hoax guy right. the podcast 538 covers politics, but goes into polling theory, statistics, and probability in ways that make it easier for me to understand and apply in other areas.

I’m in my mid 40s, high school in Missouri. I wouldn’t say they taught media literacy, and despite having a computer lab with the internet, it wasn’t considered.

Research was finding sources to cite for a paper and was a big chunk of the grade in English one year. They did cover what were considered reputable sources, but that meant published non-fiction, news reports, and maybe firsthand accounts (consider the source reputation). They seemed to assume we knew the difference between, say, a real newspaper and a tabloid, or the difference between Channel 5 News and Jerry Springer. The idea that the NY Times or Channel 5 News might have bias in how they presented things, and in what they chose to present, wasn’t considered at all.

Since this was taught in English, it was much more about using proper citations, not full plagiarism, and writing persuasively. I know I couldn’t find enough actual books on my topic in the school or public libraries, so I padded my reference list with the list the encyclopedia used. It worked fine.

To be fair, I do still use questions i learned from that research paper to evaluate info. am I seeing the same info across multiple sources, including high quality ones? can I trace it to an original source, and how much do I trust that source? can I find several high quality, independent sources for a particular thing?

I’ve had several ferrets, and intelligence definitely varies in them, but it’s impressive what their little raisin brains can manage. watching them figure out a puzzle was the most fun.

but it wasn’t always fun. I had a ferret with some serious attitude, and he and my sister didn’t get along. one day, she shoved him aside with her foot and called him a little shithead. later that day, we found her phone, in it’s nice leather case, in his litterbox. he knew exactly how to get even.

same little guy would push open the bathroom door if he could, see I was ‘occupied’, and then get up to whatever bad idea was the current favorite. it took me a bit to catch on, but I got it after the cute little weasel poked in, then went and dragged a family size bag of m&ms under my roommate’s dresser, leaving a trail from my room to hers. little pest knew he had plenty of time before I could catch him at it.

I prefer the seats facing each other, but only because sitting sideways to the direction of motion somehow makes me less car sick.

Definitely still headphones in, eyes down. Pretend I’m focused on my phone or knitting, even if all I can think about is nausea, because i definitely don’t want another awkward bus conversation. Make sure the knitting is contained on my lap and doesn’t spill into anyone else’s seat.

the busses were less crowded post covid here, and the solution seems to be fewer busses so it’s more “efficient”. which is awkward when using it to commute and my options go from “10 minutes early, on time, 10 minutes late” to “30 minutes early or 20 minutes late”.