Take our honeymoon straight away. We decided to wait and take our time to plan a big trip after we got married, which was in November 2019…
Then what happened? What a cliffhanger! /s
Wife and I got married in between lockdowns in the UK. We were able to have 4 people there, our witnesses and our photographer and my witness’ wife. Would have liked to have had a few more people there, and a proper bachelor party, and a honeymoon of any kind…
I guess not something that I would change, but I’m very glad we started with a marriage counselor. We did not have any overbearing concerns, but it has been immensely helpful in understanding each other and having a healthier relationship. Sometime people get weird and say “Oh no, a counselor, what’s wrong with your relationship.” Nothing. That is the point. Talk to one to get a baseline and when (not if) challenges come up, you don’t have to waste sessions filling them on your back story. Honestly, I think it should be required to do like three sessions before signing the papers, if nothing else to have someone point some things out that youre blind to otherwise about yourself.
Yes, I wish we had done this then as well. I also would tell myself what my migraine triggers are, so that I could try to avoid getting the worst one ever the day after the wedding. I started the honeymoon on hard mode, and didnt get to enjoy the initial travel. It took a couple days to subside and then honeymoon was great.
I would have spent more time at my wedding basking in the moment.
I cared too much being the good host. And I didn’t get to fully be present at the happiness of holding her hand in marriage.
I liked our wedding, but we would probably elope instead in hindsight.
Sometimes I think this too. But if I was 27 again, I’d still want to do the whole shebang. It’s only with the experience of having done it that I would choose not to do it again. Although it was freaking expensive…
Would have gotten us both mental health drugs and therapy way sooner. Would have had some honest conversations way sooner than we had them. We wouldn’t spend nearly so much time angsting about making other people, especially our parents, happy around the wedding itself because a lot of those things didn’t matter in the long term but took away from our enjoyment of the event for our sake.
I should have thrown myself in front of a train, instead of throwing myself under a bus.
- Pay attention to the hand she gave me to put the ring on. Oh well, not sure anyone noticed.
- Tapped the keg much earlier in the day for the reception. I had no idea that it needed time to settle.
- Make sure we had someone to get the snacks out while we were taking pictures. Seriously, have one designated person, who is not in the wedding party, handle stuff like that.
- Find a different caterer. While the food was pretty good, they missed the vegan plate for my brother-in-law, despite us being really, really certain it was covered. Drinks and water were a disaster. I really think we could have just brought in a fuck-ton of tacos, sodas and water and we’d have been good enough.
- Make damned sure the jeweler’s idea of the ring is clearly the same as yours. We had a custom ring made for my wife and I think the jeweler failed to take good notes and the result was bad, very, very bad. We had the ring re-made, after it was presented and before the wedding. Her ring was very nice for the wedding.
But, not a lot. Sure, the year or so before the wedding was stressful. We did the planning ourselves, put together complex invitations, “save the date” fridge magnets and all the programs. But, because we did give ourselves a year to get it sorted, we had the time to find what we wanted. We had also been living together for a couple years by the time we got married. So, it was more a “ya, we should probably finally do this” than any sort of pressure to “start our life together”.
Talk to her earlier than I did
I would have had a local barbecue joint cater the wedding instead of getting a fancy caterer. The food was the most stressful part of our wedding and it wasn’t even that good for the price and trouble.
Would keep the strawberry shortcake instead of wedding cake though, that was bomb.
Other than the food I wouldn’t change a thing. I married the right guy and he’s just gotten more awesome with time. And we had a (relatively) low-key wedding to start with so there’s not much I have in the way of regrets.
I should have considered leaving my toxic job.
My wife is absolutely amazing I definitely don’t regret that at all.
My wife and I went to Las Vegas to get married. In retrospect we would’ve taken a different airline out there. Spirit sucks.
I’d change what I booked for the honeymoon. We went to Turkey and it was too hot and we both got sick.
I’d have just booked a cottage somewhere nice here in the UK.
Everything went smoothly with the exception of the limousine. I ordered a party bus and received a 90’s Lincoln stretch on its last leg. It was a little embarrassing but we all made the best of it. If I could go back, I’d definitely book with a different company.
Meaning about the actual wedding? Maybe a different DJ or give him more specific instructions (he was good at doing what I specifically requested but bad at using that to figure out what else might be good). Don’t trust that someone else’s taste is like yours.
We didn’t spend too much or stress too much, it was fine. It was never my dream, husband wanted a wedding and not anything specific so we just sort of hosted a big party with a wedding as part of it.
Remember it’s just a blip in what is supposed to be a very long relationship, the wedding is not the important part.
Therapy. Looooooooots of therapy.
