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  • TootSweet@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “Thank you for calling the U.S. nuclear arsenal command system. To launch nuclear missiles, press one. Para Español, marque dos.”

    • SPRUNT@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I get what kind of chicks would double-up on a dude with a million dollars, but I’m suddenly VERY curious about the kind of chicks that would do that for a dude with a 1-800 number.

      • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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        11 months ago

        Two chicks who call that number and independently report they’d be down for a completely anonymous FFM three-way - and follow through?

        It could happen, life’s a weird thing, but there’s unicorns and then there’s this. If everyone leaves without a disease and with all their kidneys they should probably go buy lottery tickets.

    • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      11 months ago

      Let’s say you have a 50/50 chance of getting your choice of a vanity number or a randomly assigned 800 number - what do you do in either outcome?

      • Cinner@lemmy.worldB
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        11 months ago
        1. Research the highest selling ever vanity number, consult with the largest vanity number holders, find out what the most expensive vanity number is.
        2. If I get it, sell it.
        3. If it’s random, ask a bunch of people on Lemmy what their ideas would be if that happened.
  • NotJustForMe@lemmy.ml
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    11 months ago

    “Put that fork down. You can do it. The urge will go away in 30 minutes. Be strong. Wait a while. Eat an egg. Wait a while longer. Be strong. You are doing it. Love yourself being strong.”

  • Dizzy Devil Ducky@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    If I could, just use it for any and every single service that requires you to sign up using a phone number and don’t allow things like VoIP.

    Otherwise, I ain’t got no use for it.

  • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I’d play the Nickelodeon theme song on repeat at 180 decibels for as long as the caller is on the line.

    If they hang up, a voicemail will be sent to them that contains… you guessed it, the Nickelodeon theme song at 180 dB. It will be played only once in this case.

    Truly what an ingenious way to fry your phone’s earpiece/speaker in addition to your ears and those of everyone around you within at least a kilometer of distance, all by listening to a too loud overamplified distorted rendition of those 5 notes known to be associated with Nickelodeon. I’d go to jail for causing such a disaster (both for “ear terrorism” AND copyright infringement).

  • Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I actually have a toll free number. I was going to potentially use just for a goofy project, however once robodialers find out you have a working number you might get a flood of spam calls. This sucks because you(as the toll free owner) are billed for any minutes for calls that connect to you.

    Someone would have to foot those bills and that’s really how you’d only get a 1-800 number “for free”.

    • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      11 months ago

      That sucks - though depending on the provider (I’ve been digging around on this), there are some that offer unlimited minutes as part of their monthly/annual package. Not all, though, and those seem to be on the pricier end (though in the grand scheme of things, not crazy expensive).

      • Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I shouldn’t have even said or eluded to any kind of real project - just more of a loose idea. I wanted to set up something similar to Lenny but not necessarily for the same application against telemarketers. Just wanted to tinker around but never got off the ground - mostly because of some painful stupidity on my part trying to set up FreePBX and deleting my whole HDD accidentally.

        What was yours?

        • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          11 months ago

          One of the following ideas, in order of how likely I could get it running (given I wouldn’t have the foggiest what I’m doing):

          1. Forward the 1-800 calls to a free VoIP voicemail service, inviting callers to leave to leave the date, their location, and a message. Print stickers with the number, slap them on however many payphones I can find, and see what happens. I could do this tomorrow if I wanted.

          2. Same idea, but routing to a FreePBX set up with whitelisting. While slapping up stickers, dial an echo number (don’t think that’s the right term - one that just reads back the number you’re calling from, not one that echos what you’re saying to test latency), add number to whitelist. That payphone is now activated. Activated payphones get to leave a message, anyone else gets ‘Good bye’ and disconnected. Some reading suggests this is possible, but with many, many things to learn between now and then (especially whitelisting). I’d be starting from 0 knowledge.

          3. The above, but when you hit # to end your message, you get access to some automated menus with some fun/weird stuff (qotd, show times for upcoming bands I find interesting, a party line would be cool, etc.). See all comments demonstrating ignorance.

          Why? It’s pretty dumb, but seems like it’d kill some time and could garner some interesting/weird audio. I do like the idea of whitelisting payphones only, both to cut down on bot call vectors and to push the like 3 interested people to use the disappearing comms anachronisms around town.

          • Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Lol really fascinating and fun sounding honestly. But why do you keep referring to calling party numbers as payphones? Am I missing something or what do payphones have to do with this.

            • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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              11 months ago

              Probably just poor writing.

              I had an interaction a while back that made me start thinking about payphones, and since you can call toll-free numbers from payphones here without depositing any coins (checked to make sure this is still a thing last week), this seemed like an interesting idea.

              I have some artsy-fartsy thoughts about it, too: creative uses of dying infrastructure; ‘true’ anonymity - the info I’m getting from people is basically the number they’re calling from, as a product of that their location during the call, and whatever audio they want to shove down the pipe - that’s it; ideas about locality and physicality in an age where mass communication has erased borders in many senses, but people feel disconnected from their local communities more than ever, etc.

              If you have some time to kill, I wrote a long-winded comment about it earlier and put it on a pastebin clone here (due to length limitations for comments here): https://pastes.io/paoqsezsjn

              Basically, I like the idea of this weird number you can only reach from payphones someone slapped a sticker on in 2024, that doesn’t ask for money (even the .50 to connect), doesn’t try to sell you anything, and primarily just offers a box to leave some audio in. Could yield nothing, could yield something neat.

  • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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    11 months ago

    I’ve been thinking about phones a lot lately - payphones in particular.

    Warning: link to novel-length rambling follows - like to the point I’m giving little section names, a title and everything, and had to toss it into a pastebin thing (but not pastebin, it looks like they didn’t like my use of the word fuck or something) rather than this comment like I intended.

    Basically, it’s an invitation to waste some time. It can be summed up by “Idk, I’d make a weird voicemail or PBX system and leave the number at remaining payphones, I guess. That could be fun.”

    https://pastes.io/paoqsezsjn

  • shastaxc@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    I don’t care if someone gave it to me for free. I still wouldn’t call whatever number they gave me! For that matter, I wouldn’t pay them to give me a number either.

    • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      11 months ago

      Assume you are given a 1-800 number for your own use - people can call it and reach whatever you set up (you directly, a voicemail box, a phone menu set up, a dialup connection, whatever). The number is free and your minutes are unlimited.

      Would you use it? If so, what for?