One of my friends just attempted suicide like 30 minutes ago. Thankfully he’s alive (I know bc he texted in the gc, and he didn’t say it like a joke) but I’m not really sure what to do. I told him I’m free to talk if he needs to (I am not able to go see him in person) and another friend who lives near him said about the same. We also had another mutual friend commit suicide not that long ago. What do I do?

  • rustyfish@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Can only talk about myself, so please take this and any other advice with a grain of salt. Every person is different and reacts differently to this.

    The headspace he’s in right now is one of utter confusion and emptiness. For now the dread might be gone. But he is probably far from ok. What he needs right now is love. And I don’t mean hugs and kisses and shit.

    Let me explain it this way: He needs normality in a cozy environment. Friends or family around him to have idk like a pizza together while playing games or watching something he’s interested in. The important part is that they are there in person and not everything revolves around him, but with him. If that makes sense?

    He doesn’t need an intervention kind of “we love you” bs, which to me sounds like hell on earth. He needs to live the love. Cherish others while being cherished.

    I hope my word salad helps. Sorry I woke up two hours too early and my brain is still trying its best booting up.

  • wuphysics87@lemmy.ml
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    1 month ago

    People talk about being there “for” someone. Here being there “with” him is more important. Something as mundane as letting him take a nap on your couch while you fold laundry. The more regular, boring or routine the better. Best if it’s something you can do without talking. That’s harder since you can’t go see each other, but maybe just leaving a video call on or suggesting it to someone else would help.

    • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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      1 month ago

      People talk about being there “for” someone. Here being there “with” him is more important.

      When I’m depressed, having someone sitting on the couch in my living room scrolling on their phone is infinitely more meaningful to me than someone who is miles away and texting me a lot or offering to help with things. It’s probably part of my neurodivergence but having the person close in proximity while at least sort of paying attention to the room makes me feel less alone than having 10 people trying to check in on me all day.

    • Pilferjinx@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I’ve got a couple attempts in my past. For me, this is good advice. There are no words or gestures that would’ve brought me out the mindset I had. Medication and good friends got me through.