How about an adolescent kangaroo?
Blue whale.
You never said I had to win.
They also never said in which environment:
Stranded blue whale.
In the ocean. I punch it once, it swims away. “Yeah bitch, you better run!”
Doesn’t “think you can take on” imply winning though? If not at least surviving with most limbs attached.
Sit in its blowhole until it suffocates?
Obviously I am not advocating for these beautiful majestic giant beasts to be killed but if it was a life or death thing… I’d be getting in that blowhole like a big old human tampon.
They can hold their breath for 30-90 minutes and can dive to 1000 feet. Good luck.
Their error was sitting in the blowhole. The trick is you have to go in head first so you can steal the oxygen from the whales lungs.
I’m so fucked. But I’ll wedge myself in deep, if I’m going down I’m taking it with me!
(reality would be it’d surface and blow me out like a floppy ragdoll)
Later the whale is telling his buddy about the worst booger he had to get rid of.
They have 2 20inch holes, so make sure to bring a buddy!
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It isn’t blowhole.
Get him on land and just keep punching for a few hours and you might just win!
Your mom!
Ah ya bastard
A blue whale. (they won’t fight back b/c they don’t consider me a threat, and so when they wander away I win by technicality)
A human
Yeah, OP never said the animal had to be non-sapient.
Galapagos tortoise. That’s the largest I can think of without teeth and claws, not fast, and not in water.
Definitely something smaller than a grasshopper… Lost that fight a few days ago.
A giant squid. It would have to be on land though (you never said we had to do it in their natural habitat).
A gnat
Probably a fainting goat.
A blue whale, as long as we’re on land.
1 Lemmy
Definitely not a cat. I have cats and he wanted to go ballistic on me when I tried to get him off the window ledge when there was another cat outside. I had to push him off with a broom or risk losing an eye even though his nails are trimmed. He’s lovely otherwise, I swear.
I can’t believe how strong my 8 lb cat is. It took both me and my wife to hold her when the vet was examining her. It doesn’t help that cats are slippery and have noodle bones.
You can take on a house cat. If it comes down to you or then, and we’re talking for real, you’re going to be able to hurt that cat. You’ll get scratched up, but you can kill it.
I was only exaggerating to be amusing
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My 3.4lb rabbit recently decided I am not a threat and started chilling in the middle of my walkway at night. She now takes multiple shoves to make move. So, not a bunny
(This took years of work on trust I am mostly bragging my bunny loves me)
None, I would think how bad I felt if I hurt the cute furry friend, then tried to pet them instead and get mauled.
