As in, my major depressive disorder is comorbid with ADHD. Which means my particular brain is wired like someone insane put it together.
The ADHD diagnosis didn’t come until my mid-30s but the depression came before I was 10 years old, so I was trying everything on the market all those years. (Reminder to those of you still working on it that if there’s even one day of genuine joy to be found, all the misery will have been worth it, yes, even if it takes 20 years.)
SSRIs for me are treating a problem with a solution I don’t have. My brain refuses to make serotonin. There isn’t any of it, so controlling it’s uptake is pointless.
So it was just a massive variety of different types of numb, and different negative side effects. Of course, numb was preferable to misery, so I stayed on one or another for long stretches until I got the urge to try and find something that actually worked again.
I want to add another “everyone is different.”
As in, my major depressive disorder is comorbid with ADHD. Which means my particular brain is wired like someone insane put it together.
The ADHD diagnosis didn’t come until my mid-30s but the depression came before I was 10 years old, so I was trying everything on the market all those years. (Reminder to those of you still working on it that if there’s even one day of genuine joy to be found, all the misery will have been worth it, yes, even if it takes 20 years.)
SSRIs for me are treating a problem with a solution I don’t have. My brain refuses to make serotonin. There isn’t any of it, so controlling it’s uptake is pointless.
So it was just a massive variety of different types of numb, and different negative side effects. Of course, numb was preferable to misery, so I stayed on one or another for long stretches until I got the urge to try and find something that actually worked again.