I don’t know if this is something people say in other countries, but in my country, there’s this common cliché or “wisdom” where adults will assure you that the people who picked on you in environments like school will universally develop lives of hardship later on, one way or another getting into mayhem.

I asked my mother one day what happened to all those people growing up. I can sense she may have been sugar coating it, but she said something along the lines of “well, I waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and became a teacher, and waited some more, and finally watched as my bullies had to go into retirement five years late, yay” (okay, not really like that, but it might as well have been).

Yeah, common theme in my experience that what we hope for is never “that” set in stone. No matter where in the community (or even long-distance communicating) you knew them from, based on life, how much approximate correspondence do you associate with that mindset in the first paragraph?

  • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    8 months ago

    I haven’t met a single person I went to school with, since I left my home town to go to university. So, no idea.

  • Chef_Boyardee@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    8 months ago

    There was a kid in grade school growing up that was a bully. He made a kid cry while we were waiting for our class picture to be taken in the 6th grade, and you can see that kid crying in the picture. I still think about it often.

    The bully ended up being one of the greatest running backs my county ever knew. He was a game changer.

    I randomly decided to look up the crying kid from the school picture a couple years ago. He is now a very successful man. I couldn’t be any happier seeing that. It almost brought me to tears.

    The bully was shot and killed in the streets a couple years after graduating high school.

  • renlok@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    8 months ago

    I’ve no idea, I haven’t thought about them since I left school and now I can barely remember their names.

  • Clbull@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    They’re all very successful now. This whole notion that bullies and assholes would be bagging my groceries and asking me “you want fries with that” in adulthood is BS.

    • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.eeOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      8 months ago

      I myself am somewhere in the middle on this. All my classmates were basically this to me because the school allowed it, then when time came to get a job, they were so used to the school environment which disfavored me at their benefit that they ran into a speed bump and ended up feuding with each other. By a rare good stroke of luck, this means I’m my employer’s favorite.

      • Clbull@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        8 months ago

        There may be one exception. A kid in the year above me who I didn’t personally know but looked like one of the many people that bullied me was killed on a night out when he tried to break up a fight.

        It made national news, but mainly because it led to an underage drinking scandal where it turned out loads of pubs weren’t checking ID. He was only 17.

  • Zak@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    15
    ·
    8 months ago

    When we were both five years old, I knew one of my classmates would end up in prison.

    Most kids can be jerks on occasion, and I can think of a few examples where that applied to me as well as it could to anyone. I haven’t generally kept track of people who bullied me in school; I imagine most of them grew out of it, and a few didn’t. This guy was something else, as if cruelty was the only thing that brought him joy.

    At 19, he and two others beat a taxi driver to death. He was convicted of manslaughter and spent more than a decade in prison. A quick web search suggests he’s out of prison and working as a car salesman now.

    • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.eeOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      8 months ago

      He must’ve been unbearable if you knew his fate at five years old. I barely had any concept of prison when I was that age, in fact I was one of those kids who thought it would be easy to just slip through the bars if that ever happened.

      • Zak@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        8 months ago

        I certainly didn’t have an adult understanding of what prison is, but I knew people who committed really serious crimes like murder went there. I expected this person to do something like that, and I wasn’t far off.

  • TheRealKuni@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    8 months ago

    My bully from grade school is serving up to life in prison for attempted murder (he shot two teenagers while he was an adult, something gang related I think) and also sex with a minor.

    Not that he doesn’t deserve it, he absolutely does, but part of me feels bad for him. He never stood a chance. His home life was fucked, he was always on this path and nothing was going to stop it.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    8 months ago

    How would I know? I left my hometown.

    I did see my high school bully occasionally in college. I was in my 5th year of undergrad and he looked like a grad student. But I was usually walking from my fwb’s dorm to class, so i was doing plenty fine myself.

    I hope these people are better and happier but I don’t care to find out.

  • Kondeeka@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    8 months ago

    One of my former bullies ended up working for a local carwash, I found out when he had to wash mine.

  • somehacker@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    8 months ago

    Fuck me if I know what any of them are doing with their lives. Part of me sure wishes that the shitty people from my past are getting what’s coming to them, but also what difference does it make to me what karmic justice may or may not await them.

    My life is objectively better than when I had to deal with their shit. Why waste my mental energy on them?

  • LaggySnake@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    8 months ago

    tbh I can’t even remember any of their names, neither of the ones that were being friendly with me.

  • GraniteM@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    8 months ago

    I was curious about a guy who bullied me in elementary school so I looked up his name on Facebook. His profile picture had a pro-life message in it. I was not at all surprised.

    • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.eeOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      8 months ago

      A bully having a pro-live message? Surprising. You know what’s not surprising? How much you can save by switching to Geico.