I used to love doing web design. Was perfect career for me, a mix of creativity and coding. Websites then were art, creative, took risks. Then cms became standard, sites all looking the same. Sites are more user-friendly now, but I miss the wild, weird internet of its early days.

Say “bubbles” in the deepest voice you possibly can. It always make me chuckle when in a funk.

I don’t do well in traditional semester college cuz adhd.

So, never went to college. Started in fast food, last job was 75k/ year tech job.

I took a lot of short term accredited programs. ROP certifications. LearnIT. Studied on my own to test MVP certifications for excel, PowerPoint, word. You can study on your own to take A+ certification exam. I took community college non credit classes about various applied arts.

So, I’d show up at job interviews with no traditional college degree, but a ton of certifications, short term classes, etc. They were fascinated by my diverse tech skills, it showed I had ambition. So I got a lot of jobs easily this way.

Also, try being a career temp for a while. If you prove you’ll show up for the gigs professionally, they’ll send you to more assignments . I did this for a decade, got phenomenal skillset, different industries , lot of diverse experience.

This is a genuine question I’ve wondered about a lot. Kudos for oddly realistic originality.

Borderline schizoaffective, psychotic features. Constantly questioning sanity. Reality often surreal. Dbt, cbt has helped the most. If I practice mindfulness, grounding exercises daily… when mind spirals, reality starts to explode, easier to come back, keeps me tethered.

Tho, once as kid, when I became convinced I might be a disembodied brain floating in a jar, started to seriously freak out. Came home in terrorized panic, flipping madly thru my bookshelf, and reading “summa theologica” finally made the panic stop.

Sometimes, when I’ve researched something and compiled a ton of useful information about a topic… wish there was a lemmy for that. Kind of the opposite of asklemmy.

I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

Well, if we’re in a simulation, then any assumptions we have about definitions, limitations, they may not apply. So, we think storage needs ram, but outside our restricted simulation, it could be far different.

Like, I frequently ponder how did something come from nothing. But I know I’m making assumptions when I ask that question. It may not be linear, may not be either or, there’s something crucial im not seeing.

I used to identify as Libertarianian. Resented taxes, overreaching, infiltrating my life, all about independence, don’t want to be interfered with.

Then I became homeless. Realized how the social services, ssi, Medicare are important. Sure there are lazy people, but also those who genuinely need help, who want to get back on their feet. Care a lot more now about wanting to live in a society that actually cares about the people in it.

Cool. Tks for the reply.

If you speak from experience, fellow human: is it possible to cook dried beans if all you have is a small, bowl sized pot?

Was severe albeit functional alcoholic til age 40. AA never worked. What finally worked was harm reduction, moderation management. Medical marijuana became a thing, and just one hit of a pocket pipe of medical grade indica… good for hours. No longer needed to drink a case of beer each night.

1st few years… I’d say, I’ll let myself have 8 beers this year. Next year was 6. Year after, 3. By then, triggered addiction cravings stopped happening.

So weird, how overpowering the addiction felt when I was trapped in it.

Can’t afford to eat much, cuz SSI, rent increase. Kept having conversations in head, like “I can buy laundry detergent OR have food to last the month.” I’ve lost 20 lbs past few months , after discovering how tasty white rice can be, with just a tiny bit of sesame oil, salt and pepper.

I’ve learned it’s a necessity. If the art itself is good, well done, promotes positive thinking, etc, it’s easy to look past the personal failings of the creator. Like joss whedon. Or the Harry Potter author. Nobody’s perfect, and if I get super puritan about stuff, I miss out on a lot of good content.

If the art itself is shitty, offensive, hateful, harmful… nope, I’m not gonna look past that.

Roman Polanski is tricky. Dude was a horrible human. I don’t want to like his movies, but The Tenant is just so darned good.

Willem de kooning. Early 20s, figure drawing instructor said my live sketches reminded him of de kooning. I’d never heard of him. Few years later, in San Francisco moma, stood in front of one of his Woman paintings, entranced. Thus my love of abstract expressionism began.

The Cheshire cat, and much of Alice in wonderland, hit quite hard, but in a good way. Helped me see that insanity, mental health issues could be a good thing

I spent the last 8 years living in homeless shelters. I’d say at least 95% of my fellow residents were fleeing domestic violence, drug addicts, people out of jail, elderly, pedophiles, sex offenders, wide variety of mental health issues, some physical disabilities.

Mental health was the majority, so much so that shelters work in concert with mental health programs. Some short term crisis stabilization places for homeless people leaving psych hospitals.

Remember one guy in above category refusing to stay in a shelter, said it was more crowded, less freedom. Some people so beaten by bad experiences, trauma, unable to hold jobs their entire life, who’d give up, living on the streets was only stability they could muster.

It is freeing, in a way. But not as romantic, idealized as some might think.

Update 2 days later: Many useful comments. I now have text doc filled with apps, software, podcasts, etc to research, try out.

This posted question was weird, obscure. Could’ve been ignored, ridiculed. Barely slept in 4 weeks cuz hearing voices. Desperately hoping against hope.

So, small group of random internet strangers taking question seriously, offering constructive solutions instead of ridicule? You’ve helped a lot. Thank you.

Perfect, free even better. Will definitely look into that.

Been listening to combo of three audio files, white, pink and grey noise to block out all frequencies. 2 are youtube videos, and designed white noise loop I created in a sound editor program .

No matter how varied each sound source is, even in combo, there will be pattern variations that become predictable on repeat.

Kinda like how fremen walk on the sand in dune. Have to walk with no pattern, to not attract sandworms.