I got nothing recent, but here are a few from the past.

I was once reading a magazine and tried to pinch-zoom a photo. I tried multiple times before I understood the depths of my stupidity.

I once took my new car into the dealer about a month after I got it for warranty work because the washer fluid wasn’t working anymore. This was after I looked it over and couldn’t find the cause, so I assumed it was a body control module or maybe the stalk was bad. I was pushing the stalk forward instead of pulling it backwards. The tech, service writer, and myself had a good laugh about how I had forgotten how to use the damn thing. There is a freaking icon with “pull” on the stalk. I had been using it just fine and then caught the stupid one day.

I once remarked that they should invent vizine, but for your mouth while I had cottonmouth. Before anyone steals my idea, water was invented over 12 billion years ago.

I tried to take photos of hallucinations to show others. Yes, photos, plural.

Before you worry, I am dedicated child-free.