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Birthed me. Then they had the audacity to celebrate it each year there after.
On the bright side, life is a terminal STD with 100% mortality rate
My parents weren’t bad parents. They did their absolute best to raise me coming from trauma themselves. They still don’t even know they suffer from it. Their trauma made me feel like I was not good enough. However, I will pass intrinsic value and compassion on to my kids.
My mother passive aggressively bullied me regarding potential love interests to the point I was absolutely terrified of even mentioning boys from my class as dealing with her unfounded teasing was unbearable. This didn’t help at all with my romantic relationships, I was always lacking in support in the area as I turned the topic into a taboo during my adolescent years, at home in particular.
As for my father it’s not much what he did but what he didn’t do. He’s one of the smartest men I’ve ever met, he is good at managing his finances and networking yet he never gave me much support or pushed me to achieve anything in these areas - when he did it was briefly in the form of criticism. Again, this also snowballed into an adulthood problem I’m still grappling with.
Really doesn’t sound bad at all compared to most people out there. Especially without concrete examples.
This isn’t a contest. OP asked what was the worst, and this is it for me. It’s damaging enough for me, and it’s very hard to give concrete examples because it was damage over time. Personality also plays a role; it’s possible that other kids in my shoes wouldn’t have felt this as something too damaging, everyone is different.
Both my parents have been very supportive and nurturing in almost every other aspect but those I mentioned. I know there are some horrific stories out there, I hope yours isn’t one of them.
All I asked for was specific examples
Mom divorced my abusive alcoholic father and married a man from England. I was 14 but she figured I had the maturity to know it would be ok if I stayed with him instead of moving to England with her and my brother. I was angry at her because I was 14 and dumb. She left me in the US and gave me no end of guilt for making my choice once a grew up a bit and realized I made a mistake. Once she and her husband moved back to Oklahoma I took a position in California and now I’m guilted for that at the age of 42 because she can’t see my daughter whom she never bothered to spend anytime with anyway because of her constant depression about having married another different kind of abusive man.
Kicked me out after high school. I ended up homeless for months. That was years ago, but the psychological damage never goes away. To this day I don’t spend money on furniture because I’m too scared I’ll lose everything again somehow. Even my computers have to be laptops forever now because I feel like if I get a desktop I’ll be fucked into losing it if I end up homeless again.
Its fucked up that it is normalized to kick your kid out in the west, no one deserves to go through this and I cannot imagine being that heartless
Their struggles with alcoholism led to me becoming an alcoholic, which nearly killed me multiple times, and did end up killing my mom before she was 60.
Fortunately I got sober a year before she passed. I’d have almost certainly drank myself to death had I not.
When I was 15 or so my dad made a fake AIM address and posed as a girl from my school so he could encourage me to masturbate with the child porn he was sending me. When i got freaked out and stopped responding he called my phone and said that “the girl from school” was bothering him at work and I needed to keep talking with *her". I didn’t figure out that it was him until a decade later later. I remember panicking all night about what I knew was illegal images, so I told him what happened and he just mocked me for not knowing how to do an ip trace to see who it was.
Dad was a real piece of shit. But that was the worst thing he did to me personally.
I’m not an expert but this sounds like a crime punishable by law. Holy crap
So… Did anything happen with Dad and his illegal pictures?
Sorry if it’s personal, I’m just kinda nosy
Nope. It wasn’t until after he died that I went to therapy and started talking about the memory before putting it all together. Dad worked in IT security so I don’t doubt he was careful.
The closest that he came to consequences that I know about, is when the FBI came to his house to interview me. My parents were divorced and I spent 50/50 with each parent. My mother’s boyfriend was being accused of seeding a torrent filled with CP, and the FBI came to ask me if I knew anything. This was around the time of the AIM incident. Dad wasn’t home and was pretty upset that I let them inside.
Anyways, it took nearly a decade and countless dollars in lawyer fees for the case against my (by then) step-dad to be dropped. The FBI can led the court date after we uncovered hard proof that he wasn’t even home that day, but it had already cost him his career. Unlike my Dad, my step dad wasn’t a tech person, like at all. So while I don’t have any proof or idea how, I’m fairly certain that somehow my dad got access to his laptop to frame him.
Which is why I said that the AIM thing is only the worst thing he did to me. Another runner up would be the statutory rape of my mom when she was 14 and he was 20 that led to my birth. Unfortunately, the theme of child exploitation runs through many chapters in my Dad’s angry miserable life.
Wow that’s fucking terrible. I really hope things have gotten at least a little better, if not easier, since then.
Dad - gave mother speed while pregnant with me, then abandoned the family before I was 1, never to be heard from again.
Mom - committed suicide before I was 10
Aunt - Was a raging narcissist who psychologically and emotionally manipulated/coerced me for ten years
Uncle - beat the fuck out of me for ten years
Growing up sure was fun…
Probabky the last night i spent at my father’s.
I had an ear infection that weekend. Ended up having a nose bleed. Apparently i got blood on his GFs babies crib.
I got beat with a hair brush by his gf. He did nothing about all.
Eldest brother screamed bloody murder to get my mom to come pick up me and my 3 brothers while bro had us wait at the bottom of the stairs. Must have been winter because it was dark and i remember wearing a heavy jacket
Public humiliation and forcing me to distribute my hard earned savings to people watching, because neighbourhood kid threw an apple at a rich persons house and I was nearby and didn’t do anything.
Edit: I was little vague, due to being in a hurry.
My father has a tendency to brown nose anyone with wealth or influence. The “rich person” in question recognised me and complained to my father, about me and my friends, even though the apple thrower wasn’t even part of my social group. My father decided please the neighbourhood with public demonstration of “taking responsibility”.
Everyone present was horrified and nobody took my money. That infuriated my father even more, but in the end he was satisfied that I was crying. Lesson learned. Matter was never discussed again.
That “lesson” wasn’t the only one, but that one stuck in my mind.
Well, I know that I definitely have normal parents after reading some posts. Worst would be things like spankings or maybe getting yelled at when I was older. Or the time my mom wanted to beat my ass with a marble rolling pin for how much of an asshole teenager I was being. Did get beat once with a plastic broom, but considering no harm came out of it, I’d say I was a lucky person.
Edit:
It was supposed to be a punishment, but it failed miserably since I didn’t learn anything, nor had any bad consequences come of it, but I did once have my bedroom door removed for a reason I don’t remember. Just set up a blanket as a makeshift door.
My mother has BPD and is pretty vicious, but I think the worst moment was when she told me it was my fault my brother is gay. She HATES the fact he is gay despite really not hating gay people at all and we were raised to love and accept them, and since she hates me she thinks it’s my fault. BPD leads to a lot of disordered thinking.
Goes to show that most people aren’t ready to be parents and need a good hard look at their life before getting into that, as well as at least some sort of parenting education.
My mom died.
My father taught me to hate myself.
My dad faked having brain cancer when I was 9 to cover up a drug problem. He sent me to live with my mom to party while I believed he was on the brink of death.
We have a strained relationship now.
