Have you ever tried a recipe that turned out to go horribly wrong, or maybe the end product, despite being good, just wasn’t worth the effort? What was that recipe, and what about it made you say “NEVER AGAIN”?
I ask this as I am actively trying to remove the stench of onions from my Instapot lid’s silicone ring after making French Onion Soup in it (so far steaming it with white vinegar on the steam setting, soaking the ring in a water/baking soda bath overnight, and baking it at 250 degrees F for 20 minutes have all done nothing, so I ordered a new one, I give up). And I realized that cutting all the onions and waiting hours for them to caramelize and now this damn smell issue just isn’t worth it. Plus I still have frozen soup in the freezer because I can only eat French Onion soup so many days in a row.
NEVER AGAIN.
I set out tonight to make a delicious chicken paprika kind of stewish thing I’ve done before. As is my usual habit I took the jar of paprika from the cupboard and sprinkled a generous amount in the pan. Tasted after half an hour and fuck me, it was HOT.
It was cayenne pepper, not paprika.
My stomach actually hurts a bit.
This is brutal
Oh spicy.
The spice so nice you feel it twice!
That time I made banana bread but with salt instead of sugar. Accidentally, of course.
It looked sad and squishy, I tried a bit anyway. It was odd, my tongue detected something amiss, but the bad taste arrived a second or two after my brain started “reacting”, like warning lights were flashing but I didn’t know why.
And then the taste of bananabrine arrived and my face locked up in a rictus grimace.i couldn’t control my mouth so I had to scrape it out with my hand.
Truly awful.
Hahaha bananabrine, great description
You give a great visual on this.
I found a recipe for Boston Beans that sounded interesting. It involved stewing kidney beans with tomatoes, brown sugar and bacon bits.
At the end of it I realised I’d made baked beans, exactly like you’d get in a can. It tasted okay, but 45 minutes of effort when I could open a can and heat the contents in five minutes for the same result?
Done well they will be the best baked beans you will ever have… but they are still baked beans. They can only be so good.
Try adding a 3/4 cup of a Baja Chipotle bbq sauce, ancho powder, white pepper, 4 strips chopped bacon, and various other fiery powders n spices
I just think theres a definite ceiling on how good baked beans can be before it stops being baked beans.
True. Southern people would call what I just described a variation on Chili Beans
Angel Food Cake. It turned out fine, but it really wasn’t much better than the store bought kind. Plus it calls for about a million egg whites so I was left with a million egg yolks when it was all said and done.
We buy egg whites in a carton. Much less hassle that way
What did you end up doing with all the egg yolks?
Pumpkin pie using fresh pie pumpkins. It’s not that hard, but it takes more time and means washing more dishes, and no one that I know of can tell the difference vs. a pie made using canned 100% pumpkin.
In college we actually had a huge debate about this, spanning half a decade and involving around 6 separate bakeoffs. I can conclusively say that I cannot tell the difference between whole pumpkin and canned pumpkin. That said, the pre-made canned filling is garbage. I can smell that difference from across the room. I can smell it from among four other pies. It’s like a completely different food product compared to homemade pumpkin custard.
For the store baked pies, it’s the same. The bad ones use the premixed stuff and taste like sadness, and the good ones taste like pumpkin pie. For me, the thicker the pie, the better it probably is, and what really sets good pies apart from each other is the crust.
Yeah, I would never use the canned pie filling, only canned whole pumpkin, although I haven’t done any side by side comparisons, and only have a slice or two per year lately, so I can’t say quite as confidently that I could identify the difference.
As I mentioned in another comment, I actually prefer a graham cracker crust for my pumpkin pie, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen that anywhere other than my own kitchen. It can be a little tricky to get the filling fully cooked without burning the crust, but I’ve found that chilling the crust until just before baking helps a lot.
I love making pumpkin pie from scratch, but fuck doing the crust from scratch. Last time I did that it was super doughy cuz I tried to reroll it out after it didn’t go into the pan right without chilling it beforehand.
Oh, I actually prefer a graham cracker crust for my pumpkin pie, and those are definitely easier than traditional crusts!
Fucking cauliflower vegan “wings” they were the nastiest, smelliest, mushiest pile of gross I have ever tasted.
I have a dog who is a rescue, she was severely neglected when we first got her as a foster and her file stated she had to eat her own feces in order to survive at the place she was rescued from. Well, those cauliflower wings I just told you about? She sniffed them and gagged!! That’s how bad they were.
Sounds like you fucked something up when making them. I’m not vegan but I’ve tried them and they’re ok when done properly. Not special, but okay and far from vile garbage.
Yeah, probably. Still, they smelled like zombie farts so I stir clear away from trying them again but to each their own.
Similarly, cauliflower steak. I followed some recipe that just turned it into a brick of balsamic vinegarette and, while I love both cauliflower and balsamic vinaigrette, this was not delicious nor did it taste like steak.
I tried to make cauliflower hummus once, it was fucking rank.
Fried chicken, it was absolutely delicious but the prep work, frying and dish clean up was more than I’d like.
Orange chicken.
It was my comfort food while studying in the US. At Panda Express it was cheap, convenient, and delicious.
Then I tried making it. And… although I could make delicious-er, it was too much work. Then I forgot how much work it was, and made it again, and I swore, never again. I don’t have a proper kitchen or a fryer, and it took me about two hours of active work (if you’re serving 8 people). Most other food I make is max 20 minutes, and the rest is just time passing and heat doing its thing. Even dishes that take 8 hours to prepare, is usually still only 20-30 minutes of labour.
Without the right kitchen equipment. Never again.
I might make it again soon.
Puff pastry! The constant fear the butter getting too soft, the (seeming) hours of rolling then resting in the freezer, the failure of witnessing the butter melt out in the oven was just too much for me, especially when the pre made frozen stuff is quite good.
That said, I love a challenge and have been thinking of trying it again.
Yeah. I tried it once, just to see if I could do it. Now I know I can, I never need to do it again. I buy the frozen stuff.
Some sort of marshmallow dessert that added condensed milk and sugar.
It caught on fire in the oven.
It tasted like eating pure sugar.
Threw it away after it cooled and it was also a bitch to clean off the pans. 0 stars.
Reminds me of the time I tried to make spun sugar for some decorations and I wrecked so many pans of sugar water by not getting the temperature right and yes, cleaning them was a royal pain in the ass. The sugar basically turned into a solid rock inside the pan every time, so I had to add water and reheat it on the stove to melt it down again just to get it out.
We followed a cake recipe once from some US food blog. We learned then that you should only use half or even one quarter of the sugar stated in recipes from Americans and even then it might be sickeningly sweet.
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If your teeth don’t hurt is it really cake?
French Onion Soup is indeed a bitch and a half, but its also delicious and vwry affordable to make. Next time, try a heavy cast iron pot; it’ll absorb the onions flavor without stinking. That said, you still have to endure chopping 3 lbs of onions…
I’ll probably never make fried ravioli again. I like em on salad but its just a pain to deepfry anything and the payoff isnt worth it.
Chopping onions is not an issue. I remember peeling and cutting three bags of 25 kilograms each with a number of farmers wives for some kind of savory onion cake.They had thought it funny to invite me to their table (I was dropping by as one of them had to leave), expecting to see a young man giving up after a few minutes. What they did not expect was that I was quicker in peeling and cutting than they were, as I’ve had learned to do this from a real cook ;-)
I’ll probably never make fried ravioli again. I like em on salad but its just a pain to deepfry anything and the payoff isnt worth it.
This sounds heathenly (yes, you read that right).
Gotta get an air frier! Totally worth it!
Homemade Soup Dumplings (Xiao Long Bao), made from scratch. So much work. It became quickly evident doing it properly required skill you couldn’t learn from a video or a recipe book and would take a really long time to master.
The whole thing ended up kinda thick and clumpy. Definitely one of those things better left to people who know what they’re doing.
Agreed.
There’s so much skill that goes into making a good dough and then rolling it out. Too thick and it’s gooey and pasty, too thin and it breaks during cooking or when you try to remove it from the steamer. Even among restaurant that serve soup dumplings, not all can make a good dumpling, that told me all I needed to know about attempting it.
Weird, we make Xiao long bao all the time and it’s super simple meal prep food for us. Well spend a couple hours making like 100 of them on a rainy day and then eat them for months. The trick to making them like the restaurant is to clip off the top so you don’t end up with a giant dough lump.
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Smoked brisket. I don’t have the proper smoker, but that didn’t stop me. I turned the thing and watched fuel and air and temperature every half hour for 12 hours. It was delicious. Never again.
I can get pretty much the same results just buying from the barbecue joint 3 miles away.
For me, brisket is more of an event than a meal. Usually I’ll make it when we have friends staying with us for the weekend, and it’s an excuse for us to have beers at 6am once the meat is in the smoker. We all take turns watching temps and fuel, and having the extra hands helps with wrapping and stuff.
Another option is smoked top sirloin roast aka picanha. It has a thick fat cap and lots of marbling into the meat. Traditionally, it’s cut into steaks and grilled on a skewer, but i also like to smoke it whole and sear off the fat cap at the end. Prep is fairly simple, remove some of the fat cap (down to about 1/2") score the rest almost to the meat, season the whole thing with salt and pepper, then in the smoker at 250F. I will then take the fat trimmings and cut them down into small pieces and put them in the smoker to render into tallow. After about an hour or when the meat is 130F, I’ll wrap in pink butcher paper using the tallow that I just rendered. From there, I just watch until it hits about 155F. At that point, you can let it rest and eat, but I like to throw it on a hot grill fat side down to get a good crispy sear on it. Slice it in thin strips like brisket, it melts in your mouth.
Oh, I’m Brazilian and I’m almost cursing at you and blessing you at the same time. I’ll have to try this.
Protip for grilling picanha: you’ll want the smallest piece you can find. They’re more tender. Not so relevant if you’re slow smoking.
Of course I’d find the Brazilian when I suggest improperly cooking a picanha :p
My wife and I tried to make Pho one year for our anniversary. Went all out and got stuff from the Asian market to make it authentic and to the recipe I was recommended.
It was so bad, we just had to throw it out and order pizza. It sucks cuz I really like Pho, but it’s just not worth trying to do myself.
I’ve got pretty close with my instant pot recipe, but its hours of work and I end up throwing away so much rotted veg because I don’t use it all. So yeah, way better to buy in from a local place.
