Littering.
When someone carelessly throws their trash on the ground, that says a huge amount about their respect for other people, their feelings about the environment, and even their views on social equality.
It’s a tiny thing, but an immediate dealbreaker.
People who throw their trash on the ground are the same people who yell and get mad at minimum-wage staff, while those staff hold back tears. They are the people who take more food at a buffet restaurant than they could ever even eat. They are the people who think the world and everyone in it owes them whatever they want, but without ever giving anything back.
I bet we all know a person whose car looks like a scary biohazard of old drive-through cups they haven’t cleaned yet, but I’d much rather date that person than someone who throws it all out the window.
I couldn’t date a cop
That’s just a safety tip
Just the tip.
Something something, fuck the police!
Cigarettes
I just can’t do it. They’re trashy and they smell terrible. Almost universally friends/partners I’ve had the smoke cigarettes ash wherever they want- like my patio or door step. I had an ex that would chain smoke, ash in front of the door, then put the cigarette out and leave it on the steps.
So now everyone that walks by sees our entryway covered in ash, cigarette butts, and burn marks. Just looks and smells like shit.
That same partner kept an ash tray in the patio. It filled up with water when it rained, and she just… left it. So now the patio smells like soppy wet shit too.
Ever since then cigs are a deal breaker for me. If you don’t respect your body how can you ever respect your environment or relationship?
Anyway.
100%. I get headaches really easily with the smell of cigarette smoke. Absolute no go from me.
Massive red flag about multiple issues from hygiene to risk-taking to basic scientific literacy to propensity for addictive behavior. The list goes on and on.
Smoking.
Not at all trivial!
For some it is. Sadly
Celebrity/billionaire worship. Just no. It means their values are wildly erratic.
Uses tabs instead of spaces.
But once they go through the compiler they’re essentially the same!
// think people missed the reference
Mixes spaces and tabs in the same line
That’s not a trivial thing, that’s a war crime
So really any tab user in any language requiring alignment then?
Incapacity to discuss random topics just for the fun of it. Taking herself too seriously.
Misuse of the oxford comma and bad speling.
How can one misuse the Oxford comma?
Not giving a fuck about it.
She said “lol”
Like actually said “lol”. As if it was a word.
Didn’t laugh. Like, she replaced her laughing with this, saying “lol” when she found something funny.
Lol
Lol, or el-o-el?
My home theater. I love movies and if someone said I couldn’t have it hooked up to the main TV I’d walk. I’d rather date someone who either enjoys it or at least it’s neutral on having there.
Also I don’t care if they have a garden. But it will be classified as a hobby, not as yard work or house work when they work in it. Because I’ll never work in one.
If it’s something you want and your partner doesn’t care one way or the other about, it shouldn’t factor in.
If you want to make the candles you use around the house, maybe they smell nice, maybe they get used, maybe they’re cheaper than store-bought, but that’s a hobby.
If you do a bunch of baking, especially for people outside the home but even inside it, and your partner isn’t all about you cooking, that’s a hobby, and you clean up your own mess. That’s not chores (unless you’re getting paid).
Chores are necessities to keep the communal house going, not anything that takes effort.
I agree with the basic maintenance thing being a chore, but I understand where OP is coming from. So if one person out of the pair decides with previous warning that they want to plant a bunch of stuff then it’s their responsability to take care of them.
In my situation for example, I live with my partner in an apartment, and the vases are his to maintain and take care of. We’ve talked about where we would live next and my parter wants a yard and I don’t. So I’ve forewarned him that if we have a yard in a future house it belongs to him, and any decisions to move to a house with a yard come with that agreement. This is all very different situation to living in a house with a yard already, or not having the choice when moving for some reason.
Exactly. I fully agree
I don’t expect help in the garden on an everyday basis, no way. I do what I want with it, don’t take requests, so it’s mine and my responsibility. But since everyone gets food out of it, they do help occasionally with bigger things; carrying dirt from front driveway to garden, building planters.
Home theater, who cares? Wouldn’t everyone put that on the biggest TV? We have only one TV but if there were two of course the bigger one would make the most sense.
Oh, on that - TV in the bedroom is a no for me, too. Doesn’t matter for casual, but if I am living somewhere I never want a TV in the bedroom. Music speaker yes, that’s fine. TV no way. Thankfully we’ve had space outside of bedroom for gaming and TV and computer, that is very important to me.
Incompatible taste in music. My taste is the benchmark they have to meet and I will not compromise, obviously.
this is why i like to date people who don’t care about music.
Music is incredibly important to me, and the music tastes of me and my girlfriend could not be much more incompatible. We have a great relationship though, it can be a strength: we challenge each other to broaden our horizons. But it does lead to suboptimal car rides haha
Picky eater or stuck on music from their youth.
Someone else mentioned libido mismatch, I don’t consider that trivial.
I will say on the picky eating habit, that can be a common behavior seen in autistic folks. With me my picky eating stems from texture - if a food feels weird in my mouth I get nasty gag reflex or vomit. Doesn’t matter how often I try, there’s foods and ingredients that, if I chew on it, I will vomit. It fucking sucks. I have to swallow my edibles whole with water cause most gummies make me vomit if I chew them.
Obviously not all picky eating habits are autism related, but myself and the other autistic picky eaters I know are just as frustrated, if not more, about having those habits.
Being stuck on music though, that I can understand. Even with me having my comfort zones, it’s always an occasion worth celebrating when I find an artist or album that absolutely SLAPS me silly from how rad it is.
ADHD here, big texture issues too, I still won’t eat nuts or beans, due to similar reasons (they flake apart in my mouth and I hate the feeling), I have gotten better though, I’ll eat peppers and a lot of vegetables I hated as a kid.
As a kid, I wasn’t a picky eater, but I wouldn’t eat asparagus. Eventually I started eating it. One of the few common American foods I turned my nose up at? Chef Boyardee and similar canned soup noodles. To me, they were always overcooked pasta in a bland, overly salty, homogeneous tomato liquid. I love soup, but screw that.
This makes sense but would be such a mismatch with me. Also I think kids who do not get early exposure to flavors and textures can also develop into picky adults. It’s not a judgement exactly, but a hard no nonetheless.
I am opposite and enjoy novel textures and smells and flavors, enjoy cooking and eating (and cocktails!). It’s nice to share that with people. Obviously nobody likes EVERYTHING, I sure don’t, but just having that open mind about flavors is important to me.
Music, same - I just enjoy it so much, finding new songs, going to concerts. It’s not that I don’t like old - we went to see Foo Fighters, lol, and just recently Thievery Corporation, but the list of what I like has expanded so much since I was young till now. My husband listens most to basically dad rock but will come out to see new bands and quite often is so impressed and loves the music and performance, and he will hear stuff me or the kids are playing, ask about it and add it to his playlist. His mind is not closed.
It’s surprising how being stuck on music from your youth is common. While I do listen to new bands, I was reminded the other day that Futures by Jimmy Eat World is almost twenty years old.
Pointy shoes with high heels.
They destroy your feet, make walking long distances impossible and show me she values unhealthy beauty standards over her own body.
Also, shaved and re-drawn eyebrows, for similar reasons.
Guys, I don’t necessarily agree with what OP said (I didn’t downvote him, though), but why are you downvoting him for freaking answering the question?!! The question says “a trivial thing,” (not “a reasonable thing”) and OP answered with a trivial thing. Vote accordingly.
This is like downvoting unpopular opinions in a thread about unpopular opinions.
They’re probably being downvoted for making a huge leap just from wearing pointy highheels lol. They turned a trivial reason into a non-trivial characterization/flaw about a person.
I don’t know, man. If you dismiss someone for anything trivial, chances are you are judging their whole character to the point of not even dating them.
Here’s a highly upvoted comment:
No passions or hobbies.
No, traveling isn’t a hobby.
It’s really not too different from the high heels one.
Anyway. It is what it is.
Okay, but also, who cares about internet votes? I never vote and I never look at my votes. I don’t understand why people care about this or why it’s even a feature. It doesn’t work, people are clearly stupid about it, why does it exist.
That’s a totally different topic.
I usually gauge internet votes with relevant content. I don’t take them too seriously, though. For more technical questions, it can help.
But of course there’s the occasional hivemind that is irritating - like if someone is asking for help when grieving a lost one, the most upvoted comment is some dark joke meme.
Insisting on having sex with me.
I don’t understand. Like, they just want that to be a part of the relationship? Or they’re pushy?
Maybe ace or demisexual?
define… “insist”, because that’s reading like “I don’t like people who rape me”, which seems reasonable and not a small thing.
