My go to when I’m suicidal is the Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails. It’s the perfect album when I need to feel okay with not being okay. Also gives my depression a name and a face that I can insult and yell at when my brain is being mean to me.
Admittedly I don’t remember when I internalized it, but I remember one day during a car ride I’d told my mom, out of nowhere, completely unprompted, “Mom I don’t care if Santa is or ain’t real, please don’t tell me.” I don’t remember her response, but I was like 8, 9 or so I think.
At that point in time though, NORAD’s Santa tracker is what convinced me he must he real lol
I can at least try clearing some stuff up on being asexual.
While the name Asexuality inherently suggests a complete lack of sexual interest, folks these days try to treat it more as a spectrum, much in the same way that sexuality itself is a spectrum (more to it than gay and straight!) There’s probably a better way to describe the spectrum than calling all parts of it the “I don’t like sex” club, but I digress.
There’s folks like you who are completely not into sex. “Sex repulsed” is the term I’ve seen used most, though repulsion to sex itself doesn’t inherently suggest finding disgust in sex (“It ain’t gross, I just don’t see the appeal”), but plenty enough asexual people find sex to be disgusting in some way, shape, or form that it should be noted.
I’ve always called myself grey asexual - I do get sexual urges, and I enjoy relieving those urges on my own, but the thought of sex itself isn’t a pleasant one for me. I consider myself sex repulsed given my history of having been sexually abused.
I’ve met folks that called themselves demisexual - Sex itself isn’t what’s desired, but rather the human connection one can build with sex, and the bonds that form in one’s passions with another. They’re not interested in random hookups, cause sex itself isn’t the point. They find that sexual appeal rises in people they have a more personal connection to.
The closest example to this I know (and dearly love) is a proto immersive sim on the Doom engine, Strife: Quest for the Sigil. A comet strikes the planet, killing millions and casting the world within the death throes of a plague. In the ruins of the world, a religious sect worshipping a dark god called the Order stepped up and took control.
Aesthetically it’s a lot of medieval castles and towns, but with sci-fi technology crammed everywhere in a way that feels as organic as you can get on the Doom engine in 1996. Your main medieval hub town has a tavern, shopkeeps selling crossbow ammo, leather and metal armors, and you pay for your surgery with the autodoc using gold coins. Do enough missions for the resistance and the doctor even gives you health boosting implants. Your first missions see you raiding a limestone holding area to kill a captured rebel about to rat out the resistance in exchange for his freedom, using a machine gun to break rebels out of prison, then you’re off to knock out a power generation facility before raiding the sewers to find the switch for the main castle forcefield.
It’s a tad clunky in parts, the story isn’t much to write home about (but nails the presentation with a comic book art style and shockingly solid voice acting considering the era and budget), and the sewer level is an unpunished war crime, but if you can get the remastered Veteran Edition made by now veteran game remaster-ers at Nightdive Studios. Or you can find a copy of strife.wad and it’s voices file and load it into GZDoom if you wanna yar har and feedle your dee.
A good aged gouda always does me right.
That is totally gonna be somebody’s Stand’s power in part 9 of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. I’m calling it.
Somebody once hoisted her skirt up, dropped a diarrhea on the wall in a cave, and continued on with her day as if she hadn’t just committed a speleological war crime.
Anything by Shpongle, but here’s a good album to put on! Nothing Lasts… But Nothing is Lost. Fantastic psychedelic trance music with influence from world music.
It’s made of glögg.
Good friends, good music, good vibes, and good weed.
YOU SAY THAT - and are totally right - but that does bring back that memory I’ve got of seeing an utterly disgusting beer brewing kit being sold in the box for $10. The entire store smelled like decay.
Find a stoner buddy whose autistic special interest is music and music history. You’ll have endless recommendations for cool shit.
Source: One of my best mates’ autistic special interest is music and music history.
As for me personally, I like looking up music and genres specific to local areas, particularly those from other cultures. Afrobeat’s been big on my mind ever since I discovered it, and I’ve been having good luck searching through old Zamrock albums.
The Bark and Below It by the Olivia Tremor Control.
Good luck to ya.
Non-joke answer, I’d be curious to hear what kinda lyrics you could give to Hang Up Your Hang Ups by Herbie Hancock.
I’m too fucking lazy to kill myself, that’s what.
The game doesn’t support DirectX 12 because the game is younger than DirectX 12.
“Knew 'em? He was delicious!”
Is “sweat” the term for a collective of reddit users, much in the way a murder is the term for a collective of crows?
It was a pain in the ass but me and a buddy got it working once. I was a young teen and this was long before weed helped me see more beauty in music, so I didn’t get much out of it, but as an adult it’d probably be different.
A friend of mine was feeling ill, but didn’t go to the hospital because he couldn’t afford it. Once the leukemia started advancing though he only lasted a week.